Women and Men and Family

Women more Choshuv than Men?

Dovid Eidensohn

Before he died, the daughters of Tselofchod approached Moshe Rabbeinu with a halacha question. Their father died and left no son; but the daughters wanted a portion of Israel when the Jews went there. Moshe did not know the law and asked HaShem. HaShem  replied that the daughters of Tselofchod were right and were entitled to their portion in the land.  Rashi says, “This shows that the daughters of Tselofchod could see farther into heaven than Moshe could.” Which is an extraordinary thought. But I look at it differently. I feel that this, which took place just before Moshe died, was a great encouragement for Moshe.

Meaning, that if we look at the Torah and the prophetic books, we see great sins from Jews. Moshe, of all people, knew this better than anyone. Regularly HaShem would tell Moshe that He was angry at the Jews for their sins, and Moshe had to pray to Him to forgive the Jews, which He usually did.

Now Moshe was dying, and what would happen if the Jews continued to sin? Who would pray to HaShem to save them from destruction? But now Moshe realized, that in the merit of Jewish women, Israel was safe.

The Gaon Rav Shmuel Taubenfeld zt”l once told me that the Zohar says that women relative to men are special. This is a gemora in Baitsa 17A: “Greater is the trust HaShem has in women than he has in men.” The gemora quotes this from Yeshayeh the Prophet.

The gemora in Sota 11b says that, “In the merit of the righteous women the Jews were saved from Egypt.” The gemora talks about the horrors visited upon the Jewish men and women, and how the women circumvented their portion of the suffering and fed their suffering husbands in their hideous struggles. They visited their husbands during their struggles and had babies from them. And HaShem sustained these babies. These babies became the great multitude of Jews who merited to leave Egypt.

My grandmother once told me that Jewish women in those days always put their energies into Jewish matters such as building up Israel, but the men joined non-Jewish groups. I never forgot it. When I married and began having children with HaShem’s help, I would speak every Shabbos for long periods on the greatness of women. It is they who have the babies and who raise the babies. I thank HaShem for the success we have had with our children who are known to be outstanding.

Just before, my daughter asked me a question she was asked, if a girl needs to help her mother with the children but wants to doven a long time, and these conflict. I told her that a shorter period of prayer with proper thought is greater than much prayer without proper thought. I also told her that raising children is the core of Jewish values and is given over to the women.

My daughter told me that once her teacher was talking about the importance of women. My daughter stood up and said, “My father always says that we must greatly respect women for raising the children and sustaining the Jewish family.” That was consider somewhat shocking.

Well, it is several gemoras, a passage in Yeshasha the Prophet, and the hope of our Jewish future. If only we could truly respect members of our own families, how many happy children would emerge, who would in their time, bring more happy Jews into the world.