Profile Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

Friday, January 11, 2019

The Laws of a Forced GET


GET MEUSA -  A Forced GET

By Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

The Rambam[1] says: “And how do we know that these ten things are Torah rules, as it is said, ‘and it will be if she does not find favor in his eyes that he will write for her a document of divorce’…’if she will not find favor in his eyes’ this teaches us that he may only divorce  her if he does so willingly.’”

It would thus seem from the Rambam that any divorce given not from the will of the husband who wants the divorce but by the husband under pressure he does not want, is by Torah rules an invalid Get. If so, children born from such a Get are mamzerim diorayso.

See also Rashbo VII:414 “We not force a GET to divorce his wife. But if he wants to give a GET, let him give the GET. And if he does not wish to do this, let him not do it.”

But in recent years the fact that most people marry with Kiddushin, and the only way for the woman to leave the husband is if he gives her a GET willingly, makes problems. Some husbands refuse, perhaps because the children don’t want their parents to divorce. Some husbands are very hurt that their wives want to leave them, and may demand money. And of course, some husbands simply don’t want the wives to leave them, for a variety of reasons.

The Vilna Gaon quotes a gemora in Sanhedrin 21A that Kiddushin and Pilegesh are both permitted in marriage. Kiddushin requires a Kesubo and Kiddushin, with two kosher witnesses, and Pilegesh requires nothing. Two people can marry alone and the wife goes to the husband’s house. For as long as they live happily together, fine. If one of them wants to end the marriage, that is also fine. No penalties for anyone.

Today many rabbis and even rabbinical courts in America and Israel violate the Torah and force husbands to divorce their wives. If the wife remarries with a forced and invalid GET and has a child from her new husband, the child is a mamzer. Some even invent lies that the husband is mentally unable for marriage. These lies come from ‘rabbis’ who have Yeshivas and shulls, but their opinions are worthless, as I heard from my rebbe Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashev zt”l. Once a Beth Din pulls these kind of tricks, it is ruined as a Beth Din. Its divorces and similar things are not recognized.[2] Then the wife must go to a kosher Beth Din to get a kosher GET from her husband, given willingly by the husband.

In the beginning of the laws of Kiddushin marriage in Shulchan Aruch Even Hoezer, beginning of chapter 26, the Vilna Gaon, Ramban and Rambam say that Pilegesh is permitted to make marriage even without Kesubo and Kiddushin. Two people may alone have the wife come to the husband’s house. If they want to remain married, fine. If one of them wants to end the marriage, fine. If the wife begins to date other men, or become involved in Zenuse, that ends the marriage.

 But the great rabbis who enthusiastically support Pilegesh have a caveat. Two people can not just “shack up,” which is zenuse. They must appear before a prominent rabbi and have him approve of them becoming Pilegesh. The wife must commit to going to the Mikva. And since some Mikvas won’t accept a Pilegesh, the rabbi must vouch for them and have the Mikva accept the Pilegesh.

Furthermore, not every rabbi is designed to deal with Pilagshim. Ramban even writes to his rebbe who was a great tsadik and Chosid, not to deal with Pilagshim. Perhaps the Ramban felt that he could deal with Pilagshim, and be strong enough to ensure their proper behavior. But maybe his rebbe was not the person for this kind of control.

I studied intensively under the greatest European rabbis, Geonim Rabbi Aharon Kotler of Lakewood Yeshiva, Rabbi Yaacov Kaminetsky Rosh Yeshiva of Torah Vidaas, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein perhaps the leading posek in America, and the Klozenberger Dayan in Williamsburg Rav Fishel Hershkowitz.

If somebody wants to marry with Pilegesh let them contact me at 845-578-1917 or eidensohnd@gmail.com. They will have to appear before me and sign papers that they agree to obey what I instruct them. But if they do, they can tell me when, especially the wife, decides to break the marriage of Pilegesh. Then there or no fines or problems.

I feel that when the gemora in Sanhedrin 21A states clearly that Pilegesh marriage is permitted, and the Vilna Gaon, Ramban and Rambam agree, that it is fine with me. Now some disagree, but today, with the enormous number of people who are unable to get a willing GET from their husbands and then turn to ‘rabbis’ to permit them to do the wrong things and make mamzerim, it is time to recognize that in Pilegesh people come and go without making mamzerim. But again, a senior rabbi is required to guide them.







[1] Noshim Gerushin 1:2 Laws of Divorce in Mishneh Torah chapter one paragraph 2
[2] There is an entire book written by the greatest Israeli and American rabbis, Rosh Yeshivas and Poskim, Mishpitei Yisroel, given out free of charge, to stem the enormous flow of mamzerim created by women forcing GETS from their husbands and those who go to secular courts for a ruling that the husband must give a GET. There are even countries and states in US today that cooperate with this mamzer making. And things will be worse tomorrow.

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