GET MEUSA - A Forced GET
By Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn
The Rambam[1] says:
“And how do we know that these ten things are Torah rules, as it is said, ‘and
it will be if she does not find favor in his eyes that he will write for her a
document of divorce’…’if she will not find favor in his eyes’ this teaches us
that he may only divorce her if he does
so willingly.’”
It would thus seem from the Rambam that any divorce given not from
the will of the husband who wants the divorce but by the husband under pressure
he does not want, is by Torah rules an invalid Get. If so, children born from
such a Get are mamzerim diorayso.
See also Rashbo VII:414 “We not force a GET to divorce his wife.
But if he wants to give a GET, let him give the GET. And if he does not wish to
do this, let him not do it.”
But in recent years the fact that most people marry with Kiddushin,
and the only way for the woman to leave the husband is if he gives her a GET
willingly, makes problems. Some husbands refuse, perhaps because the children
don’t want their parents to divorce. Some husbands are very hurt that their
wives want to leave them, and may demand money. And of course, some husbands
simply don’t want the wives to leave them, for a variety of reasons.
The Vilna Gaon quotes a gemora in Sanhedrin 21A that Kiddushin and
Pilegesh are both permitted in marriage. Kiddushin requires a Kesubo and
Kiddushin, with two kosher witnesses, and Pilegesh requires nothing. Two people
can marry alone and the wife goes to the husband’s house. For as long as they
live happily together, fine. If one of them wants to end the marriage, that is
also fine. No penalties for anyone.
Today many rabbis and even rabbinical courts in America and Israel
violate the Torah and force husbands to divorce their wives. If the wife
remarries with a forced and invalid GET and has a child from her new husband,
the child is a mamzer. Some even invent lies that the husband is mentally
unable for marriage. These lies come from ‘rabbis’ who have Yeshivas and shulls,
but their opinions are worthless, as I heard from my rebbe Rav Yosef Shalom
Elyashev zt”l. Once a Beth Din pulls these kind of tricks, it is ruined as a
Beth Din. Its divorces and similar things are not recognized.[2] Then
the wife must go to a kosher Beth Din to get a kosher GET from her husband,
given willingly by the husband.
In the beginning of the laws of Kiddushin marriage in Shulchan
Aruch Even Hoezer, beginning of chapter 26, the Vilna Gaon, Ramban and Rambam
say that Pilegesh is permitted to make marriage even without Kesubo and
Kiddushin. Two people may alone have the wife come to the husband’s house. If
they want to remain married, fine. If one of them wants to end the marriage,
fine. If the wife begins to date other men, or become involved in Zenuse, that
ends the marriage.
But the great rabbis who
enthusiastically support Pilegesh have a caveat. Two people can not just “shack
up,” which is zenuse. They must appear before a prominent rabbi and have him
approve of them becoming Pilegesh. The wife must commit to going to the Mikva.
And since some Mikvas won’t accept a Pilegesh, the rabbi must vouch for them
and have the Mikva accept the Pilegesh.
Furthermore, not every rabbi is designed to deal with Pilagshim.
Ramban even writes to his rebbe who was a great tsadik and Chosid, not to deal
with Pilagshim. Perhaps the Ramban felt that he could deal with Pilagshim, and
be strong enough to ensure their proper behavior. But maybe his rebbe was not
the person for this kind of control.
I studied intensively under the greatest European rabbis, Geonim
Rabbi Aharon Kotler of Lakewood Yeshiva, Rabbi Yaacov Kaminetsky Rosh Yeshiva
of Torah Vidaas, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein perhaps the leading posek in America,
and the Klozenberger Dayan in Williamsburg Rav Fishel Hershkowitz.
If somebody wants to marry with Pilegesh let them contact me at
845-578-1917 or eidensohnd@gmail.com.
They will have to appear before me and sign papers that they agree to obey what
I instruct them. But if they do, they can tell me when, especially the wife,
decides to break the marriage of Pilegesh. Then there or no fines or problems.
I feel that when the gemora in Sanhedrin 21A states clearly that
Pilegesh marriage is permitted, and the Vilna Gaon, Ramban and Rambam agree,
that it is fine with me. Now some disagree, but today, with the enormous number
of people who are unable to get a willing GET from their husbands and then turn
to ‘rabbis’ to permit them to do the wrong things and make mamzerim, it is time
to recognize that in Pilegesh people come and go without making mamzerim. But
again, a senior rabbi is required to guide them.
[1]
Noshim Gerushin 1:2 Laws of Divorce in Mishneh Torah chapter one paragraph 2
[2] There
is an entire book written by the greatest Israeli and American rabbis, Rosh
Yeshivas and Poskim, Mishpitei Yisroel, given out free of charge, to stem the
enormous flow of mamzerim created by women forcing GETS from their husbands and
those who go to secular courts for a ruling that the husband must give a GET.
There are even countries and states in US today that cooperate with this mamzer
making. And things will be worse tomorrow.
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