Showing posts with label How to Succeed with Children and Good Marriages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How to Succeed with Children and Good Marriages. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Part Six of Broken Marriages and Divorces- What is the Solution for our Future?

 They key to our future is to return to one of two paths. One, is the style of Torah initiated by the Gro and Reb Chaim Volloznher, that students learned without enough food for years. I don't think think this is likely to happen and if it is started I don't think it will last very long. In those days starving was part of life. Today, nobody heard of it. So that is not a solution.

Another idea is to go back to the style of Chazal, as indicated by Rambam and the gemora. The goal in life for a Jewish man is to be great in Torah, also wealthy, and in addition to be great in Derech Erets and human relations, meaning of courses family as well, and four, to master basic skills needed for life, as the rabbis taught, "Greater is one who toils with his hands than those who fear heaven."

Years ago when I taught English to children late in the afternoon, I was exhausted, they were exhausted, and one day the Principal came into the class during recess and found that all of the children were working with pen and paper doing their school tasks. He asked me why the children don't go to recess. I explained that they did not want to go to recess. They liked doing work. He walked out and did not complain.

A prominent therapist has said that happiness comes from doing something that offers two things: One is that he can do it, and two, that it is a challenge. If the challenge is too hard, the person gets frustrated and quits. If the challenge is too easy, the task is boring. But if a person works on a challenge that he can do, but it is a challenge, the flow of his feelings will be happy and positive, even more happy and positive than when he enjoys himself eating or some similar pleasure.

If we can begin our children's education at a very early age to learn how to learn Torah, to learn how to earn, to learn how to have Derech Erets, and to learn how to cope with various physical tasks, we produce somebody who after many years of this is ready for marriage. A woman who marries such a person is very likely to be happy. She has Torah. She has money. She has Derech Erets. She has a talented husband. What more can she ask?

But how do we do this? We have to first teach the value of this program, which is really the program of the Torah from the earliest times and the way of the gemora. We find in the gemora the greatest Talmudists who were often very wealthy. How could this be? If children all earned as children and came to adulthood with the money to buy a house without a mortgage and a steady income, we understand. Some of these children continued earning until they became wealthy, and some became very wealthy. But as children and as adults, the learning was the major task of the day. But the work was a steady project, even though it was not the major task of the day.

Our task now is to find people who realize the danger of raising children in the present environment, and who want to give their children a chance at a really wonderful family life, great in Torah, great in wealth, Derech Erets and general skills.

Let us realize that young children spend an enormous amount of time watching television and playing ball and wasting time. If we can capture the "flow" of the child to earn money, he will gladly work hard at it. Every coin that clinks into his pocket will strengthen his resolve to continue. And when he succeeds in Torah, not with lessons that are designed to show how clever the teacher is, but are designed in the ancient Torah style to begin from the beginning and master the entire work, and to continue until more and more books are truly mastered, happy children and successful children will be happy and successful adults.

I am looking for people who are interested in developing such programs. If you are interested in this, call me at 845-578-1917. Thank you.