Why Make Invalid Divorces?
There are people working hard to make invalid divorces. The
invalid divorces mean that when the woman remarries with her invalid divorce,
her new children will be mamzerim, or doubtful mamzerim. So why do so many
people even rabbis work so hard to force invalid Gittin? Even when they are
confronted with open sources in Shulchan Aruch, Rishonim and Acharonim, they
continue. These are Orthodox people, even rabbis. Why?
A Jew once did something so terrible that nobody heard of a Jew
doing such a thing. A rabbi was asked how this could be and he replied, “I
don’t know why. But one thing I know. He did it leshaim shomayim.” He did it to
serve HaShem. When a person steals because he needs money, he knows it is
wrong, so he tries to minimize his sin. But when somebody steals because he
feels it is a mitzvah to rob a rich man to feed himself, a poor man, there is
no limit. Again, when a person is excited about doing a mitzvah but it is an
evil thing, he will do any anything. And if he is convinced that the right
thing to do is to free a woman from a bad marriage, he will make an invalid
GET.
This is one way of looking at it. But this is true for
people who are not scholars. But how do the rabbis and the scholar do these
things? And what about people who are told clearly the exact places in Shulchan
Aruch where it is forbidden to coerce a GET in the vast majority of cases? Why
do they continue to coerce divorces?
I spoke to a major Rov who was a backer of people who
coerced divorces. I asked him how he could do this against the sources that I
mentioned. He told me that he had a source. It was brought in Ramo in the laws
of Gittin, that if a man is not able to be a man with his wife, he must give a GET. But we may not beat him or put
him in cherem. We may only do minor things, such as telling him he is wicked
for doing this and disobeying the Talmud. Ramo mentions also that we can
ostracize the man in a passive manner, as long as he can leave the community
and save himself their ostracizing. In this case itself, of the man who is not
able to perform in marriage, the Rashbo, Radvaz, Beis Yosef and Chazon Ish and
others say clearly that it is forbidden to humiliate him. And yet, this Rov
sponsored rallies outside of the house of the husband to force him to give a GET.
He reasoned that if it was permitted to tell a man who is not able to function
in marriage that he is wicked for not giving his wife a GET, then any case, any
man, who refuses a GET for whatever reason, may be humiliated.
And although the Ramo permits only passive ostracizing, this
major Rov permitted open active tormenting of the husband with public
demonstration that could make him and his family, especially older parents,
sick, and terrorize little children. Why? When you want to do a good deed the
Satan has you. There are no boundaries. The Ramo says coerce a man who is told
by the Talmud to divorce, because he is not a man. So you coerce every man who will not give a GET,
even if he had children with the wife. The Ramo says that we ostracize the husband only in a passive
manner, but the major Rov permitted humiliating the husband in an active
manner. Why? You are doing what you think is a good deed. So you invent sources
and excuses for it, even though it produces mamzerim.
How can a major Rov cause great pain to completely innocent
people? Because the “Agunah” people have demonized men who won’t cough up the
GET on demand. The fact that such a lady is the ultimate child molester and
will have mamzerim for children is not the issue. People don’t demonize the
wife even if she remarries without a proper GET. They demonize the husband.
It is time for men to copy the ladies. Organize, and have
your public say. Our blog will allow both men and women to say their piece,
without mentioning any names, just in general what their complaints and
suffering are. I hope it can be done in a positive way, so that people know
that suffering in a broken marriage includes everyone, especially children. And
we have to stop working hard to break up marriages. A letter from HaGaon Rav
Chaim Kanievsky shlit”o is circulating about a prominent Beth Din that he
criticized for breaking up marriages. This has got to stop.
Therefore, if anyone has a comment to make about the divorce
situation, male or female, and from my experience I know that such things
exist, I will consider putting it on my blog. No names. Just send me an email
at dddeid@verizon.net. I don’t take
comments easily on my blog, so please email me. If you email me you can say your
name, and you can call me also. But the blog usually will not quote a person’s
attack on another with using a name or names.
Thank you.
