The 127 Years of Sora Wife of Avrohom

By Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

“And the lives of Soro were one hundred years, and twenty years, and seven years, the years of the lives of Soro.”[1] In the Hebrew this is: ויהיו חיי שרה מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים שני חיי שרה.

There are many questions on this passage. One, “And these were the lives of Soro.” Did she have more than one life?

Two, her lives were “a hundred years” “and twenty years”. In the Hebrew years are in the singular “שנה” not the plural  “SHONIM – שנים”. However the final collection of “years” (seven years) is in the plural שנים.

Rashi there teaches us that “it writes ‘year’ after each grouping of years [a hundred years and twenty years and seven years] to teach us that each grouping of years has an individual teaching. When she was a hundred years old she was as one twenty years old regarding sinning. Just as a person twenty years old is not considered a sinner because at that age one is not punished, so when she was a hundred years old she was with no sin. And when she was twenty years old she was like one who is seven years old regarding beauty.” We wonder just what kind of compliment this is. Somebody a hundred years old who has sins of a twenty year old is not a compliment. Maybe in heaven the rod of punishment is somewhat removed at the tender age of twenty, but it is no compliment to have the sins of somebody twenty, because somebody twenty can do many sins and do major sins. Furthermore, when she was twenty she was as one seven years old for beauty. What kind of compliment is this? Who wants to be beautiful as a seven years old?

Perhaps we could explain as follows. The three groups of years are 100, 20, and 7. These three numbers are also letters. One hundred is the value of the letter KUF ק'. Twenty is the letter CHOF כ'. Seven is the letter Zayin ז'.

We could explain as follows. The letter KUF or ק' is really a HAY ה' except that the small line on the left side of the HAY plunges down through the line. Regarding holiness, that which is high up is “heavenly” and that which is beneath the line is a problem. Thus, the HAY, which is a major letter of HaShem’s Holy Name because it has four letters and two of them are HAYs, represents great holiness. But the KUF is a HAY that part of it plunges down, the opposite place of holiness. We would thus assume that KUF is about lack of holiness, but it is not that simple. The gemora in Shabbos 104A says that KUF stands for holiness, as holiness is in Hebrew קדוש that begins with a KUF ק'. But if it stands for holiness why does it take the form of a HAY which is very holy but part of it plunges down, and going down instead of rising is the opposite of holiness. But the answer is that Soro was a holy woman. Indeed, she was a greater prophet than her husband, Avrohom, who was the greatest holy person who founded the Jewish people and was constantly lose to G-d. But when the Satan sees a very holy person his job is to make trouble. And he made trouble with Soro who was captured by kings and taken to their palaces where she trembled with fear but HaShem protected her. Thus, she was holy and she was also KUF in the sense of falling down and being captured by kings who wanted to marry her, a terrible disaster. Therefore, “when she was a hundred” meaning and the holiness was challenged in the worst way, she was as one twenty who has no sin. Now, this level of no sin for a twenty year old is no compliment, but technically, it is true that twenty is not an age where heaven punishes a sinner, but rather exudes mercy. Of course Soro who did not sin when she was captured because of her beauty had the two levels of great holiness, as KUF a hundred represents holiness, but this holiness is manifested when one has tests that produce great spiritual challenges, which is not pure holiness but holiness despite the horrors of the Satan. This is the greatest level of holiness, but it is not the holiness of no trace of sin, but holiness despite a terrible challenge from the Satan to sin. The rabbis say, “Light from darkness is a special light.”

But there is another understanding here. When she was a hundred or KUF she was as one twenty or CHOF. Chof is the letter for KESER or crown. KESER in Kabbala is the highest purity where there is no trace of anything not heavenly. When Soro sat in the palace of Pharoah and Avimelech and faced the terror of great sin, she was at the level of CHOF or KESER or Crown, the holiest level. But the problem in this holiness is that there is no way for people to understand KESER, as it belongs in the highest realm with HaShem, and people can’t understand it or its light. Therefore, the passage continues with another letter, ZAYIN, for seven years, that represents a young child seven years old. This child, Rashi tells us, at the age of seven has a special beauty, that described the level of Soro. Was Soro beautiful like a child? What kind of beauty is that? But we just explained that KUF means holiness under great challenge from the Satan, and one who conquers the evil rises to the level of CROWN or KESER, the holiest level far beyond what a human being can understand. But when Soro achieved this level, she revealed a great beauty of purity, the level seven or ZAYIN, because a child has no hidden holiness, only a revealed purity. And the mighty lights of the Crown of Keser showed in Soro’s visage. Whoever saw her was elevated by the sight of great purity and holiness, and the hidden lights of the highest world of KESER. Soro brought these high levels into human understanding, the seven years of a child, which was an incredible level.

Now let us return to the questions we asked why the Torah mentions three groups of years, 100, 20, and 7. IN 100 and 20 it says the singular form of “years” not years but year, not SHONIM but SHONO. But with the final level, of seven years it says seven years in the plural SHONIM.  But recall that 100 is KUF which is KEDUSHO or holiness, a very hidden level of the highest holiness that radiates a great light but who understands it? But this great light was as 20 meaning that letter כ'  that is the first letter of כתר KESER or CROWN. KESER is  the peak of holiness in this world, very close to HaShem.

The KUF holiness that was challenged by great sin when Soro was taken to kings for her beauty becomes KODOSH or holiness when somebody fights the evil and conquers it. Soro retained her great holiness in the palace of the king who wanted to abuse her in the worst way, and she merited that everything in the KUF flipped around into KESER or Crown utterly beyond human understanding. So what? What do we gain from something nobody understands? The answer is that the next level was SEVEN, a simple beauty that was obvious, and this simple beauty contained the holiness of KUF and the hidden holiness of CHOF, and revealed both. Therefore, the clause of the seven was in the plural, because it contained both the KUF and the KESER which are vastly hidden worlds of the highest levels, and both of them are revealed through the level of Soro and her struggle to remain holy amid the worst challenges.

The passage concludes, “the years of the lives of Soro.” Years plural and lives plural. Because Soro lived in the dimension of challenge. She lived in the dimension of reward for standing up to the challenge. And she merited to shine with a holiness that lit the world for everyone to benefit from it, as her holiness with the highest hidden light became revealed to others as even a child could understand they were standing in the presence of something very sacred.

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[1] (Beraishis23:1)

The Orthodox Gains and the Hyphenated Orthodox Decline

The Orthodox Gains and the Hyphenated Orthodox Declines

Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

The Orthodox Increase in population is powered by large families and by people who are not Orthodox deciding to become Orthodox. When the Posek HaDor Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashev zt”l died, a secular newspaper revealed that he left over a thousand progeny of children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc. What did this fact mean to the secular Israeli? What it meant is that here is a person, one man, who produced over a thousand people who were either all or most basically Orthodox as he was. Compare this with the secular Israel who has a very small birth rate. The sad comment on the secular Israeli’s propagation is that a family produces a child and a dog. The child then goes to Japan to marry somebody who is not Jewish, and the dog doesn’t vote.

Years ago the secular Kibbuts, perhaps controlled by leftist or even Communists, produced the senior officers of the army. But today those Kibbutsim have declined or disappeared, and the new element powering up the Israel army is completely Orthodox soldiers who believe that defending the holy land is a great mitzvah. After a period of some years, these Orthodox soldiers have made a good name for themselves, and they are on their way to be the future generals. The recent battles in Gaza were led by an Israeli colonel who is completely Orthodox. He spent years in America learning from and teaching American soldiers. If he wasn’t Orthodox he would probably have become a general by now. But making future generals Orthodox is a great threat to the secularists who control the army. But rejecting Orthodox soldiers from the highest positions is futile, because nobody else in Israel is so motivated to be a top soldier.

Our remarks here are not about the secular Jew, but about those who call themselves Orthodox or those who call themselves Orthodox plus a hyphenated word such as Modern Orthodox or Open Orthodox. When we say that they decline, what do we base this on? Basically, somebody who is Orthodox plus Modern or Open reveals that his Orthodoxy is tampered with other beliefs, and these beliefs are contrary to Orthodoxy. Otherwise, who needs the hyphenation? Just say you are Orthodox.

Let us examine the Orthodoxy of Modern Orthodox Jews. Are they completely Orthodox? First of all, who are they? Many of them come from Yeshiva University. Now, Yeshiva University was the only game in town in the early years of the twentieth century. Great European Gedolim taught there and instilled a Jewish spirit in many people who were ready to go to a secular college and get completely lost. But after a class or two with the European Gedolim, these American college students then studied under the atheists who teach in the secular colleges. Here is hyphenation. And it produces confusion. But confusion is not the right word. It produces an understanding that Orthodoxy is a compartmentalized religion. Part Rav Soloveitchik and part the people who teach about Einstein and other things that are filled with anti-Torah ideas. But things are worse than that. Let us be specific about the problems with Modern Orthodox. Yes, they are Modern in one compartment and then Orthodox in a separate compartment. Is this somebody who believes in Sinai and the Torah or somebody who is two people part believer and part denier?

Let us talk about Modern Orthodox people who play the American game and want the highest degrees and the best jobs. How many years does it take to get a doctorate or training in some advanced specialty? We are talking about unmarried people, because until they graduate with all of their required degrees and begin making some good money, marriage is unlikely. The rabbis required marriage at the age of eighteen and no later than twenty. But for the Modern Orthodox person, that is impossible. Getting a master’s degree takes years, and getting a doctorate takes years. A doctor must spend years after he gets his degree doing actual medical work until he eventually is granted his full license to practice. He is not young. His biology has been boiling for years. And yes, he has not been without girls. And they, too, have biology. Since they are Modern Orthodox, the dating is also compartmentalized. Don’t ask for details.

A YU student told me that there are students in the Modern Orthodox YU world who cannot marry but do have intimate relationships that are proper only for married people. The Rebbes in YU spoke out about such people. The very fact that they practice keeping the Mikva and are alone like husband and wife on a regular basis, could possibly create a pesak that they are married. If so, if the woman leaves this man and marries with somebody else, without a GET from the first man, her children are mamzerim. Yes, the hyphen goes a long way. It is terrible.

Now let me tell you a story that happened with me recently, that is quite relevant to our discussion. I spoke to people who are hyphenated Orthodox and I had for them what I thought was a home-run idea. Kiddushin often destroys the wife when the husband won’t give her a GET. So let them marry with Pilegesh, and anyone can leave anytime. I sweetened the pot by saying that when a Kiddushin lady remarries without a GET, her children from the new marriage are mamzerim. In Pilegesh there is no such thing, no mamzerim. I was shocked to realize that my idea was completely rejected. I don’t mean they rejected Pilegesh. They did not. But they rejected the negative information that Kiddushin can produce mamzerim. And the tone of voice was that this was completely wrong to even discuss. I was confused.

But now I am beginning to understand. When a person is two opposites, Modern and Orthodox, he or she is compartmentalized, which is not my invention, but I heard it from others. The part of the hyphenated Orthodox is really Orthodox. But the part that is Modern is completely free to have sinful relations with people who should be married to do certain things. If you talk to that person’s Orthodox side, you see a full fledged keeper of Shabbos and kashruth. But when you talk about anti-Orthodox things that are the property of the Modern, you cannot talk at all about Orthodox sin, so just keep quiet.

I do not believe that everybody who joins a Modern Orthodox Shull or group is compartmentalized. I believe that many of them accept that they are one person and yet are simply too weak to obey the Orthodox teaching as they should. Such a person can readily discuss what he practices and what he does not practice, without hesitation, without inventions, without being two people but being one person. Such a person has a much easier time of considering dropping the hyphenation and becoming completely Orthodox. But the compartmentalized person doesn’t always believe in Orthodoxy, sometimes he is “Modern” and then, the Torah is not important.

When I say that hyphenated Orthodox is in decline, I mean that an Orthodoxy without Torah is a complete farce, and any intelligent person knows that. And although the many hyphenated people and compartmentalized people are firm believers in splitting the brain into two people, such a trick is not strong enough to appeal to people who think normally in terms of one brain and one person and one set of beliefs. Thus, the Modern Orthodox with its opposite brains is a state of impossible confusion, and can only produce more confusion. The hyphenated Orthodox are busy splitting into Modern and then Open. One who reads their material knows he is dealing with people who don’t think straight. This is a formula for division and decline.

Raising Children to be Rich in Torah and Money

by Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

The gemora in Horiyuse 10B tells how the students of Rovo, one of the greatest sages of the gemora, visited him. He asked them if they finished this and that volume of the Talmud and they said they have finished the books. He then asked them if they were wealthy. Rav Popo replied that he was wealthy. Rovo was pleased with this response, because one who is comfortable financially can learn Torah with peace of mind, unlike a person troubled constantly with debt.

We have a gemora quoting Shlomo HaMelech in Mishlei that one should not marry until he  has a house and a good job. See Sota 44a. When we note that in Shulchan Aruch Even Hoezer I:3 it says a man should marry before twenty, and when we find in chazal "an eighteen year old should marry" we wonder where all the money came that an eighteen year old who spent most of his time learning Torah suddenly had money for a house and a good job.

The answer is as follows: A child has no obligation to keep the Torah, because only one who is Bar Mitsvah must keep the Torah. However, the father of the child has an obligation to train the boy for adulthood. Whatever an adult must do the child must be trained for it. If an adult must learn nine hours a day and work three hours a day as the Rambam Talmud Torah I:12  and Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 156:1  tell us, a father must teach his son at a very early age to learn how to earn. Originally, the father makes it very easy, such as telling the son to go to school with some fruit from the farm and trade it with another child who is also learning how to buy and sell. But gradually, the child builds up experience, is trained to rap on doors, finds out the hard way that some people are not honest, and gradually develops under his father's tutelage into a first rate businessman. At the age of Bar Mitsvah he is already learning how to invest his savings into buying property if the price is right, and then he sells is when the price rises. At the age of eighteen he is ready for marriage. He has money for a house and has a going business in various things, real estate, selling things from the farm such as leather, and other opportunities.

Imagine a house where an eighteen year old boy has wealth. How much peace and contentment is in that house. How happy is the wife who can have what she needs and more. How happy are the children of that house, especially when their father begins training them in business, together with their main efforts, in learning Torah. Such a family trains children to be great in Torah and wealthy. This is what the Torah wants from people, if they make the effort and merit it. Because not everyone merits wealth, but it is surely an ideal to strive for.

Some rabbis such as Rabbi Akiva and Rabbi Yehuda the Prince were extremely wealthy. Some were very poor, like Hillel. But how lovely it is to train a child from childhood to aim for wealth, to understand business, and to manage, in a few hours as a child, to establish himself as a successful businessman by the time he reaches marital age.

Children spend hours and hours on having fun. The best fun is to learn to earn and to watch the coins pile up. That brings a family of happiness and blessing.

Question: Do we raise our children to be great in Torah and wealthy? Or do we raise them to be "Great" in Torah, which almost never happens, and when it doesn't happen, a family is in trouble. And if we don't raise a child to earn, and he faces marital age, what hope does he have to have a house and a good job? Is this what Rambam says applies to a person who does not have a house and a good job and marries, that he is a Tipash? Rambam Mishneh Torah Dayose V:11

It is time to think carefully: Are we raising our children to be wealthy and great in Torah, or are we raising them to be Tipshim? Recall the above, that a gemora in Sota 44a clearly forbids marriage without a house and a good job, and this is brought in Shulchan Aruch Oruch Chaim 156:1. Why do so many people ignore open gemoras and poskim? Why, when we see the misery in so many broken families, we don't think into this?

Anyone who wants to discuss this with me can reach me at 845-578-1917 or dddeid@verizon.net.

ממרא זכה שיעשו יהודים מילה

וירא אליו השם

דוד אליהו אידנסון

וירא אליו השם באלוני ממרא פרש"י הוא שנתן לו עצה על המלה. הפשטות שהקב"ה צוה לאברהם אבינו למול והיה לאברהם ספיקות אם לקיים הברית מילה והטעם שמא יאמרו הגוים שהיהדות של אברם למול איש זקן יגרום שאנשים לא יקבלו המצוה של מילה ולא ירצו להיות יהודים.

והנה היה לאברהם ג' חברים ענר אשכול וממרא ומשמע שענר גדול מאשכול ואשכול גדול מממרא א"כ יוצא לנו שאברהם היה לו ספיקות אם למול שלא יאמרו הגוים שיהדות הוא אכזריות שאיש זקן צריך למול עצמו. והסכים לזה ענר ואשכול שהיו גדולים מממרא שהוא האחרון של הג' חברים של אברהם. וגם אברהם היה נוטה לספיקות בענין המילה. שעל כן תימה איך קיבל אברהם מן הפחות של הג' שגם הוא היה נוטה שלא למול מן הטעם הנ"ל ומאס בעצת ג' החשובים וגם בהספק של עצמו בזה וצ"ע.

וגם קשה שהפסוק מתחיל וירא אליו השם ולא אומר השם וירא ה' אל אברהם. וכאילו אברהם איננו אלא וירא אליו השם וצ"ע.

עוד י"ל שעצם הספק של אברהם הוא פלא שהרי אברהם כבר היה בכבשן האש שמאס בע"ז ויצא שלם ולמה בברית מילה שהוא הרבה פחות מן הכבשן של אש היה פוחד מה יאמרו הבריות שהקב"ה תובע מה שאי אפשר לאנשים לסבול.

ובפרט שאברהם אמר הנני עפר ואפר שיצא מן האש והיה ראוי להיות עפר ואפר. הרי שידע שהקב"ה יצילו כמו שהצילו מנמרוד. ולמה בברית פחד שימות או שיאמרו הגוים שהוא מצוה קשה יותר מדאי שאיש זקן ימול את עצמו.

וי"ל שממרא עולה גימ' אפר. וזה בדיוק היה הטענה של ממרא. שאם אברהם כבר יצא מן הכבשן של אש וניצל על ידי שמסר נפשו עבור השם כ"ש שיש לו למות עצמו שאין זו קשה מן הכבשן האש. ולכאורה איך נעלם זה מאברהם ומענר ואשכול שהקב"ה הציל מי שיעשה רצונו אפילו מכבשן האש. ודוקא ממרא הפחות של הג' חברים אמר זה ותיכף נתקבל. והוא לא יובן לכאורה.

אלא י"ל שב' דברים יש וב' דברים יש בק"ש. האחד הוא הפסוק שמע ישראל השם אלקינו השם אחד. והב' עול מצוות. והנה עול השם גדול מן העול של מצוות. שלכן בכשן האש של נמרוד היה סברא שהקב"ה הציל אברהם על ידי שמסר נפשו על ייחוד השם וקיום העול של אמונה בהשם שזה גדול מסתם מצוה. ועדיין אינו ברור שהקב"ה יעשה נס כזה למי שירצה לקיים מצוה בעלמא. שלכן בא ממרא ואמר שגם בקיום המצוות יש לישראל לקיים במסירת נפש יהיה מה שיהיה ואפילו שיהיה אפר ממש ח"ו כדאי הוא לקיים רצון השם לעשות המצוה. ועוד שאם הברית מילה הוא ברית עם השם שהוא דבר גדול מאוד יש לקיימו אפילו במסירת נפש ממש ולהיות ממש עפר ואפר. זהו אילני ממרא שממרא גימ' אפר' שהקב"ה נתגלה עליו במדה זו של ממרא גימ' אפר' לגלות שזכה ממרא להבין הדרך בתורה שלא לבד שיש למסור נפש עבור אמונה בהשם למאוס בע"ז אלא שגם לקיים המילה שהוא מצוה יש למסור נפש.

ומה שפחדו אברהם ואחרים שעל ידי זה יהיה חילול השם שיאמרו שהתורה קשה יותר מדאי אדרבה המוסר נפשו לקיים מצות מילה הוא ראוי לאותו הנס שאירע אצל נמרוד שהלא זה תכלית כל הבריאה שיעשו אנשים אפילו גוים התורה כדאיתא בפסחים פז ע"ב לא הגלה הקב"ה את ישראל לבין האומות אלא בכדי שיתוספו עליהם גרים שנאמר כו'. וא"כ כל התורה וכל ישראל ענינו להוסיף גרים ובודאי שעיקר המצוות כמו מילה ודאי לא יגרום ההיפוך שימנעו גרים ח"ו. זה היה סברת ממרא ונתקבל אצל אברהם.

ומצד השני היות שזאת לא היה מחשבת אברהם אלא של ממרא לא נזכר אברהם בפסוק אלא וירא אליו השם בלי שם של אברהם באלוני ממרא שכל הזכות הוא של ממרא שגילה לכולם סברא זאת שכל יהודי וכל גר צריך להיות בבחינת אנכי עפר ואפר שכן ממרא גימ' אפר'.

והנה באלני ממרא עולה גימ' באלני 93 שהוא חשבון יקוק' אדנ-י עם ב' דהיינו שעבודת השם הוא בהוי' אדנ'. והשיעור לזה הוא ממרא' גימ' אפר' שאמונה בעצמות השם שהוא הוי' אדנ' הוא למסור נפש אפילו על המילה שהוא מצוה בעלמא שעושים המצוות כמו שאברהם היה נכנס בתוך כבשן האש "אפר" לקיים רצון השם. ודוקא על ידי מסירת נפש כזאת זוכים שהקב"ה רצה שלא הגלה ישראל לבין האומות אלא להוסיף עליהם גרים ומדה זו בא רק על ידי מסירת נפש גדול כמו שעשה אברם בזמנו וכמו שעשו צדיקים בכל דור ודור.

What is Pilegesh and Should People Marry with Pilegesh?

Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

What is Pilegesh? And should people marry with Pilegesh?

Pilegesh is a type of marriage mention in the Shulchan Aruch favorably by the Vilna Gaon and Beis Shmuel and Ramo, although some disagree. The Vilna Gaon brings a gemora that clearly permits Pilegesh. On the other hand, we for generations don't hear about people marrying without Kiddushin, and we don't hear about people marrying with Pilegesh.

Originally, almost all Jews respected the person who married with Kiddushin and did not respect the person who married with Pilegesh. Therefore, we don't hear about people marrying with Pilegesh, even though the greatest authorities and an open gemora permit it. But today, I believe, it is time to unlock the gate to Pilegesh. The reason is that today people don't honor Kiddushin as they must. We have prominent rabbis such as Rabbi Moshe Heinemann and Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky who are heavily involved in the effort to "free" women from their husbands with forced and invalid GETS. Shmuel Kaminetsky and his son are involved in getting a married woman to marry without a GET, based upon ridiculous ideas and "proofs." Rabbis Heinemann and Kaminetsky are "mamzer makers" and there are many others.

Here are the rules of marriage as I understand it.

1) Every Jew should marry with Kiddushin.

2) However, Kiddushin is a very strict marriage. The wife when married with Kiddushin can never be free of her husband without a kosher GET, meaning one that is not forced but given willingly. Because so many women are not ready to observe this, but insist on finding a rabbi such as Rabbi Heinemann and Kaminetsky who encourage women to leave their husbands without a kosher GET, we must declare publicly that any man or woman who is not ready to honor Kiddushin is forbidden to marry with Kiddushin. Otherwise, if the woman leaves her husband with an invalid or forced GET, the baby born in her next marriage will be mamzerim.

3) If Kiddushin is forbidden for a Jew, what kind of marriage can he/she have? The only answer is Pilegesh. Of course, some permit marrying with Kiddushin and stipulating that in a few months or few weeks the husband will give a GET. But what if the husband doesn't want to divorce his wife because he likes her? Then the woman has no escape. Unless she refuses Kiddushin and marries with Pilegesh.

4) Again, any Jew who cannot be positive about honoring Kiddushin may not marry with Kiddushin. Nor may such a Jew without Kiddushin remain alone and unmarried, because such a person tends to do terrible sins. Only a real marriage can save a person from terrible sins.

5) Therefore, today when a huge amount of Jews cannot accept Kiddushin, for them we must provide Pilegesh.

6) Pilegesh means that the husband and wife declare in front of kosher witnesses and preferably a Beth Din of three reliable people that they absolutely refuse to accept Kiddushin. They will only live together with Pilegesh and they declare in front of two witnesses that they in their relationship will never consider Kiddushin.

7) This is very important because in a Jewish neighborhood anyone seeing a man and woman living together and practicing the Torah assumes they are married with Kiddushin. If so, if the wife leaves without a kosher GET and remarries, her children are mamzerim, at least in the eyes of those who don't know that they are married not with Kiddushin but with Pilegesh.

8) I would prefer making a ceremony for Pilegesh mainly that they declare before two kosher witnesses who know them, that they are forbidden to marry with Kiddushin because they probably could not withstand the test of living alone without a Kosher GET. And furthermore to live without any marriage leads them to serious sins on a regular basis. Therefore, the proper thing for them is Pilegesh. I emphasize here that it is not necessary to be sure that the man or woman taking Pilegesh are absolutely sure they could not tolerate Kiddushin. The opposite is true. If they are not positive that they will keep Kiddushin all of their life, they are not allowed to take a chance and marry with Kiddushin at all! For everyone like that, the only solution is not singledom chas vishalom, and not taking a chance with Kiddushin, but Pilegesh. Pilegesh don't make mamzerim. And it is crucial that the two marrying in Pilegesh should declare before two reliable witnesses that they a absolutely refuse to accept Kiddushin, under any circumstances. Preferably, the husband and wife making Pilegesh marriage should have two witnesses who know them testify that Kiddushin would be a great test for them that they could possibly fail. Then a Beth Din, hearing this testimony, can declare that the husband and wife is forbidden to make Kiddushin, and is also forbidden to live alone without marriage, and therefore must marry with Pilegesh.

9) The main thing about a marriage of Pilegesh is for the husband and wife to refrain from intimacy or being alone with another man or woman not their spouse. If the husband and wife in Pilegesh violate this the Pilegesh marriage is in violation and Yayvetz demands an end to the Pilegesh marriage. Pilegesh is recognized by the Talmud and the Torah, but it is one way street. If the husband and wife need prostitution, nobody permits this.

10) The Yayvetz at the end of his teshuvo on Pilegesh makes statements some lenient and some strict. If I had to deal with Pilegesh, I might go easy on his leniences and some of his strictness, but even so, I would not get involved with somebody whose marriage features these matters. I would want a pure marriage whose major benefit is that if the husband refuses a GET the woman can leave and remarry. But this, if I was involved with that couple, would be done in a serious manner.

Obama's "Draft America's Daughters" Removed from New Legislation!

TO: Rabbi David Eidensohn

Dear Rabbi Eidensohn

 

We are pleased to send you the news release below, regarding the remarkable election results of Tuesday.

 

President-Elect Donald J. Trump has pledged to restore the strength of our severely depleted and demoralized military. After months of hard work, now we have a real opportunity to push back and win the culture war on our military!

 

More good news: On Monday the Washington Examiner reported that legislation requiring women to register with Selective Service after their 18^th birthday was removed from the Senate version of the FY 2017 National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA). President Obama will not get the chance to sign the problematic "Draft America's Daughters" legislation into law.

 

CMR took the lead in producing a detailed Policy Analysis  that reframed the issue, and spent a lot of time working with congressional contacts, other groups, and individual leaders who resolved to win the fight. Thank you for your help!  

 

We remain concerned about radical policies that Pentagon officials are moving to impose on our military before President Obama leaves office. Number one on the list is Defense Secretary Ashton Carter's controversial plans for transgenders in the military.

 

Again, CMR has taken the lead in analyzing recently-released Pentagon directives that will affect far more people than the tiny minority of persons who are confused about their sexual identity. This is a new CMR Policy Analysis of the issue, which we posted just before the election:  

• CMR: Defense Department Orders Acceptance of Gender Identity Delusion 

The good news here is that these policies can be revoked by the incoming Trump Administration. That will not happen, however, unless we insist on it.

 

We have a lot of work to do before and after the Trump Administration Inauguration in January. More than ever, CMR needs your help to have a direct influence on what happens next during the transition and beyond.

 

Because CMR is a small organization with a huge mission, your personal contribution will make a big difference, especially now.

 

If you support CMR's work, please consider helping us with a generous, tax-deductible contribution through our secure website. Please click on the DONATE button here:
You can also help by visiting, "liking," and sharing articles on the CMR Facebook page, linked here and by following CMR on Twitter.

 

 The news release below indicates that we have much to be grateful for. Thank you for your continuing support, and best wishes for a wonderful Fall season. 

Why are All Songs of the Prophets to be Negated in the Future other than MIZMOR LISODA?

בש"ע אורח חיים סימן נא' סעיף ט' וז"ל מזמור לתודה יש לאומרה בנגינה שכל השירות עתידות ליבטל חוץ ממזמור לתודה עכ"ל ולכאורה הוא פלא שכל השירות שאמר דוד המלך ושאר הנביאים יתבטלו והלא נאמרו ברוח הקודש מפי צדיקים ולמה יתבטלו?

ובטור ובית יוסף מובא מן המדרש רבה ויקרא כמדומה ט' ז' על זה אבל עדיין הענין פלא למה יתבטל מה שנאמר ברוח הקודש מפי נביאים וצדיקים. ומה נשתנה מזמור לתודה מכל הזמירות ששר דוד המלך שכולם יתבטלו?

וי"ל שחייב אדם לברך על הרע כמו שהוא מברך על הטובה. ובכל זאת בעולם הזה הצער שיש לאדם גורם לו שהוא אומר הברכה להשם עבור הצרות רק בדרך אמונה ולא מרגיש היטב השמחה. שאצלו ושכלו הכל צער אלא שבאמונה הוא אומר ברכתו להשם ולא בדרך שכל שאין זו תהלה שלימה. אבל לעתיד לבא מזמור לתודה שהתודה יהיה מזמור ממש שלעתיד לבא יזכה כל אדם להשיג שכל מה שעשה הקב"ה הוא באמת לטובתו ושראוי על פי השכל שלו לשיר זהו מזמור לתודה שהמזמור שזוכים עכשיו להבין בשכל שכל הצער שקיבל בעולם הזה הכל היה לטובתו ממש והוא שמח לא בדרך אמונה לבד שאין זו שמחה שלימה אלא ו

בשמחה שלימה שהוא משיג ממש שהצער היה לטובת

When marriage with Kiddushin is wrong and what is to be done about it

When Kiddushin is Wrong

by Rabbi Dovid Eidensohn

Kiddushin is the holy mitsvah that prepares Klal Yisroel for children with holy souls. A marriage without Kiddushin is missing a key element in Kedusho. Kiddushin is from the word Kodosh and the level of the marriage, its ceremonies and participants, creates the level of the marriage and the progeny.

But there are people who should not have Kiddushin. Yes, Kiddushin is the source of all family holiness, but Kiddushin also a problem. When somebody marries and cannot tolerate the strict rules of Kiddushin and ends up doing great sins, the Kiddushin may have caused it. Therefore, some people find holiness in Kiddushin, and some people the opposite.

When a marriage doesn't work out well and one person wants a divorce and the other person refuses, we have problems. A man may seek HETER MAYO RABBONIM, but a proper one is a major undertaking and probably expensive. But a woman has no escape. Therefore some women just give up Yiddishkeit until they get a GET. Such people who cannot tolerate the rules of Kiddushin should never marry with Kiddushin in the first place. But what can they do if they are Torah Jews and cannot tolerate Kiddushin?

I recently had long discussions with some people about this problem. I feel it is a mitsvah to let people know exactly what the halacha parameters are. 

One who is not prepared for traditional marriage with Kiddushin, which is hopefully a life time venture, has some possible alternatives, which he must discuss with his Rov, as these ideas have pros and cons.

First, one may marry for a short time, and the couple agrees that it will last so long and then end in a GET. This is not sinful and was done by rabbis of the gemora. But in the world of today, it is something that nobody heard of. So if somebody does it he runs the gauntlet of severe criticism which is no fun. The big problem in this is if the man likes the woman and wants to stay married and she wants a GET and the husband refuses. That is a real mess and the woman is stuck. Even if the husband wants a GET and the wife refuses, and the husband seeks HETER MAYO RABBONIM, it is very difficult and could be very expensive, although some people claim they can do it faster and cheaper than others.

Secondly, a person can date here and there, knowing how challenging it is to find somebody to marry. Who is he fooling? Every day a man or woman is alone and has a healthy sexual drive, he is playing with fire. And many people get burned.

Therefore, once a person is married with Kiddushin, they are married and only the death of the husband or wife or a proper GET divorce will end the marriage. A prominent Rov told me that he was given a video of people in a prominent Torah community switching wives with other married men.I told this to somebody and he laughed at me, saying that he knows of a bungalow colony established so that people can switch wives. I hope it is all a mistake. Maybe. But what if it is not a mistake?

I have had calls and visits from people who are not ready for Kiddushin but cannot be alone. Now, that is a problem.What can such people do?

The first thing such people must do is to stop and think, and think carefully. Think about what? What we want to do here is to say some shocking things about the Torah community. Yes, there are many terrible divorces. Yes, there are many ruined children. Yes, there are very few really prominent rabbis. Yes, there are a large number of people who play rabbi who don't follow the Shulchan Aruch and the poskim. But these are facts. What is there to think about them?

We want to do two things. One, to show the mistakes people make in their lives, in their marriages, in their families, in their Yeshivas, in their serving HaShem. And then, we want to show them what the Torah, the Talmud, the teachings of the great rabbis, had to say that can make a difference for a person who is thinking carefully.

Now, the need to teach all Torah people what the Torah really says has nothing to do with people who can't accept Kiddushin or can accept it. It applies to all Torah Jews and to all people. Therefore, we must spend some ink on two topics, one, what the Torah really tells us how to live and serve G-d and our needs, and two, a deeper discussion of people who cannot marry with Kiddushin and related issues. But let us add here a few quick teachings that will subsequently be elaborated, to make us realize once and for all that the train is going in the wrong direction and that is why marriage, family, and people in general are missing our and even suffering. A major part of our discussion will be about money. Happiness is the key to success. Much money can create a selfish monster or it can create a loving family of kindness. But money is not the problem, it is how we relate to money and how we spend it.

Let us begin.

The Rabbi Who Demanded Wealth for His Students who were Great Scholars

What? A rabbi demanded wealth from his students who were great scholars? If they were great scholars, it meant that the learned Torah constantly. How did they become wealthy?

First of all, who do you think that rabbi was? And who were his students?

What if I told you that the rabbi was a great Talmudist? What what would you say that if it was Rovo perhaps the greatest of his generation and a mighty scholar of Talmud? And his students? One was Rav Popo, who followed Rovo to be a senior great.

Question: How in the world can somebody who is devoted to learning Torah, to be truly outstanding and great in Talmud, become wealthy?

Second of all: Are you ready to seek wealth? Maybe you just don't believe what I just said. But this is a clearly taught gemora in Horiuse 10b. There is no question that it is completely true. So why are you and so many others running away from wealth? But when do you have time to learn Torah, take care of your family, and become wealthy?

Another question: The Talmud says that many great Talmudists were very wealthy. Rabbi Akiva, perhaps the greatest of them all, had extraordinary wealth, money that he had absolutely no need for, and yet, after many great enrichments, he decided he needed more and hired a diver to find something interesting in the sea. It turned out to be a box filled with treasure.What, more and more and more wealth? Rabbi Akiva?!

Rabbi Akiva's rebbe was Rabbi Eliezar the Great, who was also wealthy! So was Rabbi Yehuda the Prince, the greatest of his time. Elijah the Prophet would attend his lectures regularly. Rabbi Yehuda wrote the Mishneh which is the Talmud, and his Mishneh was later developed into discussions on the Mishneh known as Gemora.

Rabbi Tarfon also a teacher of Rabbi Akiva was very wealthy.

Another question. The Mishneh in Avoth tells us that marriage is for people seventeen or eighteen, and that waiting for twenty to marry is too long.

Article from Washington Post - Obama meets military people who criticize him

ty issues during a town hall on CNN. (CNN)

By Greg Jaffe September 28 at 9:00 PM 

FORT LEE, Va. — Military personnel and veterans challenged President Obama, often aggressively, on his refusal to use the phrase “Islamic terrorism,” his decision to open combat jobs up to women and the performance of the Department of Veterans Affairs at a town hall meeting here Wednesday.

Obama was at this Army base near Richmond to take part in a military-focused special that aired Wednesday night on CNN. The cable network selected questioners who were respectful but who reflected a military population that is more conservative than the population as a whole and generally skeptical of the president’s performance as commander in chief over the past eight years.

Obama’s appearance came on the same day he announced that he was sending 600 more troops to Iraq, a war that the president thought he had ended when he withdrew U.S. forces from the country in late 2011. The additional forces will boost the number of U.S. troops in Iraq to just more than 5,000, ahead of an Iraqi-led offensive on Mosul planned for the coming weeks.

Obama emphasized that Iraqi forces would do the vast majority of the fighting, while U.S. troops would provide air support, logistical help and advice. “They are engaging in a fight that is dangerous,” Obama said of the U.S. troops in Iraq. “We are grateful for their sacrifice, and I never forget it.”

 Military widow Donna Coates holds a flag given to her after her husband's death during a town hall meeting with President Barack Obama at Fort Lee. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

At a time of deep political polarization in the United States, White House officials have sought to use the town hall format to put the president in front of audiences that disagree with him.

The latest CNN town hall followed that pattern from the opening question, in which an Army chaplain asked Obama why there had been “a substantial increase in terror attacks around the world” since he took office.

Obama challenged the premise, saying that the number of terrorist attacks worldwide had not “substantially increased,” despite some recent high-profile attacks in the Middle East and Europe. At home, the president said that military operations, better policing and improved intelligence had made the country safer.

A mother whose 19-year-old son was killed in Baghdad in 2007 pressed Obama more directly on the subject, asking him, “Why do you still refuse to use the term ‘Islamic terrorism’?” Obama countered that he did not want to conflate murderous terrorists with “the billion Muslims . . . who are peaceful, who are responsible, who in this country are our fellow troops.”

An active-duty Marine officer challenged the president’s decision to open combat jobs to women, saying that studies conducted by the Marine Corps showed that such units performed “notably worse” and that women “suffered staggeringly higher rates of injury.”

“Why were these tangible, negative consequences disregarded?” she asked.

Obama said that he had not acted out of political correctness and noted that women have been fighting at great risk in Iraq and Afghanistan for more than a decade. “I want to make sure our starting assumption is that if you can do the job, you should be able to get the job,” he said.

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 President Barack Obama holds a town hall meeting with members of the military community hosted by CNN's Jake Tapper, right, at Fort Lee in Virginia. (Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

A mortuary affairs officer, who oversees a unit that recovers the bodies of soldiers killed in combat, asked Obama about the decision by some National Football League players to protest police shootings of black men by kneeling during the national anthem. Obama said that he both recognized the importance of the anthem to military families and respected the right of Americans to protest.

“Part of what makes this country special is that we respect people’s rights to have a different opinion,” he said.

Among the toughest questions he fielded was one from a woman who said her husband had waited a year for an appointment from VA. When he finally saw a doctor, his cancer was misdiagnosed and not treated.

“First of all, my heart goes out to you,” Obama said. He then said that he had increased the VA budget by 85 percent over the course of his presidency but that there was more work to do.