Underlying the great wars over coerced divorces is the gender war. Today, society is not prepared to accept that women don't have the rights of men. When the woman want a divorce and the husband refuses, if we look into the Shulchan Aruch we usually find that the husband cannot be coerced. But today this is, even in religious circles, not acceptable. Even rabbis who do incredible and ridiculous things to "free" a woman to have mamzerim and niuf may be influenced by the fear that if women are treated shabbily they may give up Yiddishkeit. And that is no remote fear. Yes, they are wrong. But while we say what it says in the Shulchan Aruch is permanent, based as it is on solid halacha sources, we also must deal with the gender war. And we must do his for two reasons. One, we want to prevent mamzerim. And two, because we want to know the facts. Who is superior? Male or female? It would seem from society in general, and from physical attributes, and some say mental attributes, that men are superior. Women are weaker than men physically. And in the Torah we find that men dominate. Is that the end of the story? Let's see.
Let''s begin. The first Jews were Avrohom and Soro. They argued over Yishmael. HaShem said to Avrohom, "All that Soro tells you hearken to your voice." Rashi explains, "This shows that Avrohom was inferior to Soro in the power of prophecy." What does this mean? That Soro was greater than Avrohom? So then why do we mention Avrohom in the first prayer of the Amida and not Soro? We must remember this question as we go on to the next Jewish generation, with Yitschok and Rivka.
Yitschok wanted to give the birthright to Aisov, who was wicked, but Rivka intervened and saved the Jewish people. Furthermore, she had a prophecy to do this that Yitschok did not have. What would have happened if Jews would be led by Aisov?
The next generation was Yaacov and four wives, two of them sisters, Leah and Rochel. Yaacov didn't like Leah and loved Rochel. And yet, the great tribes of Israel and the majority of Jews come from Leah. From Rochel came Yosef who almost destroyed the Jewish people, with his fights with his brothers, and whose descendents took the Ten Tribes of Israel away from Judah and introduced paganism until they were conquered and exiled.
Let us go down to the time of Moshe. How was he born? His father, the greatest rabbi in the world divorced his wife because Jewish boys were being killed by the Egyptians. His little daughter Miriam protested, "Father, Pharaoah decrees on boys and you decree on everyone. Now no Jews will be born and we will disappear." Her father obeyed her and took back his wife and Moshe was born. Who took care of Moshe and saved hiim? Miriam. And who actually saved Moshe? Basyo, the daughter of Pharaoh. Thus, we see the great man destroying the Jews and the daughter of Pharaoh saving the Jews.
When the Jews left Egypt with great miracles the men took swords prepared to fight and the women took musical instruments out of faith in HaShem that He would save them from the Egyptians. When the Egyptians drowned with great miracle the men stood and said a praise of HaShem, but the women, led by Miriam, formed a circle and danced and sang with musical instruments. Not long afterwards, the men worshipped the Golden Calf but not the ladies.
In Jewish history, most leaders, including Moshe, had great misery with the Jewish people. The exception is a woman, Devorah, who was a Judge, leader in battle, and prophet. During her lengthy rule the Jews behaved perfectly. The only flaw in all of this is that her name is Devorah that means a "Bee." It would seem that Devorah and Chulda another prophet who was a woman were named after creatures such as a bee and a mole because being a woman in the house is a much higher level than being a prophet in the street, as "all honor of a woman is inside the home."
At any rate, who is superior? Thus, we have a great problem. If women are consistently superior to men, why are they not the rabbis and the leaders? Not only that, but we make a blessing "who has not made me a woman." Now, that sounds pretty contradictory. To understand, we come to the Diminishing of the Moon at the earliest week of Creation. It was then that the (female) Moon asserted herself and demanded that the (male) sun be diminished. Then the sun and moon were both equal in light. HaShem replied, "Go and diminish yourself." The moon was very upset about this and HaShem tried to pacify her and failed. So HaShem said, "Bring an atonement for Me because I diminished the Moon."
I don't know if we can understand this in this world. But basically, the Moon is the female force of DIN or justice. The sun is the male force of kindness. A world of DIN or justice would punish the wicked immediately. Thus the universe would shine with Kiddush HaShem. But Rashi tells us that to subject the world to DIN would destroy it. Therefore, HaShem brought in kindness. But this kindness allows the wicked to prosper. For this the Moon protested and HaShem agreed, but this is how the world would be. It would be a world filled with evil and Chilul HaShem. And it would be a world where those who honored HaShem in the darkness would achieve great reward in the Future World. The Jews were "diminished" and lived with exile and suffering. Women were diminished. And the Jews and women are closer to heaven and the Future World because of this.
Therefore, the gemora says that women are easily accepted in the Higher World but not men. One who is diminished in this world easily merits the other world, but not the reverse. Thus, the suffering of women in this world is part of being diminished, a status that brought them, even in this world, to a special level.
The Torah begins with בראשית and the Zohar says that בראשית spells בית ראש meaning "The House is First." The Torah begins with the idea that the Torah begins with Bayis, or house, where the woman is dominant. She raises the children. But when she goes into the street like the man she loses her level.
Only in the other world will be truly understand the suffering of Israel among the nations and women relative to men. In the meantime, HaShem has an offering brought for His decision to diminish women and with that His own Honor.
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