Three Chapters from the Book Problems and Solutions by Dovid Eidensohn

6 - The Strangest Story in the Talmud? HaShem Battles the Moon!

            Actually, the story that I will quote from gemora Chulin 60b is much stranger than what I wrote in the title here. I wrote here “HaShem Battles the Moon!” Yes, that is true, as the gemora there describes the battle in detail. But the real strangest story is the conclusion of the gemora there where HaShem, having failed to convince the Moon to do what He wanted, then declares, “Bring for Me an Atonement because I made the Moon small.”

We now quote the above gemora, and will add explanations where appropriate.

Gemora Chulin 60b: “Rabbi Shimon bar Pazai asked, ‘It is written that, ‘Elokim made the two large luminaries.’ And it is written, ‘The large luminary and the small luminary.’” The problem is very simple. First the Torah tells us that HaShem made two large luminaries, meaning they both were large. Then it is written “The large luminary and the small luminary.” This means that only one luminary was large and the other luminary was small. As we will soon see, the two luminaries were the Sun and the Moon. HaShem decided to make the Moon small as we will see.

The Moon said to HaShem, Master of the Universe! Is it possible for two kings to share the same crown? He said to her, Go make yourself small. She said to him, because I uttered before you a proper statement I must make myself small? He said to her, Go and rule over day and night. She said, What is the benefit? Of what good is a candle in the daytime? (HaShem said) Go and the Jews will count because of you days and years. She said, Days also cannot be counted other than by mentioning seasons as it is said ‘And they will be for signs and holy days and for days and for years.’ (HaShem said) Go, and the pious will be called your name Yaacov the Small, Shmuel the Small, David the Small. He saw that she was not satisfied. HaShem said, Bring for Me an atonement that I made the moon small. As Reish Lokish said, Why is the Goat Offering of Rosh Chodesh unusual that it says “for HaShem”? HaShem said, This goat will be an atonement for Me because I made the moon small.’”

First of all, what kind of chutzpah does the Moon have to argue like that with HaShem? And if the Moon does have such terrific Chutspah, why does HaShem tolerate it? Assuming that the Moon is an angel, what angel can make demands of HaShem like that? And what angel gets away with it? And what angel succeeds in making HaShem admit that since He disagreed with the Moon He must bring an atonement every Rosh Chodesh?

This brings us to the beginning of the Torah, and the story of Creation. In the Chumash we find “In the beginning ELOKIM created the heaven and the earth.” HaShem’s Name is ELOKIM, the Name of Justice, which is also a female name. Later on, much later, suddenly the Torah reverses itself, and starts all over with the Creation story, but this time HaShem is HaShem ELOKIM. HaShem is masculine and kindness, and ELOKIM is female and justice. What does this mean? The Torah was dictated by HaShem, and did He change His mind?

So we have Justice and Kindness ELOKIM the Name for Justice, and HaShem the Name for Kindness. And we have a female name ELOKIM for rigid justice. And we are greatly confused by all of this going here and then reversing. This is, after all, HaShem’s Torah.

We come now to a point where we must define what HaShem’s plan was in all of this. There had to be a plan behind the various Names and why first this one and then that one. When the second Name was introduced, what happened to the first Name? We want answers.

The answer is as follows. The Creation is a Creation of humans who are not angels. A human is not an angel, and we find at the act of Creation that the angels opposed the creation of humans. If HaShem wants them, what Chutspah do the angels have to oppose it?

The answer is as follows. There are three levels for human beings in the Torah. One, is rigid justice. A world of rigid justice does not tolerate sin. If ELOKIM would be the standard of creation anyone who sinned could disappear. It would be a repeat of the Flood when the world was wiped out leaving only one family of righteous people, Noah and his family.

But less we reject rigid justice, we must understand that HaShem is insulted when He created a world of sinners. That world is Chilul HaShem. The angels who have no inclination to sin are also insulted when HaShem created a world filled with sinners. If the Moon wanted to dominate over the Sun, she was simply reflecting respect for HaShem, that a creation filled with sinners, as it is and as it has always been, is a Chilul HaShem. If she had Chutspah to argue with HaShem, it was Chutspah to save the world from sinners and to promote rigid justice that would not tolerate sinners.

Thus, we have a clash that seems to have no solution. If there is rigid justice, we have a situation that could easily result in wiping out most people because most people are not perfectly righteous. If we on the other hand seek kindness, we promote a world of sin. What is the solution?

The solution is a gemora in Avoda Zoro beginning 4b and going into 5a. The gemora asks how it is possible that King David who stated that his heart is so pure that evil cannot influence him, and then he goes and kills a husband and steals his wife. That is probably the greatest sin ever done. How did that happen? The answer, says the gemora as Rashi explains, is that HaShem wanted it to happen to teach everyone that no matter what sin you do, if you repent HaShem will accept it. Again, the purpose of the world is not perfect justice. It is not a world full of sinners. It is a world filled with sin but containing the capacity of Teshuvo, which is the purpose of Creation.

Having said that, should we all go around killing husbands and kidnapping wives and then doing teshuva? HaShem selected the highest level of humanity, which was King David and the Jews at Sinai, as the gemora teaches, and had them sin, although they were not at all interested in sinning do to their very high level. But the world learned from these great people who sinned by the will of HaShem, that people should never despair of penitence and Teshuva. Teshuva is the purpose of the world.

Having said that, what happens to ELOKIM and rigid justice? Do we declare a vacation for such things? If here and there a perfectly righteous person appears, Mordechai of Megilas Esther, and the Chofetz Chaim, should we be disappointed, chas vishalom?

Now everything seems to fall into an order we can understand. The Torah begins with a lengthy discussion of Creation as an act of ELOKIM, rigid justice, the female Name. But once established, and once we understand that of course HaShem is sanctified when perfectly righteous people exist, and a world requires such people. We don’t want a world where no perfectly people exist. The catch is that when most people do sin, we don’t reject them, because of the Creation of Teshuva, as we explained.

Thus, the perfectly righteous are happy. The rest of us who do sins maybe every day, have teshuva. Ultimately, there is hope for everybody. Yes, there is hope even for the Moon. HaShem made her small, because rigid justice is a threat to most if not almost all humans. But HaShem accepted the complaint of the Moon because He surely desires a place for the few perfectly righteous. They are not second class citizens. HaShem emphasized His preference for the perfectly righteous even though most people can’t reach this level, by declaring that once a month a sacrifice be brought for Him, for HaShem, for allowing a world that defies the standards of the perfectly righteous. By bringing a sacrifice of atonement, HaShem encouraged the great level of penitence, as the gemora above in Avoda Zora teaches, that the greatest Jews had to sin to prove the value of penitence. So, yes, HaShem created a world that begins with ELOKIM and the perfectly righteous. He then took step two to give the sinners a chance, which really means that He gives those who do teshuva a chance, because that is the only hope for the vast majority of humankind. And to establish this, HaShem declared that He would also repent, to encourage everyone who is not perfect, the vast majority of people, not to be ashamed because if they were ashamed they would not repent. Thus, the penitent are proud because if HaShem repents why can’t everyone repent? And in a world where the few perfectly righteous are honored, because that is the ideal, but for those who sin there is teshuva and HaShem backed them up, we have a world filled with people happy with their levels and determined to serve HaShem with joy.

7 - A Husband or Wife without a Functioning Marriage

The Hebrew version of this is:

ולשון הרמב"ם פרק טו' מהלכות אישות וז"ל מצות חכמים היא שלא ישב אדם בלא אשה שלא יבא לידי הרהור עכ"ל ובמגיד משנה שם מביא המקור להרמב"ם מגמרא יבמות סב ע"ב וז"ל שאין אדם רשאי לישב בלא אשה עכ"ל

Translation is: Rambam Chapter 15 of the Laws of Marriage says, “The rabbis have decreed that a man should not be without a wife lest he come to sinful thoughts. The Magid Mishneh there brings the source of the Rambam in the gemora Yevomose 62B, “A man is forbidden to live without a wife.” Let us understand that the Rambam and the Magid are not saying that if a man has a wife and they have no intimacy that this is okay. It is not okay. It means that a man has a functioning marriage where there is regularly intimacy as taught in the Shulchan Aruch and gemora. But if a wife wants a divorce and the husband refuses to give her one, even if they continue to live in the same house, the husband has no intimacy nor does the wife. This can cause both of them to find intimacy with another person who is forbidden to them and if they do this they are doing a horrible sin.

Let us now bring the Hebrew version of our next teaching:

והנה מי שאין לו אשה  והוא צעיר לימים יש לו לחוש שיכשל בזרע לבטלה ח"ו. ובש"ע אבן העזר סימן כג' סעיף א' וז"ל אסור להוציא שכבת זרע לבטלה ועון זה חמור מכל עבירות שבתורה ע"כ ובסעיף ב' וז"ל אלה שמנאפים ביד ומוציאים שכבת זרע לא די להם שאיסור גדול הוא אלא שהעושה כן בנידוי הוא יושב ועליהם נאמר ידיכם דמים מלאו וכאלו הרג הנפש.

This means “one who has no wife and he is young we must fear that he will sin with zera livatao chas vishalom. In Shulchan Aruch Even Hoezer chapter 23 paragraph 1 we find, “It is forbidden to take out zera livatolo and this sin is greater than all sins in the Torah.” In paragraph 2 there it says, “And those who with their hands take out zera livatolo not only have they performed a great sin but who does this is in nidui and regarding such people it is said, “your hands are filled with blood, and it is as if they killed a person.”

We must clarify something at this point. When the Torah was given to Moshe and the rabbis wrote the Talmud it was permitted for a man to have more than one wife. It was also possible for a man to divorce his wife even if she refused the divorce. But today because of various newer laws it is forbidden to have more than one wife and to divorce a wife without her consent is also forbidden. If so, a husband who has reached a point with his wife that he cannot have regularly intimacy with her, either because she refuses or because he does not want to be with her, we have a crisis. Biology is burning for a young person, and it doesn’t go away for many years until the person is really old, and even then, who knows if anybody is really cleansed of the biology. If so, the only solution is a good marriage. If a person is unable to have intimacy but the marriage is good, things may be fine. But especially with younger people, any marriage with no functioning intimacy and nothing to calm the fire of the biology, what hope is there to be saved from serious sins?

There are today thousands of people without a proper protection from their biology. Many people divorced and cannot remarry for whatever reason. Many people can marry but are reluctant because of the many problems in marriages today, the gender war, etc. Many people delayed marriage until it got to the point that they could only marry by accepting somebody much older or much different than the person they always planned to marry. Such people can wait and wait and wait until they find what they always wanted, but it is not easy to find somebody you wanted in your youth when you are much older.

This is a crisis and it is only getting worse. The gender wars, the fears, the lack of proper guides for many people, yes, it is a crisis and it is only getting worse.

We have, in his book, revealed various problems in the Torah world. We have also suggested various solutions. Let us try now to make something of a list of the problems and a list of solutions. If we believe strongly in the Torah and the Shulchan Aruch, and we associate with people who agree with this approach to Torah and life, we have a way to deal with crisis. But if we don’t believe strongly in the Torah and the Shulchan Aruch the way the Chofets Chaim and earlier generation believed in them, we have no tools to stand strong to solve the problems.

This is going to bring us to the next section of the book, Heel and Happiness – the Secret of Success. We are going to discuss about people who believe in the Shulchan Aruch the way we should believe in it, and are outnumbered. And yet, there is hope and more than hope.

8 - Heel and Happiness – the Secret of Success

Devorim 7:12 “And it will be when you keep the laws of these commands and guard them and fulfill them, then G‑d will fulfill for you the covenant and the kindness that He swore to your fathers.” The Orach Chaim, a major commentary on the bible, asks why this passage was written with the two unusual beginning words. The passage should be written “And if you keep the laws…” Instead it adds two words והיה עקב which in Hebrew translate to “and it will be because of (your hearkening to the commands)”. The Medrash explains that the word “HEEL” is there to teach that G‑d promises protection only to Jews who do not grind the Torah into the ground with their heel.

I hear alarm bells. What Jew steps on the laws of the Torah as one grinds something in the dirt with his heel? Some Jews obey and some Jews are too busy to obey. But a Jew who believes in the Torah doesn’t grind a command down with his heel. Furthermore, if the condition for G‑d to protect the Jews is the fact that the Jews don’t grind the Torah down into the dirt, that should be extremely easy to fulfill. What Jew would do it and if there was a Jew who did it, and people knew about it, we can be sure that the Jew would never do it again and most likely would do penitence for his hideous mistake. The real alarm bells sound because the Torah was not written for people who have to be warned not to ground the Torah into the ground with their heels. Something is very, very wrong. Of course, there is nothing wrong with the Torah. But the Vilna Gaon says that when the rabbis want to say something secretive they write it in such a way that many people will think it is just foolishness. This exactly fits the tee. But what secretive thing is there in this passage? (The Vilna Gaon’s teaching is in the third volume of the Zohar page 73, that heavenly sources are of two varieties. Some are revealed and understood. And some are not understood until a person merits to achieve the secret message in it.)

Let us look carefully at the lengthy discussion of the Orach Chaim HaKodosh in this matter of the HEEL. We must be careful to find something very problematic. If it is a normal passage we are wasting our time. I think I found it. The Orach Chaim is chugging along on the basic idea of the word heel and nonchalantly tosses in the fact that there is a Mishneh that uses the word heel. The Mishneh is talking about IKVISO DIMESHICHA which is Aramaic for “footsteps of the Messiah.” Okay. Fine. Heel means Moshiach. Pretty basic. Nothing exciting. And that is not what I am looking for. So out

comes the gemora and the Mishneh, and guess what. Pay dirt! Big time. The Mishneh is talking about

the most hideous sins the Jews ever saw or even heard about. And this period, just prior to Moshiach, is called “footsteps of the Moshiach” using the word AIKEV which really means “Heel.”

Now we are ready to load up the cannons and know what the secret of the passage is. IKVISO DIMESHICHA means the “footsteps of the Moshiach,” at least, that is the phrase. Does the phrase suggest the quick arrival of Moshiach? If it does, we are wasting our time. We must find something that is the opposite of what we are thinking. Then it may be the secretive passage that we want to find.

Now, pay attention. IKVISEH DIMESHICHA means “footsteps of the Moshiach.” But does it suggest the quick coming of Moshiach? Absolutely not. It is talking about the complete opposite. It is talking about the worst sins Jews ever did or heard of. Is that connected with Moshiach? How in the world can Moshiach come when Jewish children insult their parents? If “one’s enemies are his family” can Moshiach be right around the corner? Let us not forget the teaching of Eliyohu HaNovi in the first page of his teachings Tono Divei Eliyohu, that “the Tree of Life” is Torah, but Derech Erets, respect for people, and surely respect for parents, is more important. If there is a common thread among the many hideous sins listed in that Mishneh about Ikviseh Dimeshicha, it is that Derech Erets is dead. What does that mean regarding Moshiach?

For that, we have the final passage of Malachi the last book of the prophets. “Behold I will send to you Eliyohu the Novi, before the great and fearful day of HaShem. And he will return the hearts of the fathers to the sons, and the hearts of sons to their fathers. Lest I come and destroy the world.”

The task of Eliyohu the Novi is to restore Derech Erets, to undo the terror of the period of Ikviseh Dimeshoch when Derech Erets was destroyed. Pay attention now. We are getting into some delicate terrain. Number one, Eliyohu the Novi is not known to be standing on the mountains announcing Moshiach these days. The destruction of Derech Erets is the mood of Ikviseh Dimeshicha, meaning that Moshiach will only come with a period of the destruction of Derech Erets. How can Moshiach come in a time when Derech Erets is basically dead, when the rulers of the world deny G‑d, and the other hideous things mentioned in that Mishneh at the end of Sota happen? This is the exact question which blocks us from understanding why the Orach Chaim HaKodosh quotes this Mishneh about Ikviseh Dimeshicha along with “heel” of the passage in Devorim which is supposed to teach us happiness about a perfection in Torah that runs from the head to the feet or the heel. This seems to be an insurmountable problem, precisely the type of problem we need to reach deep into it and find the “secret” suggested by the Vilna Gaon in such passages.

I have it, and it is in that very Mishneh at the end of Sota, but it is a passage that can easily confuse most people. Therefore, we are going to have to borrow the teaching of the prime disciple of the Chofetz Chaim, Reb Elchonon Wasserman of blessed memory, to fix it. And then we have our secret.

The passage comes after a long list of misery of dead rabbis, of the decline of the Torah, etc., and etc. The passage really fits the mood of the Mishneh, which is a hideous mourning from top to bottom. A passage in this mourning appears several times, “And we have nobody to turn to other than our Father in heaven.” This passage seems appropriate for despair. There is nothing to do and nobody great enough to deal with the problems. It is all over. That is how the passage reads at first glance. But we know that in our search for the secret we have to dig deep and find it. And the one who did this was Reb Elchonon Wasserman. He said, “We have nobody to rely upon to help us other than our Father in heaven.” It seems to say that nobody can or will help us. And if the world is so inclined to insult parents and do all of the other hideous sins and destruction of Derech Erets mentioned in the Mishneh, why should HaShem help us? Isn’t He the one quoted at the end of Malalchi who threatened that if Derech Erets was not fixed He would completely destroy the world and kill everyone in it? He is the last person to trust to save the world when the world has utterly destroyed Derech Erets, and we await the destruction of the entire world and everyone in it. But Reb Elchonon insisted that despair is not the meaning of the passage “And we have nobody to rely upon other than our Father in Heaven.” Rather, “there is nobody to rely upon other than our Father in Heaven” means that in a world swarming with the worst sins and evil, our Father is waiting for the few individuals who still worship Him properly. And for them He will save the world and bring Moshiach.

But, how can He help us when He has clearly threatened to destroy a world without Derech Erets? And Ikviseh Dimeshicha is clearly a world without Derech Erets.

Something is missing. And we have to find it. It is the word “HEEL.” Why is this the key to the secret we search for? Look carefully at the commentary of the Orach Chaim HaKodosh there and he mentions that the correct purpose of והיה עקב is as follows: VIHOYO means “You will be happy” why? Because HEEL means that from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet, the heel, you are serving HaShem. Now the secret is right around the corner.

To understand, we must tell another story about the Chofetz Chaim and one of his top students, who learned intensely with Reb Elchonon for years. I refer to the Ponovitcher Rov, a great builder of Torah in Israel. The Ponovitcher Rov was originally from Europe and then he went to Israel. While in Europe and studying intensely with Reb Elchonon Wasserman under the Chofetz Chaim, the Ponovitcher became very close to the Chofetz Chaim. Once, after he had become a prominent Rov of a city, he sensed that the people in his city were determined to drive him away and get a new Rov who was a modern person. He came with his problem to the Chofetz Chaim who told him, “When two armies battle to conquer a city, and somebody who does not join the winning army may be severely punished, one must join the strongest army.” The Ponovitcher Rov was stunned and he asked, “Should I become modern?” The Chofetz Chaim relied, “HaShem is the strongest one.” Join his army.

The Ponovitcher Rov learned this lesson well. When Rommel may his memory be blotted out, was just outside of Israel and ready to break through and kill every Jew there, the Ponovitcher Rov was busy building a Yeshiva. Somebody asked him about this and he replied, “If I build a Yeshiva and somebody tears it down, it will nonetheless be rebuilt.” Rommel didn’t come and the Ponovitcher Rov completed his Yeshiva. Maybe the fact that there were people there in Israel who had no fear of the Germans but only of HaShem helped to make the miracle of the defeat of Rommel.

Okay, let us spell out the secret. The secret is: When the world is filled with wicked people, the worst, and HaShem notices that here and there are people who are turning to him despite the majority of deniers and wicked people, He thinks about them first as they think about Him first. Therefore, there is hope. These people are the “Heel” connected to the head that connects to HaShem, and He will not neglect His special children.

The Gaon Reb Aharon Kotler came to America which was a place for people who want to make money not Torah. The rabbis in America were paid good salaries to provide services with one condition: if they saw somebody drive on Shabbos they were not allowed to make an issue of it. This was the treifeh medinah; the money was good, but behave.

Reb Aharon requested an appointment with the senior rabbis to present his ideas about what to do in America. The appointment came and Reb Aharon presented his ideas how to transform America into a Torah world. The rabbis listened and when Reb Aharon had finished the senior rabbi said, “Reb Aharon. We are in charge here. You go to Israel and teach in the Yeshiva of your father-in-law, Reb Isser Zalman Meltser.”

What could Reb Aharon say in reply to that? If he yelled at the rabbis, he ruined things. If he said nothing, he was ruined. But don’t forget, that Reb Aharon came to the treifeh medinah with faith in and the backing of HaShem. That rabbi who insulted Reb Aharon died on the spot. I heard this from Rabbi Dov Eisenberg who received Semicha from Reb Aharon. Reb Dov was from German extraction, and he went regularly to college to learn how to make a living. He often took Reb Aharon with him to New York on his way to college. It is quite possible that he himself saw this miracle. But even if he did not see it personally, if Reb Dov said something, it was solid. We will soon talk about the one rabbi in America who stood side by side with Reb Aharon to battle the rabbis. He was Reb Shraga Feival Mendelowitz, the head of Yeshiva Torah ViDaas. His son Reb Shmuel was the Rosh Yeshiva in Monsey of Yeshiva Beis Shraga named for Reb Shraga Feival Mendelowitz the head of Yeshiva Torah ViDaas.

We are getting to the secret. Reb Aharon trusted completely in HaShem. And it worked. That was the passage in the Mishneh about Ikviseh Dimeshecha that says, “And we have nobody to turn to other than our Father in Heaven.” This means, said the Chofetz Chaim’s major disciple Reb Elchonon Wasserman, not as some understand that we should despair. It means the opposite. We should not despair, because if we trust in HaShem, even if the whole world is evil and is exactly what the Mishneh talks about that sons insult their fathers and daughters insult their mothers, which means the collapse of Derech Erets, the few people who keep faith in HaShem will save the world.

That is, the prophet Malachi closed the prophetic teachings with the sentence “Behold I send to you Eliyohu the Prophet, before the arrival of the great and awesome day. And he will restore the hearts of fathers to their sons, and the hearts of the sons to their fathers, lest I come and destroy the entire world.” Eliyohu has not yet arrived, and the world is filled with evil, and the destruction of Derech Erets. Why then does HaShem not destroy the world as He has pledged to do? That is because of the few people like Reb Aharon who fulfilled the passage “There is nobody to turn to other than our Father in Heaven.” When we turn to Him, we will save the world, and ourselves.

When a Jew like Reb Aharon comes to a world like America, where the senior rabbi brutally insults him and tells him to leave the country, what hope is there? Seemingly, there is no hope. But Reb Aharon went to that meeting with faith in HaShem. When all hope is lost; when Derech Erets, something greater than Torah, is lost, what hope can there be? A few people who trust in HaShem completely will take the light of HaShem into the treifeh Medinah, battle the “rabbis” to the end, and succeed.

“And it will be when the Heel is aroused” all of the blessings will come to be. The Heel is the connection from HaShem to the head of the tsaddik who is complete in his faith down to his heel. He knows and fulfills what HaShem wants of him. And every inch of the tsaddik is tightly connected to HaShem, and HaShem is tightly connected to the tsaddik. Then, the corrupt world will feel the holy light of heaven and miracles will take place. Evil will be destroyed and Torah and Derech Erets will be restored.

This is the idea behind “and it will be” a change from the evil in the world to the efforts of the tsaddik who has pure faith in HaShem. HEEL, the one who connects his soul and his head to the feet that do the work. The feet go here and there and fight tooth and nail to destroy evil with the light of heaven blazing down from HaShem who never leaves the tsaddik who trusts in Him. Then a few righteous people will see miracles and bring about the changes necessary for Moshiach. That is the secret.

Above I quoted from the Vilna Gaon the idea that when we find a strange passage in the Torah or the Talmud, it seems out of place, but that is a hint that it hides a deep thought, a secret. I don’t know where this is brought in the Vilna Gaon, although it is well known that he said it. However, I think it is based upon a Zohar III:73A “There are three worlds connected one to the other: HaShem, Torah and Israel. And each one of these is a world upon world hidden and revealed. The third level is Israel, divided into two worlds, hidden and revealed, Yisroel and Yaacov.” The Zohar says that Yaacov is the lower revealed level for Jewry and Yisroel is the higher but hidden world. These are the words it uses to describe the higher hidden world, “The rules and the judgments for Yisroel: these are the mysteries of the Torah, and the rules of the Torah, and the secrets of the Torah.”

Thus, we were right to seek secrets when faced with the questions posed by the Orach Chaim HaKodosh that seemed strange but surely hid great secrets. The secret we revealed is the secret of haShem finding the few trusted righteous who merit to bring Moshiach. Such a great secret!

This book is about Problems and Solutions. The Problems are that today the major rabbis in America violate the Torah in the worst way, by making babies into mamzerim when they force divorces on husbands or tell women to leave their husbands with no GET at all and remarry and have mamzerim. I know of no way to stop this. But this I know. HaShem is stronger than these “rabbis” and the women who follow them. Trust in HaShem and fight back, as small or great a punch as you can manage, but fight, and you will see happiness even in such a world, the Ikviseh Dimishicho. HaShem is waiting for you and the few who fought back because they know there is somebody to trust in and to obey, even in such a terrible time. This is the ultimate test and it is the ultimate reward. It is a time to choose where you will go.

the Jewish founding family husband and wife and Kabbala about male and female

#4a- Israel – the Founding Family Man and Wife

The greatest Jews were the first three who founded the Jewish nation, Avrohom, Yitschok and Yaacov. They all married. Who was greater, Avrohom or his wife Soro? Who was greater, Yitschok or his wife Rivka? Yaacov or his wives Rochel and Leah?

Beraishis 21:12 features an argument between Avrohom and Soro regarding Avrohom’s son Ishmael whose mother was Hagar. Soro wanted him expelled from the family and Avrohom wanted to keep him. HaShem intervened and told Avrohom, “Everything that Soro tells her hearken to her voice.” Rashi explains, “Hearken to her voice, to her Ruach HaKodesh. We see from this that Soro was a greater prophet than Avrohom.” What would have happened to the Jewish nation if Avrohom would have kept Ishmael? We would be a nation of Arabs. Soro realized that but not Avrohom.

Now we come to Yitschok and his wife Rivka. Who was greater? Yitschok and Rivka had twins. Rivka had great pain from them before they were born. She went to ask the prophet Shem to explain and he told her that she had twins, two brothers who will quarrel about who will control the Jewish nation. He concluded, “The older son will serve the younger son.” The two sons were the oldest Aisov (Esau) and the younger Yaacov. Would the Jewish nation be led by Aisov, a wicked person whose wives were pagans, and who attacked women, or Yaacov who spent his time learning Torah?

When Yitschok became very old and weak, he decided to assign Aisov, Esau, his eldest son who was very careful to honor his father, as the leader of the Jews. But Rivka knew that the prophecy from Shem was that the younger son, or Yaacov, would lead the Jewish people. So she commanded Yaacov to trick his father and get the blessings, which he did. Now, what would happen to the Jewish people if Esau, the rapist, whose wives were pagans, would control the Jewish people? Rashi in Beraishus 26:34 tells us that Aisov raped women for forty years and then married a woman who was a pagan. What would happen to the Jews if Aisov would have been the leader of Israel? But Rivka saved us from this, even after Yitschok tried to bless Aisov. Who was greater?

Yaacov had various wives, mainly Rochel and Leah, but there were also two other wives of lesser stature so that Yaacov had four wives. His main and most beloved wife was Rochel, and he was tricked into marrying Leah and he was unhappy with her. The Torah says that he hated her. (Ber. 29:31) Eventually, Yaacov by mistake caused the death of Rochel who had only two children, and most of his sons, the major ones, came from Leah.  Levi and Yehuda, the tribe of priesthood and monarchy came from Leah, as did the Torah tribes of Yisoschor and Zevulun (Yisoschor studied Torah and was supported by Zevulun who went to foreign countries to make the money to support him and Yisoschor.) (Ber.29) So who built the Jewish people? Rochel who had two sons, or Leah, who had the major tribes of Levi and Yehuda, the tribes of priesthood and monarchy, and Yisoschor, the tribe of Torah, and Zevulun who sailed to foreign capitals to find the money to support the Torah tribe of Yisoschor?

It is important to note that Leah was hated. The hated person ends up the mother of the tribes of monarchy, priesthood and Torah. The beloved Rochel is cursed by Yaacov mistakenly and dies. That is something to notice. Yes, men have power and glory and women don’t. But what does that mean? What does it really mean?

Another point: The hideous story of Joseph being sold by his brothers was clearly caused by Yaacov, who treated Yosef very specially and created great envy from the other brothers. But let us leave it at that. We have established that the first and founding generation of Jews succeeded despite the men and because of the women. That says a lot.

The Jews were led out of Egypt by Moshe and they crossed a water that dried up for them and then the water returned to kill the Egyptian army chasing the Jews. When that happened, the women took music instruments and danced with joy, but the men did not dance and they did not play musical instruments. The men took weapons from Egypt to enable them to fight the Egyptians. The women took musical instruments from Egypt because they trusted in G‑d to protect them from the Egyptians. And HaShem did save them from the Egyptians. The men who brought swords had no use for them because G‑d killed out the Egyptian army that had come to take the Jews back to Egypt.

The women were led by Miriam. Moshe led the men in reciting a song of praise for G-d’s miracle, but we don’t find that they danced, or had musical instruments.

This was Miriam whose father divorced his wife and Miriam told her father, “Pharaoh has decreed on Jewish boys to kill them. But you decree no marriage and thus no children, not boys and not girls.” Her father remarried her mother and Moshe was born. Who saved Moshe when he was cast into the river in a tiny boat? It was Miriam who approached the daughter of Pharaoh and arranged for Moshe to be a ward of the daughter of Pharaoh. Here the men went backwards and the ladies went forward. Who was greater?

Another thought. Many great prophets and judges rose up to serve the Jewish people. But only one had a perfect record. It was Devorah, a woman, who was the judge, the leader in war, and the head of the Jewish people.

To jump forward a bit, I grew up in Baltimore where my mother’s family lived. I recall that somebody in Baltimore once said, look at the difference between men and women, meaning, in Baltimore. This means, the non-Orthodox Jews. It seems that when men wanted to join an organization and meet new people, they would join a gentile club. But the woman would join a club serving Israel or another Jewish service. We have established from the above that women are superior to men in many ways.

4-The Kabbala of Male and Female

We will now enter a Kabbalistic study of male and female, and the teachings of the Ari z”l and Reb Moshe Chaim Lutsato, known as Ramchal, a very great Kabbalist.

Let us take a look at Shir HaShirim, Solomon’s Song of Songs. The work is very hidden. We know however that it is about love of a man and a woman. The second passage is “Let him kiss me from the kissing of his mouth.” Strangely, we have no idea who “him” is. He has not been introduced.

Passage three “The scent of your good oils, your name is poured oil. That is why the young lasses love you.” This is very strange. A woman who seems to be in love with a man tells him that the young lasses love him. Why should she, a woman in love, tell her lover of others who love him?

Perhaps we could answer that “The scent of your good oils” is an ordinary thing, because oil is supposed to give off a lovely scent. But “your name is poured oil” is something else. A name is poured oil? What does poured oil off have to do with a name? But the woman in love tells her lover that his power is such that his name itself arouses strong feelings in all of the young lasses. Furthermore, she tells this to him without fear that he will leave her and find a young lass. Her love is strong and his love is strong, so there is no fear of either one looking for another person to love. But the woman arouses her husband’s love for her by letting him realize that her love is perfect because his love is perfect, and that his level is so elevated in that regard that young ladies swoon at the mention of his name. This is surely a wonderful love for any man. But to have his female partner mention this tells us something special.

The fifth and sixth passage have the woman describe herself as black, and various shades of black. That is, passage 5 has the woman describing herself as black. Passage six has her calling herself extremely black, and she calls out, “Do not see me as I am extremely black, for the sun has blackened me…”  She begins a complaint about how “the sons of my mother caused this to me, and they made me guard the vineyards but my vineyard I did not guard.” Can it be that a mother would allow one of her children to be blackened and disgraced? And those who did this to blacken a sister, do they have no feelings for a sister?

Note that a mother is a female. The black lady is a female. Those who created the blackness are men. The men make sure that they have a slave, the daughter of the mother. So powerful are the men children of the mother that the mother can do nothing to protect her daughter from turning black with the slavery imposed by the sons of the mother.

The next passage, 7, introduces the male, the lover of the female who is black. He ignores her problems and speaks lovingly to her. He begins his remarks, “Tell me, she who loves my soul, how do you pasture, where do you crouch in the afternoon, because why should I be as one who goes from place to place to the flocks of your fellows?” There is no trace of anything but love. There is no trace of anything negative. What happened to the travail of blackness?

Who is this male? Why does he ask her for her address so that he doesn’t have to travel all over to find her? Doesn’t he know where she lives already if he is greatly in love with her?

See the commentary of the Ari z”l on the second passage in Shir HaShirim, “Let him kiss me from the kisses of his mouth.”  It seems that the Shir HaShirim is a story of the love of HaShem and the Schechina, which is the love of HaShem and Klal Yisroel. And yes, the Schechina suffers “blackness” and other things, and yet, this does not disrupt the love of HaShem and the Schechina, nor does it disrupt the love between HaShem and the Jews. Furthermore, just as the Schechina in this song of Solomon suffers blackness and other suffering, so do the Jews. They are a people of suffering. But the Shechina suffering and Klal Yisroel suffering are still united closely with HaShem, with all of the pain they endure.

The Schechina is a divine property, very close to HaShem, higher than any mortal can be. And yet, the female level of divinity suffers terribly. We discussed before her cries that she is black and even very black. Understand it or not, she is Schechina and suffers. The Jews are also a holy people very close to HaShem, and they, the holiest nation, suffer more than other nations. It seems that the female level of high holiness and the Schechina, and also the Jewish people, have a role in great holiness but that role is somehow connected to suffering. We turn now to the Kabbala teachings of Rabbi Moshe Chaim Lutsato.

Rabbi Moshe Chaim Lutsato is not only one of the greatest Kabbalists, but his book on simple improvements to our behavior is a very famous classic that is owned by nearly every Torah Jew. This is what he says about our topic, the fact that a holy female Sefira seems to have much suffering. See in his Kabbala classic Adir Bamorom (in my volume it is on page 119) he writes, “You must know that all things found in this world must have a source in the Sefirose, and even the deeds of mortals, otherwise they could not exist.” If so, if this world is comprised of male and female, and there are male and female Sefirose, we assume that one is rooted in the other. Thus, if the female Sefira of Schechina is the source of females in this world, both of them likely share how women relate to men. We know in this world men seem to be the powerful and famous gender and the women are weaker and tend to suffer more than men, and this matches exactly what we see in Shir HaShirim about the misery of the Schechina who is blackened and complains bitterly.

Having said that, we must continue with the Shir HaShirim and its passages about the male and female Sefrose, or sacred worlds that relate directly to the male and female of this world. The Kabbalistic female is the lowest world or the Sefira of MALCHUSE. The Kabbalistic male are the holy worlds above MALCHUSE.

Passage seven in Shir HaShirim is the end of the many passages of the problems of the female and her relation to the one she loves. Now the male talks and he knows nothing about her problems and her blackness, only love for her. It seems he can’t locate her and wants her to tell him where she is, otherwise, he will have to skip and jump here and there to find her. Now, if the male is a sefira, which is a very holy even divine property, why can’t it locate the Schechina or MALCHUSE who is also a divine property?

Here we see a very important revelation about the heavenly and this world relationship between male and female. Even in heaven, in the realm of holy Sefirose, the male suffers because his love, the Schechina, is somewhere he cannot locate. He needs her to tell him where she is. Does she call him up or send him a telegram? It doesn’t tell us that. But for our purposes, we have established the suffering of the higher sefirose as both male and female. And as Rav Moshe Chaim Lutsato already told us, that what happens in this world and what happens in the Sefirose are similar, because this world cannot exist without the forces that come to it from the sefirose. Thus, this world and the sefirose are similar. The female of the Kabbala as a Sefira called MALCHUSE suffers and so do women in this world.

Now we are at a point where we must know exactly what the situation is with the male and female in the higher world of sefirose, because they are the source for what happens in this world. We turn once more to the work of Rav Moshe Chaim Lutsato, Adir Bamorome, on the same page we are previously, page 119 in my edition.

We come to an incredible teaching. We know that there are ten stages in Kabbala. The highest level is KESER and the lowest level is MALCHUSE or Schechina. There are also ten Sefirose. There are higher and lower levels in both. We assume that number 10 comes first and is next to level 9, which is close to level 8, down to the bottom. If so, Malchuse or Schechina is at the bottom of the count, the farthest from the highest worlds. But Rav Moshe Chaim Lutsato turns everything upside down. He says that Malchuse, the bottom female level, is quite close to KESER the highest level. Keser is such a holy level so close to HaShem that we are not allowed to describe it and we cannot understand it at all. How could such a super holy sefira be very close to Malchuse?

The problem is worse than that. It seems that KESER number 10 is remote from Chochmo father, number 9, because father is afraid of Keser. But it seems that the bottom level which is Malchuse is not at all afraid of KESER. See on page 3 of Adir Bamorome an explanation of this: “HaShem wanted a connection between the higher lights and people in this world. So that the deeds of people can reach to the higher worlds. And for this to take place HaShem created the MALCHUSE with the power to rise and fall according to the deeds of people.”

Thus, if we assume as before that mortal women of this world and the female of higher worlds are similar, and we accept that MALCHUSE was designed to be a conveyor of mortal deeds to the higher sefirose, even to KESER, we see that MALCHUSE and KESER are together. This is stated clearly on page 119 of Adir Bamorome, namely that there is a deep relationship between KESER and MALCHUSE. He writes, “The MALCHUSE rises to the high KESER, and the secret of the matter is that KESER is only the higher lights that rests upon the lower…and behold, the connection for KESER is with the MALCHUSE, and this is a great secret with the covert statement of ‘I am first and I am last.” (Yeshayeh 44:6) …The power of the higher lights to rest upon the lower creations is with the hidden power of MALCHUSE. And this begins with the very beginning of reality. Afterwards is revealed that which is necessary to sustain the MALCHUSE. And when Malchuse comes down she is the secret of KESER itself. For from her goes forth all of the rest [which is necessary for the lower worlds]. And the hidden level of this is KESER MALCHUSE.”

This means as follows: The MALCHUSE receives the deeds of mortals, good and bad. It sends them to the higher world and to KESER. At that point, the very highest world of AIN SOFE is aroused and pours down into the lower holy worlds and this finite world a response to those forces sent earlier to the higher worlds above MALCHUSE.

We conclude our study of male and female with the following:

1)    The Talmud and the Written Torah make it clear that women historically, in biblical times, were superior to men. We explained this above, such as the Rashi that says clearly that Soro the wife of Avrohom was superior to him in prophecy.

2)    The Talmud makes it clear that greater is the trust of women in HaShem than the trust of men. This is also discussed above with the source.

3)    In our Kabbalistic study we find that the female level of Schechina was designed to have all of the deeds of mortals organized to be shot up to the higher holier worlds. They reach to Keser and beyond, to the world higher than Keser which is AIN SOFE. The AIN SOFE then takes the deeds of mortals, the good and the bad, and sends them down to the bottom of the Sefirose, or MALCHUSE. From MALCHUSE the deeds are distributed to this world. 

4)    The female MALCHUSE has much evil in it because it is where the deeds of people good and bad are deposited and then shot up to the higher worlds. The MALCHUSE has evil and suffering, and this is the “blackness” of Shir HaShirim, among other sufferings mentioned there.

5)    Since the levels of this world and the levels of the higher worlds are equal, when women suffer in Kabbala in the higher worlds, as MALCHUSE or SCHECHINA do suffer, we must therefore understand that women in this world also suffer. And just as MALCHUSE suffers and yet because of her suffering she ends up shooting the affairs of this world to KESER and above KESER to AIN SOFE, and because AIN SOFE shoots these lights back down to MALCHUSE, we see the greatness of the female in this world and the next. We do not find that the male levels such as Father or the six levels above MALCHUSE are close to KESER. Only MALCHUSE is. Thus, the female suffers but this brings her to a level higher than the male, as the gemora says, “Greater is the trust and confidence of women than that of men.” They belong in the highest worlds, not the men. This is based upon the reality that women are DIN or justice and men are CHESED or kindness. DIN has suffering but CHESED or kindness is the opposite of suffering.

Selections from R Eidensohn's new book Problems and Solutions chapter 3a and 3b. Regarding male and female and superiority of female

#3A-Wife Wants GET Divorce, Husband Refuses

In ancient times, based on the Torah of Sinai and the Talmud of latter generations, a man had the privilege of marrying many women as long as he could provide for each of them a proper marriage. This meant that the husband would have intimacy with each of them on a regular basis and supply their basic needs. Furthermore, a husband could divorce his wife even if she refused it. But in more recent times, great rabbis ruled and these rules were accepted by the vast majority of Jewry, that a man may not marry more than one woman. Furthermore, a man may not force a divorce on his wife.

Another important matter to be introduced here is the issue of marriage with Kiddushin. Nearly all Orthodox Jews are married today with Kiddushin. Kiddushin means that the husband acquires his wife when he gives her a ring or a valuable, or if he gives her a marriage document and she accepts it, or if the two have marital relations in order to marry with it. The marriage requires two Orthodox male witnesses to see the marital ceremony or to assume that of course there was the act of marriage when that is appropriate. For instance, if the marriage is activated with Biah, the witnesses do not see it directly but they know enough to assume strongly that it took place.

From the above it is obvious that men have a better portion than women in family. A woman is “acquired” and she belongs to the husband. She cannot leave the marriage without a GET given by the husband to her willingly.  But the basic marriage ceremony is accepted by both husband and wife. Usually, that is a wise decision, when we live in a time when the marriage lasts. But in recent times, or when there are serious problems in the marriage, either husband or wife can want to leave the marriage, but the various rabbinical decisions inhibit and limit this ability.

Today there is a crisis in gender issues. There is a war between men and women. Nowhere is this struggle more revealed than when the woman wants a divorce and the husband refuses.

First things first. We want to discuss here male and female in marriage. And we want to understand why it is so unequal. If this rule was created by the Torah, we want to understand it. If we do not understand it, does that mean that a woman must feel inferior to the man? This is a critical question.

If we dance around the issue we have a problem when the morning blessings include for men the words, “Who has not made me a woman.” Women say “who has made me as He willed it.” At this point, we can do one of two things. One, we can accept it and assume that women are inferior, for whatever reason. Or, we can insist on doing better than that, and know exactly what the Torah means by this inferiority. But who is going to do that? I will.

That sounds very brave or maybe something else. But, I will put up or shut up. I am very happy for you to be as critical as you like. In my favor I will say that I studied intensely under the greatest sages in the world in the revealed and hidden law. My rebbes were Geonim Reb Aharon Kotler, Reb Moshe Feinstein, Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashev and other gedolei hador. I have a very strong semicha from Reb Moshe Feinstein who said in his approbation for my book on halacha that “I know Rabbi Eidensohn for many years as one who delves deeply into complex Torah questions.” From the Gaon Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashev zt”l I received permission to be a Poskek of a Beth Din in Gittin using his name. My rebbe in this world and the next is the Kabbala genius of Jerusalem, Rabbi Dr. Shmuel Toledano, and I will not fear to talk about the Kabbalistic teachings of gender.

I want to give myself one more compliment before I get to work on what I said. I was once on a radio show talking about something terrible. Somebody called up and criticized me for that. But after a full dose of criticism, she suddenly said, ‘But your children are nora (awesome).” They got that way because of my wife, and when I spent a long time every Shabbos talking about Torah, it was usually directed at the level of superiority of women. The children benefitted from that, and today, my children are heads of large and important schools. One of them is international.

Okay, time to get to work.

#3b-The Torah Teaches the Superiority of Woman

The gemora in Berochose 17A says, “Greater is that which HaShem promised to women than what He promised to men,” as it is said (Yeshaya 32) “Confident women, rise up and hearken to my voice; daughters who trust, hearken to my words.” Rashi explains that when the prophet called out to women and said that they were trusting and confident, it meant that this was a special quality of women. The gemora thus learns that women were greater than men in trusting and having confidence in HaShem.

A man has power and does not need so much to trust and to be confident in HaShem, but the woman does. This level of the woman requires her to trust in HaShem and to maintain a confidence in Him even when this world is not hospitable.

This quality is crucial. People who have everything and don’t need to trust and be confident because they are already happy with their lot are missing out on the great level of trusting Hashem and being really confident in Him even when such seems remote. Thus, the Jewish people are always getting exiled and killed and who knows what. But even in the darkest moments, they turn to HaShem. So many stories are known about Jews in the camps of Hitler. One said he felt the years in the camps that it was one long Yom Kippur. I prefer the regular Yom Kippur, but his level is a trust and confidence in HaShem that powers him to a totally new dimension. I always say, “When I come to the Other World they will say, ‘What did you bring here? What great deeds did you do?” And I will say, “I ate two bowls of cholent every Shabbos.” And they will say, “Well, how does that match up with so and so who was tortured for four years in the camps and he hid his tephilin and wore them regularly?”

Yes, the people who are ready for the other world are those who are completely removed from it. They saw Gehenum in this world, and the next world will be the opposite. And those who had pleasure in this world, what can they expect, two pleasures for both worlds, for what?

Male and Female: Are Women Superior?

The Torah Teaches the Superiority of Woman

Rav Dovid E. Eidensohn - 845-578-1917 – eidensohnd@gmail.com

The gemora in Berochose 17A says, “Greater is that which HaShem promised to women than what He promised to men,” as it is said (Yeshaya 32) “Confident women, rise up and hearken to my voice; daughters who trust, hearken to my words.” Rashi explains that when the prophet called out to women and said that they were trusting and confident, it meant that this was a special quality of women. The gemora thus learns that women were greater than men in trusting and confidence in HaShem.

A man has power and does not need so much to trust and be confident in HaShem, but the woman does. This level of the woman requires her to trust in HaShem  and to maintain a confidence in Him even when this world is not hospitable.

This quality is crucial. People who have everything and don’t need to trust and be confident because they are already happy with their lot are missing out on the great level of trusting Hashem and being really confident in Him even when such seems remote. Thus, the Jewish people are always getting exiled and killed and who knows what. But even in the darkest moments, they turn to HaShem. So many stories are known about Jews in the camps of Hitler. One said he felt the years in the camps that it was one long Yom Kippur. I prefer the regular Yom Kippur, but his level is a trust and confidence in HaShem that powers him to a totally new dimension. I always say, “When I come to the Other World they will say, ‘What did you bring here? What great deeds did you do?” And I will say, “I ate two bowls of cholent every Shabbos.” And they will say, “Well, how does that match up with so and so who was tortured for four years in the camps and he hid his tephilin and wore them regularly?”

Yes, the people who are ready for the other world are those who are completely removed from it. They saw Gehenum in this world, and the next world will be the opposite. And those who had pleasure in this world, what can they expect, two pleasures for both worlds, for what?

Israel – the Founding Family Man and Wife

The greatest Jews were the first three who founded the Jewish nation, Avrohom, Yitschok and Yaacov. They all married. Who was greater, Avrohom or his wife Soro? Who was greater, Yitschok or his wife Rivka? Yaacov or his wives Rochel and Leah?

Beraishis 21:12 features an argument between Avrohom and Soro regarding Avrohom’s son Ishmael from Hagar. Soro wanted him expelled from the family and Avrohom wanted to keep him. HaShem intervened and told Avrohom, “Everything that Soro tells her hearken to her voice.” Rashi explains, “Hearken to her voice, to her Ruach HaKodesh. We see from this that Soro was a greater prophet than Avrohom.” What would have happened to the Jewish nation if Avrohom would have kept Ishmael? We would be a nation of Arabs. Soro realized that but not Avrohom.

Now we come to Yitschok and his wife Rivka. Who was greater? Yitschok and Rivka had twins. Rivka had great pain from them before they were born. She went to ask the prophet Shem to explain and he told her that she had twins, two brothers who will quarrel about who will control the Jewish nation. He concluded, “The older son will serve the younger son.” The two sons were the oldest Aisov (Esau) and the younger Yaacov. Would the Jewish nation be led by Aisov, a wicked person whose wives were pagans, and who attacked women, or Yaacov who spent his time learning Torah?

When Yitschok became very old and weak, he decided to assign Aisov, Esau, his eldest son who was very careful to honor his father, as the leader of the Jews. But Rivka knew that the prophecy from Shem was that the younger son, or Yaacov, would lead the Jewish people. So she commanded Yaacov to trick his father and get the blessings, which he did. Now, what would happen to the Jewish people if Esau, the rapist, whose wives were pagans, would control the Jewish people? Rashi in Beraishus 26:34 tells us that Aisov raped women for forty years and then married a woman who was a pagan. What would happen to the Jews if Aisov would have been the leader of Israel? But Rivka saved us from this, even after Yitschok tried to bless Aisov. Who was greater?

Yaacov had various wives, mainly Rochel and Leah, but there were also two other wives of lesser stature so that Yaacov had four wives. His main and most beloved wife was Rochel, and he was tricked into marrying Leah and he was unhappy with her. The Torah says that he hated her. (Ber. 29:31) Eventually, Yaacov by mistake caused the death of Rochel who had only two children, and most of his sons, the major ones, came from Leah.  Levi and Yehuda, the tribe of priesthood and monarchy came from Leah, as did the Torah tribes of Yisoschor and Zevulun (Yisoschor studied Torah and was supported by Zevulun who went to foreign countries to make the money to support him and Yisoschor.) (Ber.29) So who built the Jewish people? Rochel who had two sons, or Leah, who had the major tribes of Levi and Yehuda, the tribes of priesthood and monarch, and Yisoschor, the tribe of Torah, and Zevulun.

It is important to note that Leah was hated. The hated person ends up the mother of the tribes of monarchy, priesthood and Torah. The beloved Rochel is cursed by Yaacov mistakenly and dies. That is something to notice. Yes, men have power and glory and women don’t. But what does that mean? What does it really mean?

Another point: The hideous story of Joseph being sold by his brothers was clearly caused by Yaacov, who treated Yosef very specially and created great envy from the other brothers. But let us leave it at that. We have established that the first and founding generation of Jews succeeded despite the men and because of the women. That says a lot.

The Jews were led out of Egypt by Moshe and they crossed a water that dried up for them and then the water returned to kill the Egyptian army chasing the Jews. When that happened, the women took music instruments and danced with joy, but the men did not dance and they did not play musical instruments. The men took weapons from Egypt and the women took musical instruments from Egypt. The women were led by Miriam. Moshe led the men in reciting a song of praise for G-d’s miracle, but we don’t find that they danced, or had musical instruments.

This was Miriam whose father divorced his wife and Miriam told her father, “Pharaoh has decreed on Jewish boys to kill them. But you decree no marriage and thus no children, not boys and not girls.” Her father remarried her mother and Moshe was born. Who saved Moshe when he was cast into the river in a tiny boat? It was Miriam who approached the daughter of Pharaoh and arranged for Moshe to be a ward of the daughter of Pharaoh. Here the men went backwards and the ladies went forward. Who was greater?

Another thought. Many great prophets and judges rose up to serve the Jewish people. But only one had a perfect record. It was Devorah, a woman, who was the judge, the leader in war, and the head of the Jewish people.

To jump forward a bit, I grew up in Baltimore where my mother’s family lived. I recall that somebody in Baltimore once said, look at the difference between men and women, meaning, in Baltimore. This means, the non-Orthodox Jews. It seems that when men wanted to join an organization and meet new people, they would join a gentile club. But the woman would join a club serving Israel or another Jewish service. We have established from the above that women are superior to men in many ways.

The Kabbala of Male and Female

We will now enter a Kabbalistic study of male and female, and the teachings of the Ari z”l and Reb Moshe Chaim Lutsato, known as Ramchal, a very great Kabbalist.

Let us take a look at Shir HaShirim, Solomon’s Song of Songs. The work is very hidden. We know however that it is about love of a man and a woman. The second passage is “Let him kiss me from the kissings of his mouth.” Strangely, we have no idea who “him” is. He has not been introduced.

Passage three “The scent of your good oils, your name is poured oil. That is why the young lasses love you.” This is very strange. A woman who seems to be in love with a man tells him that the young lasses love him. Why should she, a woman in love, tell her lover of others who love him?

Perhaps we could answer that “The scent of your good oils” is an ordinary thing, because oil is supposed to give off a lovely scent. But “your name is poured oil” is something else. A name is poured oil? What does poured oil off have to do with a name? But the woman in love tells her lover that his power is such that his name itself arouses strong feelings in all of the young lasses. Furthermore, she tells this to him without fear that he will leave her and find a young lass. Her love is strong and his love is strong, so there is no fear of either one looking for another person to love. But the woman arouses her husband’s love for her by letting him realize that her love is perfect because his love is perfect, and that his level is so elevated in that regard that young ladies swoon at the mention of his name. This is surely a wonderful love for any man. But to have his female partner mention this tells us something special.

The fifth and sixth passage have the woman describe herself as black, and various shades of black. That is, passage 5 has the woman describing herself as black. Passage six has her calling herself extremely black, and she calls out, “Do not see me as I am extremely black, for the sun has blackened me…”  She begins a complaint about how “the sons of my mother caused this to me, and they made me guard the vineyards but my vineyard I did not guard.” Can it be that a mother would allow one of her children to be blackened and disgraced? And those who did this to blacken a sister, do they have no feelings for a sister?

Note that a mother is a female. The black lady is a female. Those who created the blackness are men. And the men make sure that they have a slave, the daughter of the mother. So powerful are the men children of the mother that the mother can do nothing to protect her daughter from turning black with the slavery imposed by the men sons of the mother.

The next passage, 7, introduces the male, the lover of the female who is black. He ignores her problems and speaks lovingly to her. He begins his remarks, “Tell me, she who loves my soul, how do you pasture, where do you crouch in the afternoon, because why should I be as one who goes from place to place to the flocks of your fellows?” There is no trace of anything but love. There is no trace of anything negative. What happened to the travail of blackness?

Who is this male? Why does he ask her for her address so that he doesn’t have to travel all over to find her? Doesn’t he know where she lives already if he is greatly in love with her?

See the commentary of the Ari z”l on the second passage in Shir HaShirim, “Let him kiss me from the kisses of his mouth.”  It seems that the Shir HaShirim is a story of the love of HaShem and the Schechina, which is the love of HaShem and Klal Yisroel. And yes, the Schechina suffers “blackness” and other things, and yet, this does not disrupt the love of HaShem and the Schechina, nor does it disrupt the love between HaShem and the Jews. Furthermore, just as the Schechina in this song of Solomon suffers blackness and other suffering, so do the Jews. They are a people of suffering. But the Shechina suffering and Klal Yisroel suffering are still united closely with HaShem, with all of the pain they endure.

The Schechina is a divine property, very close to HaShem, higher than any mortal can be. And yet, the female level of divinity suffers terribly. We discussed before her cries that she is black and even very black. Understand it or not, she is Schechina and suffers. The Jews are also a holy people very close to HaShem, and they, the holiest nation, suffer more than other nations. It seems that the female level of high holiness and the Schechina, and also the Jewish people, have a role in great holiness but that role is somehow connected to suffering. We turn now to the Kabbalist teachings of Rabbi Moshe Chaim Lutsato.

Rabbi Moshe Chaim Lutsato is not only one of the greatest Kabbalists, but his book on simple improvements to our behavior is a very famous classic that is owned by nearly any Torah Jew. This is what he says about our topic, the fact that a holy female Sefira seems to have much suffering. See in his Kabbala classic Adir Bamorom (in my volume it is on page 119) he writes, “You must know that all things found in this world must have a source in the Sefirose, and even the deeds of mortals, otherwise they could not exist.” If so, if this world is comprised of male and female, and there are male and female Sefirose, we assume that one is rooted in the other. Thus, if the female Sefira of Schechina is the source of females in this world, both of them likely share how women relate to men. We know in this world men seem to be the powerful and famous gender and the women are weaker and tend to suffer more than men, and this matches exactly what we see in Shir HaShirim about the misery of the Schechina who is blackened and complains bitterly.

Having said that, we must continue with the Shir HaShirim and its passages about the male and female Sefrose, or sacred worlds that relate directly to the male and female of this world. The Kabbalistic female is the lowest world or the Sefira of MALCHUSE. The Kabbalistic male are the holy worlds above MALCHUSE.

Passage seven in Shir HaShirim is the end of the many passages of the problems of the female and her relation to the one she loves. Now the male talks and he knows nothing about her problems and her blackness, only love for her. It seems he can’t locate her and wants her to tell him where she is, otherwise, he will have to skip and jump here and there to find her. Now, if the male is a sefira, which is a very holy even divine property, why can’t it locate the Schechina or MALCHUSE who is also a divine property?

Here we see a very important revelation about the heavenly and this world relationship between male and female. Even in heaven, in the realm of holy Sefirose, the male suffers because his love, the Schechina, is somewhere he cannot locate. He needs her to tell him where she is. Does she call him up or send him a telegram? It doesn’t tell us that. But for our purposes, we have established the suffering of the higher sefirose as both male and female. And as Rav Moshe Chaim Lutsato already told us, that what happens in this world and what happens in the Sefirose are similar, because this world cannot exist without the forces that come to it from the sefirose. Thus, this world and the sefirose are similar. The female of the Kabbala as a Sefira called MALCHUSE suffers and so do women in this world.

Now we are at a point where we must know exactly what the situation is with the male and female in the higher world of sefirose, because they are the source for what happens in this world. We turn once more to the work of Rav Moshe Chaim Lutsato, Adir Bamorome, on the same page we are previously, page 119 in my edition.

We come to an incredible teaching. We know that there are ten stages in Kabbala. The highest level is KESER and the lowest level is MALCHUSE or Schechina. There are also ten Sefirose. There are higher and lower levels in both. We assume that number 10 comes first and is next to level 9, which is close to level 8, down to the bottom. If so, Malchuse or Schechina is at the bottom of the count, the farthest from the highest worlds. But Rav Moshe Chaim Lutsato turns everything upside down. He says that Malchuse, the bottom female level, is quite close to KESER the highest level. Keser is such a holy level so close to HaShem that we are not allowed to describe it and we cannot understand it at all. How could such a super holy sefira be very close to Malchuse?

The problem is worse than that. It seems that KESER number 10 is remote from Chochmo father, number 9, because he is afraid of Keser. But it seems that the bottom level which is Malchuse is not at all afraid of KESER. See on page 3 of Adir Bamorome an explanation of this: “HaShem wanted a connection between the higher lights and people in this world. So that the deeds of people can reach to the higher worlds. And for this to take place HaShem created the MALCHUSE with the power to rise and fall according to the deeds of people.”

Thus, if we assume as before that mortal women of this world and the female of higher worlds are similar, and we accept that MALCHUSE was designed to be a conveyor of mortal deeds to the higher sefirose, even to KESER, we see that MALCHUSE and KESER are together. This is stated clearly on page 119 of Adir Bamorome, namely that there is a deep relationship between KESER and MALCHUSE. He writes, “The MALCHUSE rises to the high KESER, and the secret of the matter is that KESER is only the higher lights that rests upon the lower…and behold, the connection for KESER is with the MALCHUSE, and this is a great secret with the covert statement of ‘I am first and I am last.” (Yeshayeh 44:6) …The power of the higher lights to rest upon the lower creations is with the hidden power of MALCHUSE. And this begins with the very beginning of reality. Afterwards is revealed that which is necessary to sustain the MALCHUSE. And when Malchuse comes down she is the secret of KESER itself. For from her goes forth all of the rest [which is necessary for the lower worlds]. And the hidden level of this is KESER MALCHUSE.”

This means as follows: The MALCHUSE receives the deeds of mortals, good and bad. It sends them to the higher world and to KESER. At that point, the very highest world of AIN SOFE is aroused and pours down into the lower holy worlds and this finite world a response to those forces sent earlier to the higher worlds above MALCHUSE.

We conclude our study of male and female with the following:

1)    The Talmud and the Written Torah make it clear that women historically, in biblical times, were superior to men. We explained this above, such as the Rashi that says clearly that Soro the wife of Avrohom was superior to him in prophecy.

2)    The Talmud makes it clear that greater is the trust of women in HaShem than the trust of men. This is also discussed above with the source.

3)    In our Kabbalistic study we find that the female level of Schechina was designed to have all of the deeds of mortals organized to be shot up to the higher holier worlds. They reach to Keser and beyond, to the world higher than Keser which is AIN SOFE. The AIN SOFE then takes the deeds of mortals, the good and the bad, and sends them down to the bottom of the Sefirose, or MALCHUSE. From MALCHUSE the deeds are distributed to this world. 

4)    The female MALCHUSE has much evil in it because it is where the deeds of people good and bad are deposited and then shot up to the higher worlds. The MALCHUSE has evil and suffering, and this is the “blackness” of Shir HaShirim, among other sufferings mentioned there.

5)    Since the levels of this world and the levels of the higher worlds are equal, when women suffer in Kabbala in the higher worlds, as MALCHUSE or SCHECHINA does suffer, we must therefore understand that women in this world also suffer. And just as MALCHUSE suffers and yet because of her suffering she ends up shooting the affairs of this world to KESER and above KESER to AIN SOFE, and because AIN SOFE shoots these lights back down to MALCHUSE, we see the greatness of the female in this world and the next. We do not find that the male levels such as Father or the six levels above MALCHUSE are close to KESER. Only MALCHUSE is. Thus, the female suffers but this brings her to a level higher than the male, as the gemora says, “Greater is the trust and confidence of women than that of men.” They belong in the highest worlds, not the men. This is based upon the reality that women are DIN or justice and men are CHESED or kindness. DIN has suffering but CHESED or kindness is the opposite of suffering.

How to Behave in Marriage: Laws of Marriage for Shalom Bayis

How to Behave in Marriage

Rav Dovid Eidensohn – Talmid HaGaon Reb Aharon Kotler, HaGaon Rav Moshe Feinstein, HaGaon Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashev, all of them zt”l

Laws of Marriage for Shalom Bayis

Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

We present here teachings from the gemora about Shalom Bayis in marriage. We begin with Yevomose 62b “He who loves his wife as he loves himself, and one who honors her more than he honors himself, and he who trains his sons and daughters to go in the proper path, one who marries off his children near the time of their coming of age for marriage, regarding him the Torah says, ‘and you will know that your tent is peaceful.’”

He who loves his wife as he loves himself is praised. But is this real love or an effort to love his wife? Or perhaps the effort in of itself does the job. After all, the Torah in parshas Tsaitsei tells us that, “and he shall make his wife rejoice.” Rashi and the Zohar says that it does not say “he shall make his wife rejoice together with him” but it says that he makes her rejoice even if he is not rejoicing and even if the effort to make his wife happy takes away his own pleasure. Because making his wife happy is the Torah’s command. A prominent expert in marriage says that marrying out of love is wrong because as people get older they change, and two people who once loved each other may change and the love may decline. The right path is to marry someone good for you and to commit yourself to remaining married no matter what. This commitment brings love, but love does not bring commitment. (From Mort Fertel)

What does it mean “One who honors her more than he honors himself?” This refers to monetary matters. It is winter and it is necessary to buy a strong coat. But there is money only for one strong coat. Who should get it, the husband or the wife? The wife. The Raishis Chochmoh page 266 says that a husband must always honor his wife with monetary matters and parnoso. Thus, he honors her more than himself, because he spends money on her that he cannot afford for himself. This is similar to what we say above that a husband must make his wife rejoice even though he does not rejoice. In fact, the act of making his wife rejoice may cost him some aggravation, but he is commanded to sacrifice his own happiness for his wife. Of course, a wife who sees her husband always trying to make her happy reciprocates. A marriage that is a partnership is a problem, because each partner feels they work harder than the other partner. But when one partner says I will assume the burden by myself and not wait for the other person, that is a higher level, and one that can bring peace into the home.

Raising children properly is not an easy task. Children are not mature people and need a lot of attention and ability to deal with minors. But one who deals with them in the proper path and does his best can merit heavenly help in developing fine children.

One must be very careful when raising children not to make the mistake of Yaacov who loved Joseph more than his other children and let everybody know it. This led to the brothers of Joseph selling him to Egypt. We have to know not to show one child more attention than the other children. We have to know to always encourage a weak child. We have to realize that a parent lives for the children, and that is a lifetime job, but it is at its height when they are very young. If then the parents sacrifice all and raise children properly, they may merit very special children.

When children come of age and the parents look for shidduchim, this can take up day and night. But the benefits are lifetime achievements.

What Moral Crisis Exists Today in the Torah World?

• If it is true that the fire of the netherworld is reserved for those neutral in times of moral crisis, what moral crisis exists today? The great moral crisis today is the "rabbis" who have decided they are greater than the Shulchan Aruch and the opinions of great rabbis back to the Rishonim. 
• Not long ago we had a trial in Trenton New Jersey of Orthodox people, including a Rosh Yeshiva from Monsey and other people known in their communities are prominent "rabbis," of people who were kidnapping Orthodox husbands who would not give their wife a GET, (something permitted and demanded by Halacha in many cases), then they would torture the husbands hideously until they agreed to give a GET and say it was given willingly. These GETS are worthless and the women marrying with them are having babies mamzerim. 
• The style of "rabbis" to demonize men and tell women to force a GET by going to secular court or by more primitive forcing like ORA is making more and more mamzerim. One day these mamzerim will grow up and want to go to Yeshiva. 
• Today increasingly women are simply told to leave their husbands with no GET and remarry. Such is the work of the Philadelphia Kaminetskies, who are reshoim gemurim, but most people don't like to do anything about it. And those who help these reshoim gemurim have a special room in the hot place. I mean Dovid Feinstein whose "beth din" hasn't gotten around to telling Tamar to leave her boyfriend because she is married to somebody else and has no GET. I mean Hillel David who told me that the Beth Din's decision that nobody knows about is not my business, and I should inquire about it from Shmuel Kaminetsky. Obviously, the Beth Din was made not to spare a child from being born a mamzer, but to remake Shmuel Kaminetsky back from a Rosho to a Gadol . Why? He needed them to repair his destroyed reputation when the senior rabbis attacked his lies and hideous hurting of Aharon Friedman so that Tamar could remarry with no GET.
•  Everyone other than Dovid Feinstein and Hillel David knows that the Kaminetsky ideas are pure treifeh, and whoever encourages these horrors to become the public "Gedolim" will answer in another world.
• And the gemora Shabbos says that anyone who can save others from sin but refuses to do it, is punished for those sins. The marriage of Tamar to a man not her husband with no GET is a terrible sin and if they have a child it will be a mamzer. But Feinstein and David don't care. Their political problems require making a Beth Din whose entire purpose is to enable a zona to sleep with a man who may produce a mamzer, as any child will be a mamzer.
• There are other 'rabbis' who tell men and women to remarry with no GET although this makes mamzerim for the woman who remarries with no GET. I have described some of them elsewhere. But here I just want to emphasize that we have nobody in America who fights these things, other than my brother and myself, and people know it, and women are encouraged by the Beth Din of Feinstein and David to force their husband to divorce which makes mamzerim or to remarry with no GET and make mamzerim.
• The only solution is for more people to learn the laws of Gittin so that the false 'rabbis' will be shame for their hideous mamzer making.