Joe Orlow on Rabbinic Corruption and Pilegesh Marriage

Journaling in America:

Building a Halachic Jewish Community

 by Joe Orlow

Comment by Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn - The Satan traps people to sin in two ways. One way is to tempt them with evil desire that they know is evil. The second way is to tempt them to do evil because they think something is a good deed. Rabbis who free women from marriage without a proper GET are the second level,of those who listen to the Satan to do evil things in the guise of goodness. Freeing a woman from a marriage, to these rabbis, is a good deed the overrides the sin of making mamzerim. I think this indicates my difference with the thrust of Joe's article, which I asked him to produce for my blog, because he thinks interesting thoughts that are deserving of discussion.

Part 1

This page is a very personal post. I hope that it will evolve into a more generic public post at some point. But for now, it's all about me. The writing may be long and rambling, because my life is complicated, and I'm not going to simplify things for the sake of brevity. Sometimes in life things are complicated and take effort and time to master. According to the effort is the reward.

I don't watch movies much lately. And I would not recommend anyone to watch the movie I'm about to describe. But I think there is a lesson to draw from it.

The movie was a low-budget movie, and over the years it has gained a dedicated following. I believe the reason for that is because the movie is an apt metaphor for life.

The movie is "Escape from New York". It takes place in a future where New York City has been abandoned by its citizens and been turned into a national prison.

The hero of the movie, or, better said, anti-hero, is a decorated combat veteran who was betrayed by his country. He re-tools his patriotism, turning his efforts on bringing down a corrupt system that is now leading the country.

The movie starts with this character, Snake Plissken, about to be incarcerated for life in New York City Prison. Concurrent with his imprisonment, but initially unrelated, the plane of the President of the United States, Air Force One, is hijacked and crash landed in New York City, a city which has been turned into a no man's land filled only with prisoners. There are no guards in the prison, only outside to prevent escape. The city is surrounded by walls, and people are thrown into the prison and forgotten.

The warden of the prison, Bob Hauk, now is stuck. The President must be extricated from New York, but it's virtually impossible to do it. The prisoners run the city. The warden's main job is to kill anyone trying to escape. He hits upon an idea to get the President out: Snake Plissken, ex-special ops soldier, who is about to be jailed in New York City, has the skills to find the president.

Hauk makes a deal with Snake. If Snake brings the President out alive in twenty-four hours, then Snake will be pardoned and become a free man.

To motivate Snake, Hauk has a bomb implanted in Snake that will detonate in twenty-four hours. The bomb will be defused only when Snake returns successfully from his mission.

Now the Nimshal, the analogy.

I was at one time a motivated team player for the Jewish Nation. I bought into the idea that my role is to learn Torah, Daven with Minyanim, and keep the Mitzvos. This is what I was taught by my family. This is what I was taught by my Rabbis. It meant a lot to me to be part of a thousands years chain that connected Creation to the Final Redemption. I genuinely believed that the Rabbis revered in America as Gadolim were just that, Great Ones.

And then I realized that some -- not all -- of these Gadolim were corrupt. To be sure, they were learned. But frauds, nonetheless. The reasons seemed to be three-fold:

(1) There does not seem to be an independent board in America that certifies achievement of Torah. That always puzzled me. The lack of such a board leads to a diminishing of Torah excellence. The leaders of some Yeshivos and those who fill positions of leadership at Agudath Israel are seemingly selected because of their lineage, and not their knowledge of Torah.

(2) The continued existence of some Yeshivos depends on raising money for the Yeshivos. Sometimes the heads of the Yeshivos will distort the Torah to keep the money flowing.

In particular, the chasm between what the Torah teaches and the values of American culture seem to be widening. In an attempt to bridge this gulf and facilitate fundraising, some Rabbis have outright permitted things that are forbidden.

(3) These corrupt leader Rabbis are still held in high regard despite widespread knowledge of the corruption. Some other Rabbis feel constricted in their power to oppose the evil Rabbis. These other Rabbis risk losing their livelihoods, reputations, and future marriage prospects for their children if these other Rabbis speak out publicly against the corruption.

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Part 2

Rabbi Dovid Eidensohn encouraged me to write more on the subject of the corrupt leadership. I will now follow through on his implicit suggestion to find a "solution".

My approach, though, is not so much to find a solution for tearing unquestioning followers away from a corrupt leadership. My approach is to find a way for me to move forward while distancing myself from those who refuse to challenge their evil masters. Because being part of a community that seeks guidance from corrupt rulers is not an option for me.

The Torah teaches that if a Jew has it within his power to influence another Jew to do the right thing, than he must use that influence. Failure to try and influence others to do right can even shift sins from the sinners back onto the one who failed to correct the sinners. Thus, a father has a responsibility to give Torah guidance to his family.

It goes even further. Even if someone in a position of authority is convinced he cannot influence others, he still must make the attempt. After all, maybe his words will be heeded.

I'd like to go back to the movie and draw another lesson from it, and to tie the lesson in with the obligation to correct others.

In the movie, Snake has two micro-bombs implanted in him. He has less than a day to complete his mission successfully or he will die.

As a Jew, I am in a similar position. Day by day, I am given a burden of what I need to complete each day. I am, so to speak, given a "token" (as Rabbi Aharon Lopiansky called it). This token is a pass to get me through the day. Thus, I wake up brand new in the morning, and must complete my task for the day. I am not required to complete the overall mission of Mankind. But neither am I free to neglect my part of the job.

This is a key lesson! So many of the people  I speak with, who DO recognize the corruption of the leadership, have thrown up their hands and given up. Don't they realize that if we all coordinated our efforts and did a drop of work each day, that, like penetrating oil, we would eventually achieve our goal of uprooting the evil leadership? I hate to say this, but I think that deep down some of my friends would rather just get a good feeling from knowing they are "right" than to actually do what it takes to make things "right".

And what is our work? To keep speaking out. Whether we think it will help or not. Because we don't know. Maybe it will help

Another movie lesson: The prisoners in New York City cannot escape because the island is surrounded by walls and by water and they are under constant surveillance. Furthermore, the bridges are mined. I, too, am walled off. Many times I reach out directly to the corrupt leaders, to those  who are close to them, and to their followers. And many times they refuse to speak to me, or they speak a little and then clam up, or they try to justify the unjustifiable. Any attempt I make to communicate about the corrupt leadership is cut off with a volley of defenses that essentially come down to this: once someone has achieved Gadol status, he becomes infallible. Thus, they I relegate me to a prison for the politically incorrect.

In the movie, the President is kidnapped and barely escapes death by exiting Air Force One in "the pod" moments before his plane crashes into New York. The irony is, that for Snake to save himself from a life sentence in prison, he must save the President, a man who represents everything Snake abhors. At the end of the movie, Snake manages to save himself and the President, yet still brings down the whole corrupt system.

The Nimshal may be forced a little here, but I think that the corrupt leaders realize that their little game of propping up the "Gadol Hador in America" at all costs has backfired. This "Gadol Hador" has, so to speak, double-crossed them. He has kidnapped the integrity of the Moetzes Gadolei Hatorah, and trashed it for his own gratification. So, although I am in a virtual prison, removed from many Rabbis, yet their integrity has also been tossed in here with me.

This is actually backed up by my experience with talking to some of the corrupt Rabbis. When I point out that they are out of order, they urge me to set things straight and save the day. And, like Snake, I intend to. And bring down their corrupt system at the same time.

Part 3

When I was a kid growing up in America, people didn't talk about their bodies and bodily functions. The culture changed, though. now, everything goes when it comes to the physical. But it has apparently become verboten to discuss "Truth" with a capital "T". Talk of the metaphysical is in "bad taste".

"Moral Relativism" rules the roost. Every religion is "right" for its followers; there is no "wrong"; and anyone who wants to say otherwise needs to mind their manners.

I will come back to this idea of "Truth" in a while. First, I want to introduce a way to undermine the corrupt leadership.

Perhaps the most egregious example of the corruption is the willingness of the leadership to annul marriages. This is not the place to explain the mistakes that are being made when marriages are annulled. Please take it as a given that the corrupt leadership is annulling marriages, or tolerating the annulment of marriages, in a way that contradicts Halacha.

A simple way to undermine the corrupt leadership is to take away from them the opportunity to annul marriages. The way to do that is to tell people not to get married in a way that may lead the wife to seek an annulment if and when she wants out of the marriage. Instead, people should be told to get married through a process that will not require a Get to dissolve the marriage.

I will refer to a marriage that requires a Get to effect a divorce as a Kiddushin marriage, or k-marriage. A marriage not requiring a Get to end it is a Pilegesh marriage, or p-marriage.

This idea to re-establish Pilegesh marriage as a way to do an end run around the corrupt leadership is a good plan in theory. In practice it is a little hard to implement. The reason for this, I have found, is two-fold.

(1) Some people in the Orthodox community find the idea of promoting p-marriage as something that a "cult" would do. That is, there has been no Jewish community that had widespread use of p-marriage in hundreds of years. Why start it up again?

To those who say I am part of a cult, I counter that my detractors have it backwards. Those who oppose p-marriage on the basis that it is cultish, it is my position that they are the ones in a cult. They follow Rabbis who go along with annulment of marriages, something which is in contradiction to the received Mesorah. Now, THAT is cultish! Imagine. Rabbis whose sole claim to authority is the Torah then go ahead ahead and ignore the Torah.

Still, we cannot ignore that our opponents seek to marginalize us. And it is difficult to reason with them. Because, as I noted above, it is considered the height of vulgarity to speak as if there is an Absolute Truth.

(2) The second reason I've found that makes it challenging to promote p-marriage, is that even with people who are willing to discuss Truth, we do not always share the same basic assumptions that are required in order to have a discussion.

I am an old-fashioned Jew. I believe that G-d spoke at Mt. Sinai. I believe that the Torah received there is the Torah we have in our hands today.

Others, who identify, as modern Jews, have similar beliefs. But they have a slightly different take on the way the Torah has been handed down. This different take has huge implications.

The moderns feel that the Halacha can "evolve". That is, that Halacha has to touch the Mesorah, but does not necessarily have to conform to the Mesorah.

An example will illustrate this. The Mesorah does have a concept of marriage nullification. Thus the moderns feels they can adapt this concept and apply it to cases it was never meant to cover. Old-fashioned Jews are constricted to applying the Halacha in exactly the same way it has been handed down to them from previous generations.

What follows from all this is that it is not possible to present a Halachic justification for p-marriage that will satisfy everyone. The best approach to promoting p-marriage, it seems to me, is to let everyone formulate their own justification.

As an old fashioned Jew, it is important to me to justify p-marriage by saying we are re-establishing it in order to prevent the birth of Mamzerim that may result when a woman "freed" from a k-marriage has children with another "husband". But in the final analysis, it doesn't matter to me if people don't agree with this justification. What matters is that people who do not respect the implications of k-marriage should then choose to be in a p-marriage over a k-marriage.

Meanwhile, some moderns will offer a justification that p-marriage is more "fair" than k-marriage. They will promote its egalitarian set-up in that the husband and wife have an equal and unilateral power to end the marriage. In contradistinction to this, only the man can give a Get in a k-marriage.

Thus, the approach to Halacha differs between old fashioned Jews and modern Jews. And even though we both agree that Pilegesh marriage should be encouraged today, I don't think we will be able to formulate a Halachic treatise that would satisfy both groups. Nonetheless, we should work together and coordinate a campaign promoting p-marriage.

Furthermore, those who think p-marriage is the stuff of cults will eventually come around when faced with the growing adoption of p-marriage as the basis for marriage. Those who throw around the "cult" word are unmoored from Halacha and float with the fashionable currents. Despite this, they are observant of most of the Mitzvos, often scrupulously so. They will perforce come to terms with p-marriage as it gains in popularity and as its Halachic basis becomes evident to them.

Finally, the corrupt leadership will be left in shame as it contemplates the mess it created. The community, by adopting p-marriage, will signal its abandoning of those Rabbis who consciously change the Halacha, all the while claiming that they, the Rabbis, must be listened to because they are the arbiters of what the Halacha is in regard to all matters.

People will be free to marry without having a corrupt Rabbi conduct the ceremony. People will be free to un-marry without going to a corrupt Bais Din. Jewish children will be born without any question of being Mamzerim. The corrupt Rabbis and their corrupt courts will be exposed.

Rabbis who clung to the true Torah will be the ones that people turn to in order to learn Halacha.

The 127 Years of Sora Wife of Avrohom

By Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

“And the lives of Soro were one hundred years, and twenty years, and seven years, the years of the lives of Soro.”[1] In the Hebrew this is: ויהיו חיי שרה מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים שני חיי שרה.

There are many questions on this passage. One, “And these were the lives of Soro.” Did she have more than one life?

Two, her lives were “a hundred years” “and twenty years”. In the Hebrew years are in the singular “שנה” not the plural  “SHONIM – שנים”. However the final collection of “years” (seven years) is in the plural שנים.

Rashi there teaches us that “it writes ‘year’ after each grouping of years [a hundred years and twenty years and seven years] to teach us that each grouping of years has an individual teaching. When she was a hundred years old she was as one twenty years old regarding sinning. Just as a person twenty years old is not considered a sinner because at that age one is not punished, so when she was a hundred years old she was with no sin. And when she was twenty years old she was like one who is seven years old regarding beauty.” We wonder just what kind of compliment this is. Somebody a hundred years old who has sins of a twenty year old is not a compliment. Maybe in heaven the rod of punishment is somewhat removed at the tender age of twenty, but it is no compliment to have the sins of somebody twenty, because somebody twenty can do many sins and do major sins. Furthermore, when she was twenty she was as one seven years old for beauty. What kind of compliment is this? Who wants to be beautiful as a seven years old?

Perhaps we could explain as follows. The three groups of years are 100, 20, and 7. These three numbers are also letters. One hundred is the value of the letter KUF ק'. Twenty is the letter CHOF כ'. Seven is the letter Zayin ז'.

We could explain as follows. The letter KUF or ק' is really a HAY ה' except that the small line on the left side of the HAY plunges down through the line. Regarding holiness, that which is high up is “heavenly” and that which is beneath the line is a problem. Thus, the HAY, which is a major letter of HaShem’s Holy Name because it has four letters and two of them are HAYs, represents great holiness. But the KUF is a HAY that part of it plunges down, the opposite place of holiness. We would thus assume that KUF is about lack of holiness, but it is not that simple. The gemora in Shabbos 104A says that KUF stands for holiness, as holiness is in Hebrew קדוש that begins with a KUF ק'. But if it stands for holiness why does it take the form of a HAY which is very holy but part of it plunges down, and going down instead of rising is the opposite of holiness. But the answer is that Soro was a holy woman. Indeed, she was a greater prophet than her husband, Avrohom, who was the greatest holy person who founded the Jewish people and was constantly lose to G-d. But when the Satan sees a very holy person his job is to make trouble. And he made trouble with Soro who was captured by kings and taken to their palaces where she trembled with fear but HaShem protected her. Thus, she was holy and she was also KUF in the sense of falling down and being captured by kings who wanted to marry her, a terrible disaster. Therefore, “when she was a hundred” meaning and the holiness was challenged in the worst way, she was as one twenty who has no sin. Now, this level of no sin for a twenty year old is no compliment, but technically, it is true that twenty is not an age where heaven punishes a sinner, but rather exudes mercy. Of course Soro who did not sin when she was captured because of her beauty had the two levels of great holiness, as KUF a hundred represents holiness, but this holiness is manifested when one has tests that produce great spiritual challenges, which is not pure holiness but holiness despite the horrors of the Satan. This is the greatest level of holiness, but it is not the holiness of no trace of sin, but holiness despite a terrible challenge from the Satan to sin. The rabbis say, “Light from darkness is a special light.”

But there is another understanding here. When she was a hundred or KUF she was as one twenty or CHOF. Chof is the letter for KESER or crown. KESER in Kabbala is the highest purity where there is no trace of anything not heavenly. When Soro sat in the palace of Pharoah and Avimelech and faced the terror of great sin, she was at the level of CHOF or KESER or Crown, the holiest level. But the problem in this holiness is that there is no way for people to understand KESER, as it belongs in the highest realm with HaShem, and people can’t understand it or its light. Therefore, the passage continues with another letter, ZAYIN, for seven years, that represents a young child seven years old. This child, Rashi tells us, at the age of seven has a special beauty, that described the level of Soro. Was Soro beautiful like a child? What kind of beauty is that? But we just explained that KUF means holiness under great challenge from the Satan, and one who conquers the evil rises to the level of CROWN or KESER, the holiest level far beyond what a human being can understand. But when Soro achieved this level, she revealed a great beauty of purity, the level seven or ZAYIN, because a child has no hidden holiness, only a revealed purity. And the mighty lights of the Crown of Keser showed in Soro’s visage. Whoever saw her was elevated by the sight of great purity and holiness, and the hidden lights of the highest world of KESER. Soro brought these high levels into human understanding, the seven years of a child, which was an incredible level.

Now let us return to the questions we asked why the Torah mentions three groups of years, 100, 20, and 7. IN 100 and 20 it says the singular form of “years” not years but year, not SHONIM but SHONO. But with the final level, of seven years it says seven years in the plural SHONIM.  But recall that 100 is KUF which is KEDUSHO or holiness, a very hidden level of the highest holiness that radiates a great light but who understands it? But this great light was as 20 meaning that letter כ'  that is the first letter of כתר KESER or CROWN. KESER is  the peak of holiness in this world, very close to HaShem.

The KUF holiness that was challenged by great sin when Soro was taken to kings for her beauty becomes KODOSH or holiness when somebody fights the evil and conquers it. Soro retained her great holiness in the palace of the king who wanted to abuse her in the worst way, and she merited that everything in the KUF flipped around into KESER or Crown utterly beyond human understanding. So what? What do we gain from something nobody understands? The answer is that the next level was SEVEN, a simple beauty that was obvious, and this simple beauty contained the holiness of KUF and the hidden holiness of CHOF, and revealed both. Therefore, the clause of the seven was in the plural, because it contained both the KUF and the KESER which are vastly hidden worlds of the highest levels, and both of them are revealed through the level of Soro and her struggle to remain holy amid the worst challenges.

The passage concludes, “the years of the lives of Soro.” Years plural and lives plural. Because Soro lived in the dimension of challenge. She lived in the dimension of reward for standing up to the challenge. And she merited to shine with a holiness that lit the world for everyone to benefit from it, as her holiness with the highest hidden light became revealed to others as even a child could understand they were standing in the presence of something very sacred.

---

[1] (Beraishis23:1)

The Orthodox Gains and the Hyphenated Orthodox Decline

The Orthodox Gains and the Hyphenated Orthodox Declines

Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

The Orthodox Increase in population is powered by large families and by people who are not Orthodox deciding to become Orthodox. When the Posek HaDor Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashev zt”l died, a secular newspaper revealed that he left over a thousand progeny of children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc. What did this fact mean to the secular Israeli? What it meant is that here is a person, one man, who produced over a thousand people who were either all or most basically Orthodox as he was. Compare this with the secular Israel who has a very small birth rate. The sad comment on the secular Israeli’s propagation is that a family produces a child and a dog. The child then goes to Japan to marry somebody who is not Jewish, and the dog doesn’t vote.

Years ago the secular Kibbuts, perhaps controlled by leftist or even Communists, produced the senior officers of the army. But today those Kibbutsim have declined or disappeared, and the new element powering up the Israel army is completely Orthodox soldiers who believe that defending the holy land is a great mitzvah. After a period of some years, these Orthodox soldiers have made a good name for themselves, and they are on their way to be the future generals. The recent battles in Gaza were led by an Israeli colonel who is completely Orthodox. He spent years in America learning from and teaching American soldiers. If he wasn’t Orthodox he would probably have become a general by now. But making future generals Orthodox is a great threat to the secularists who control the army. But rejecting Orthodox soldiers from the highest positions is futile, because nobody else in Israel is so motivated to be a top soldier.

Our remarks here are not about the secular Jew, but about those who call themselves Orthodox or those who call themselves Orthodox plus a hyphenated word such as Modern Orthodox or Open Orthodox. When we say that they decline, what do we base this on? Basically, somebody who is Orthodox plus Modern or Open reveals that his Orthodoxy is tampered with other beliefs, and these beliefs are contrary to Orthodoxy. Otherwise, who needs the hyphenation? Just say you are Orthodox.

Let us examine the Orthodoxy of Modern Orthodox Jews. Are they completely Orthodox? First of all, who are they? Many of them come from Yeshiva University. Now, Yeshiva University was the only game in town in the early years of the twentieth century. Great European Gedolim taught there and instilled a Jewish spirit in many people who were ready to go to a secular college and get completely lost. But after a class or two with the European Gedolim, these American college students then studied under the atheists who teach in the secular colleges. Here is hyphenation. And it produces confusion. But confusion is not the right word. It produces an understanding that Orthodoxy is a compartmentalized religion. Part Rav Soloveitchik and part the people who teach about Einstein and other things that are filled with anti-Torah ideas. But things are worse than that. Let us be specific about the problems with Modern Orthodox. Yes, they are Modern in one compartment and then Orthodox in a separate compartment. Is this somebody who believes in Sinai and the Torah or somebody who is two people part believer and part denier?

Let us talk about Modern Orthodox people who play the American game and want the highest degrees and the best jobs. How many years does it take to get a doctorate or training in some advanced specialty? We are talking about unmarried people, because until they graduate with all of their required degrees and begin making some good money, marriage is unlikely. The rabbis required marriage at the age of eighteen and no later than twenty. But for the Modern Orthodox person, that is impossible. Getting a master’s degree takes years, and getting a doctorate takes years. A doctor must spend years after he gets his degree doing actual medical work until he eventually is granted his full license to practice. He is not young. His biology has been boiling for years. And yes, he has not been without girls. And they, too, have biology. Since they are Modern Orthodox, the dating is also compartmentalized. Don’t ask for details.

A YU student told me that there are students in the Modern Orthodox YU world who cannot marry but do have intimate relationships that are proper only for married people. The Rebbes in YU spoke out about such people. The very fact that they practice keeping the Mikva and are alone like husband and wife on a regular basis, could possibly create a pesak that they are married. If so, if the woman leaves this man and marries with somebody else, without a GET from the first man, her children are mamzerim. Yes, the hyphen goes a long way. It is terrible.

Now let me tell you a story that happened with me recently, that is quite relevant to our discussion. I spoke to people who are hyphenated Orthodox and I had for them what I thought was a home-run idea. Kiddushin often destroys the wife when the husband won’t give her a GET. So let them marry with Pilegesh, and anyone can leave anytime. I sweetened the pot by saying that when a Kiddushin lady remarries without a GET, her children from the new marriage are mamzerim. In Pilegesh there is no such thing, no mamzerim. I was shocked to realize that my idea was completely rejected. I don’t mean they rejected Pilegesh. They did not. But they rejected the negative information that Kiddushin can produce mamzerim. And the tone of voice was that this was completely wrong to even discuss. I was confused.

But now I am beginning to understand. When a person is two opposites, Modern and Orthodox, he or she is compartmentalized, which is not my invention, but I heard it from others. The part of the hyphenated Orthodox is really Orthodox. But the part that is Modern is completely free to have sinful relations with people who should be married to do certain things. If you talk to that person’s Orthodox side, you see a full fledged keeper of Shabbos and kashruth. But when you talk about anti-Orthodox things that are the property of the Modern, you cannot talk at all about Orthodox sin, so just keep quiet.

I do not believe that everybody who joins a Modern Orthodox Shull or group is compartmentalized. I believe that many of them accept that they are one person and yet are simply too weak to obey the Orthodox teaching as they should. Such a person can readily discuss what he practices and what he does not practice, without hesitation, without inventions, without being two people but being one person. Such a person has a much easier time of considering dropping the hyphenation and becoming completely Orthodox. But the compartmentalized person doesn’t always believe in Orthodoxy, sometimes he is “Modern” and then, the Torah is not important.

When I say that hyphenated Orthodox is in decline, I mean that an Orthodoxy without Torah is a complete farce, and any intelligent person knows that. And although the many hyphenated people and compartmentalized people are firm believers in splitting the brain into two people, such a trick is not strong enough to appeal to people who think normally in terms of one brain and one person and one set of beliefs. Thus, the Modern Orthodox with its opposite brains is a state of impossible confusion, and can only produce more confusion. The hyphenated Orthodox are busy splitting into Modern and then Open. One who reads their material knows he is dealing with people who don’t think straight. This is a formula for division and decline.

Raising Children to be Rich in Torah and Money

by Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

The gemora in Horiyuse 10B tells how the students of Rovo, one of the greatest sages of the gemora, visited him. He asked them if they finished this and that volume of the Talmud and they said they have finished the books. He then asked them if they were wealthy. Rav Popo replied that he was wealthy. Rovo was pleased with this response, because one who is comfortable financially can learn Torah with peace of mind, unlike a person troubled constantly with debt.

We have a gemora quoting Shlomo HaMelech in Mishlei that one should not marry until he  has a house and a good job. See Sota 44a. When we note that in Shulchan Aruch Even Hoezer I:3 it says a man should marry before twenty, and when we find in chazal "an eighteen year old should marry" we wonder where all the money came that an eighteen year old who spent most of his time learning Torah suddenly had money for a house and a good job.

The answer is as follows: A child has no obligation to keep the Torah, because only one who is Bar Mitsvah must keep the Torah. However, the father of the child has an obligation to train the boy for adulthood. Whatever an adult must do the child must be trained for it. If an adult must learn nine hours a day and work three hours a day as the Rambam Talmud Torah I:12  and Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 156:1  tell us, a father must teach his son at a very early age to learn how to earn. Originally, the father makes it very easy, such as telling the son to go to school with some fruit from the farm and trade it with another child who is also learning how to buy and sell. But gradually, the child builds up experience, is trained to rap on doors, finds out the hard way that some people are not honest, and gradually develops under his father's tutelage into a first rate businessman. At the age of Bar Mitsvah he is already learning how to invest his savings into buying property if the price is right, and then he sells is when the price rises. At the age of eighteen he is ready for marriage. He has money for a house and has a going business in various things, real estate, selling things from the farm such as leather, and other opportunities.

Imagine a house where an eighteen year old boy has wealth. How much peace and contentment is in that house. How happy is the wife who can have what she needs and more. How happy are the children of that house, especially when their father begins training them in business, together with their main efforts, in learning Torah. Such a family trains children to be great in Torah and wealthy. This is what the Torah wants from people, if they make the effort and merit it. Because not everyone merits wealth, but it is surely an ideal to strive for.

Some rabbis such as Rabbi Akiva and Rabbi Yehuda the Prince were extremely wealthy. Some were very poor, like Hillel. But how lovely it is to train a child from childhood to aim for wealth, to understand business, and to manage, in a few hours as a child, to establish himself as a successful businessman by the time he reaches marital age.

Children spend hours and hours on having fun. The best fun is to learn to earn and to watch the coins pile up. That brings a family of happiness and blessing.

Question: Do we raise our children to be great in Torah and wealthy? Or do we raise them to be "Great" in Torah, which almost never happens, and when it doesn't happen, a family is in trouble. And if we don't raise a child to earn, and he faces marital age, what hope does he have to have a house and a good job? Is this what Rambam says applies to a person who does not have a house and a good job and marries, that he is a Tipash? Rambam Mishneh Torah Dayose V:11

It is time to think carefully: Are we raising our children to be wealthy and great in Torah, or are we raising them to be Tipshim? Recall the above, that a gemora in Sota 44a clearly forbids marriage without a house and a good job, and this is brought in Shulchan Aruch Oruch Chaim 156:1. Why do so many people ignore open gemoras and poskim? Why, when we see the misery in so many broken families, we don't think into this?

Anyone who wants to discuss this with me can reach me at 845-578-1917 or dddeid@verizon.net.

ממרא זכה שיעשו יהודים מילה

וירא אליו השם

דוד אליהו אידנסון

וירא אליו השם באלוני ממרא פרש"י הוא שנתן לו עצה על המלה. הפשטות שהקב"ה צוה לאברהם אבינו למול והיה לאברהם ספיקות אם לקיים הברית מילה והטעם שמא יאמרו הגוים שהיהדות של אברם למול איש זקן יגרום שאנשים לא יקבלו המצוה של מילה ולא ירצו להיות יהודים.

והנה היה לאברהם ג' חברים ענר אשכול וממרא ומשמע שענר גדול מאשכול ואשכול גדול מממרא א"כ יוצא לנו שאברהם היה לו ספיקות אם למול שלא יאמרו הגוים שיהדות הוא אכזריות שאיש זקן צריך למול עצמו. והסכים לזה ענר ואשכול שהיו גדולים מממרא שהוא האחרון של הג' חברים של אברהם. וגם אברהם היה נוטה לספיקות בענין המילה. שעל כן תימה איך קיבל אברהם מן הפחות של הג' שגם הוא היה נוטה שלא למול מן הטעם הנ"ל ומאס בעצת ג' החשובים וגם בהספק של עצמו בזה וצ"ע.

וגם קשה שהפסוק מתחיל וירא אליו השם ולא אומר השם וירא ה' אל אברהם. וכאילו אברהם איננו אלא וירא אליו השם וצ"ע.

עוד י"ל שעצם הספק של אברהם הוא פלא שהרי אברהם כבר היה בכבשן האש שמאס בע"ז ויצא שלם ולמה בברית מילה שהוא הרבה פחות מן הכבשן של אש היה פוחד מה יאמרו הבריות שהקב"ה תובע מה שאי אפשר לאנשים לסבול.

ובפרט שאברהם אמר הנני עפר ואפר שיצא מן האש והיה ראוי להיות עפר ואפר. הרי שידע שהקב"ה יצילו כמו שהצילו מנמרוד. ולמה בברית פחד שימות או שיאמרו הגוים שהוא מצוה קשה יותר מדאי שאיש זקן ימול את עצמו.

וי"ל שממרא עולה גימ' אפר. וזה בדיוק היה הטענה של ממרא. שאם אברהם כבר יצא מן הכבשן של אש וניצל על ידי שמסר נפשו עבור השם כ"ש שיש לו למות עצמו שאין זו קשה מן הכבשן האש. ולכאורה איך נעלם זה מאברהם ומענר ואשכול שהקב"ה הציל מי שיעשה רצונו אפילו מכבשן האש. ודוקא ממרא הפחות של הג' חברים אמר זה ותיכף נתקבל. והוא לא יובן לכאורה.

אלא י"ל שב' דברים יש וב' דברים יש בק"ש. האחד הוא הפסוק שמע ישראל השם אלקינו השם אחד. והב' עול מצוות. והנה עול השם גדול מן העול של מצוות. שלכן בכשן האש של נמרוד היה סברא שהקב"ה הציל אברהם על ידי שמסר נפשו על ייחוד השם וקיום העול של אמונה בהשם שזה גדול מסתם מצוה. ועדיין אינו ברור שהקב"ה יעשה נס כזה למי שירצה לקיים מצוה בעלמא. שלכן בא ממרא ואמר שגם בקיום המצוות יש לישראל לקיים במסירת נפש יהיה מה שיהיה ואפילו שיהיה אפר ממש ח"ו כדאי הוא לקיים רצון השם לעשות המצוה. ועוד שאם הברית מילה הוא ברית עם השם שהוא דבר גדול מאוד יש לקיימו אפילו במסירת נפש ממש ולהיות ממש עפר ואפר. זהו אילני ממרא שממרא גימ' אפר' שהקב"ה נתגלה עליו במדה זו של ממרא גימ' אפר' לגלות שזכה ממרא להבין הדרך בתורה שלא לבד שיש למסור נפש עבור אמונה בהשם למאוס בע"ז אלא שגם לקיים המילה שהוא מצוה יש למסור נפש.

ומה שפחדו אברהם ואחרים שעל ידי זה יהיה חילול השם שיאמרו שהתורה קשה יותר מדאי אדרבה המוסר נפשו לקיים מצות מילה הוא ראוי לאותו הנס שאירע אצל נמרוד שהלא זה תכלית כל הבריאה שיעשו אנשים אפילו גוים התורה כדאיתא בפסחים פז ע"ב לא הגלה הקב"ה את ישראל לבין האומות אלא בכדי שיתוספו עליהם גרים שנאמר כו'. וא"כ כל התורה וכל ישראל ענינו להוסיף גרים ובודאי שעיקר המצוות כמו מילה ודאי לא יגרום ההיפוך שימנעו גרים ח"ו. זה היה סברת ממרא ונתקבל אצל אברהם.

ומצד השני היות שזאת לא היה מחשבת אברהם אלא של ממרא לא נזכר אברהם בפסוק אלא וירא אליו השם בלי שם של אברהם באלוני ממרא שכל הזכות הוא של ממרא שגילה לכולם סברא זאת שכל יהודי וכל גר צריך להיות בבחינת אנכי עפר ואפר שכן ממרא גימ' אפר'.

והנה באלני ממרא עולה גימ' באלני 93 שהוא חשבון יקוק' אדנ-י עם ב' דהיינו שעבודת השם הוא בהוי' אדנ'. והשיעור לזה הוא ממרא' גימ' אפר' שאמונה בעצמות השם שהוא הוי' אדנ' הוא למסור נפש אפילו על המילה שהוא מצוה בעלמא שעושים המצוות כמו שאברהם היה נכנס בתוך כבשן האש "אפר" לקיים רצון השם. ודוקא על ידי מסירת נפש כזאת זוכים שהקב"ה רצה שלא הגלה ישראל לבין האומות אלא להוסיף עליהם גרים ומדה זו בא רק על ידי מסירת נפש גדול כמו שעשה אברם בזמנו וכמו שעשו צדיקים בכל דור ודור.

What is Pilegesh and Should People Marry with Pilegesh?

Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

What is Pilegesh? And should people marry with Pilegesh?

Pilegesh is a type of marriage mention in the Shulchan Aruch favorably by the Vilna Gaon and Beis Shmuel and Ramo, although some disagree. The Vilna Gaon brings a gemora that clearly permits Pilegesh. On the other hand, we for generations don't hear about people marrying without Kiddushin, and we don't hear about people marrying with Pilegesh.

Originally, almost all Jews respected the person who married with Kiddushin and did not respect the person who married with Pilegesh. Therefore, we don't hear about people marrying with Pilegesh, even though the greatest authorities and an open gemora permit it. But today, I believe, it is time to unlock the gate to Pilegesh. The reason is that today people don't honor Kiddushin as they must. We have prominent rabbis such as Rabbi Moshe Heinemann and Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky who are heavily involved in the effort to "free" women from their husbands with forced and invalid GETS. Shmuel Kaminetsky and his son are involved in getting a married woman to marry without a GET, based upon ridiculous ideas and "proofs." Rabbis Heinemann and Kaminetsky are "mamzer makers" and there are many others.

Here are the rules of marriage as I understand it.

1) Every Jew should marry with Kiddushin.

2) However, Kiddushin is a very strict marriage. The wife when married with Kiddushin can never be free of her husband without a kosher GET, meaning one that is not forced but given willingly. Because so many women are not ready to observe this, but insist on finding a rabbi such as Rabbi Heinemann and Kaminetsky who encourage women to leave their husbands without a kosher GET, we must declare publicly that any man or woman who is not ready to honor Kiddushin is forbidden to marry with Kiddushin. Otherwise, if the woman leaves her husband with an invalid or forced GET, the baby born in her next marriage will be mamzerim.

3) If Kiddushin is forbidden for a Jew, what kind of marriage can he/she have? The only answer is Pilegesh. Of course, some permit marrying with Kiddushin and stipulating that in a few months or few weeks the husband will give a GET. But what if the husband doesn't want to divorce his wife because he likes her? Then the woman has no escape. Unless she refuses Kiddushin and marries with Pilegesh.

4) Again, any Jew who cannot be positive about honoring Kiddushin may not marry with Kiddushin. Nor may such a Jew without Kiddushin remain alone and unmarried, because such a person tends to do terrible sins. Only a real marriage can save a person from terrible sins.

5) Therefore, today when a huge amount of Jews cannot accept Kiddushin, for them we must provide Pilegesh.

6) Pilegesh means that the husband and wife declare in front of kosher witnesses and preferably a Beth Din of three reliable people that they absolutely refuse to accept Kiddushin. They will only live together with Pilegesh and they declare in front of two witnesses that they in their relationship will never consider Kiddushin.

7) This is very important because in a Jewish neighborhood anyone seeing a man and woman living together and practicing the Torah assumes they are married with Kiddushin. If so, if the wife leaves without a kosher GET and remarries, her children are mamzerim, at least in the eyes of those who don't know that they are married not with Kiddushin but with Pilegesh.

8) I would prefer making a ceremony for Pilegesh mainly that they declare before two kosher witnesses who know them, that they are forbidden to marry with Kiddushin because they probably could not withstand the test of living alone without a Kosher GET. And furthermore to live without any marriage leads them to serious sins on a regular basis. Therefore, the proper thing for them is Pilegesh. I emphasize here that it is not necessary to be sure that the man or woman taking Pilegesh are absolutely sure they could not tolerate Kiddushin. The opposite is true. If they are not positive that they will keep Kiddushin all of their life, they are not allowed to take a chance and marry with Kiddushin at all! For everyone like that, the only solution is not singledom chas vishalom, and not taking a chance with Kiddushin, but Pilegesh. Pilegesh don't make mamzerim. And it is crucial that the two marrying in Pilegesh should declare before two reliable witnesses that they a absolutely refuse to accept Kiddushin, under any circumstances. Preferably, the husband and wife making Pilegesh marriage should have two witnesses who know them testify that Kiddushin would be a great test for them that they could possibly fail. Then a Beth Din, hearing this testimony, can declare that the husband and wife is forbidden to make Kiddushin, and is also forbidden to live alone without marriage, and therefore must marry with Pilegesh.

9) The main thing about a marriage of Pilegesh is for the husband and wife to refrain from intimacy or being alone with another man or woman not their spouse. If the husband and wife in Pilegesh violate this the Pilegesh marriage is in violation and Yayvetz demands an end to the Pilegesh marriage. Pilegesh is recognized by the Talmud and the Torah, but it is one way street. If the husband and wife need prostitution, nobody permits this.

10) The Yayvetz at the end of his teshuvo on Pilegesh makes statements some lenient and some strict. If I had to deal with Pilegesh, I might go easy on his leniences and some of his strictness, but even so, I would not get involved with somebody whose marriage features these matters. I would want a pure marriage whose major benefit is that if the husband refuses a GET the woman can leave and remarry. But this, if I was involved with that couple, would be done in a serious manner.

Obama's "Draft America's Daughters" Removed from New Legislation!

TO: Rabbi David Eidensohn

Dear Rabbi Eidensohn

 

We are pleased to send you the news release below, regarding the remarkable election results of Tuesday.

 

President-Elect Donald J. Trump has pledged to restore the strength of our severely depleted and demoralized military. After months of hard work, now we have a real opportunity to push back and win the culture war on our military!

 

More good news: On Monday the Washington Examiner reported that legislation requiring women to register with Selective Service after their 18^th birthday was removed from the Senate version of the FY 2017 National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA). President Obama will not get the chance to sign the problematic "Draft America's Daughters" legislation into law.

 

CMR took the lead in producing a detailed Policy Analysis  that reframed the issue, and spent a lot of time working with congressional contacts, other groups, and individual leaders who resolved to win the fight. Thank you for your help!  

 

We remain concerned about radical policies that Pentagon officials are moving to impose on our military before President Obama leaves office. Number one on the list is Defense Secretary Ashton Carter's controversial plans for transgenders in the military.

 

Again, CMR has taken the lead in analyzing recently-released Pentagon directives that will affect far more people than the tiny minority of persons who are confused about their sexual identity. This is a new CMR Policy Analysis of the issue, which we posted just before the election:  

• CMR: Defense Department Orders Acceptance of Gender Identity Delusion 

The good news here is that these policies can be revoked by the incoming Trump Administration. That will not happen, however, unless we insist on it.

 

We have a lot of work to do before and after the Trump Administration Inauguration in January. More than ever, CMR needs your help to have a direct influence on what happens next during the transition and beyond.

 

Because CMR is a small organization with a huge mission, your personal contribution will make a big difference, especially now.

 

If you support CMR's work, please consider helping us with a generous, tax-deductible contribution through our secure website. Please click on the DONATE button here:
You can also help by visiting, "liking," and sharing articles on the CMR Facebook page, linked here and by following CMR on Twitter.

 

 The news release below indicates that we have much to be grateful for. Thank you for your continuing support, and best wishes for a wonderful Fall season. 

Why are All Songs of the Prophets to be Negated in the Future other than MIZMOR LISODA?

בש"ע אורח חיים סימן נא' סעיף ט' וז"ל מזמור לתודה יש לאומרה בנגינה שכל השירות עתידות ליבטל חוץ ממזמור לתודה עכ"ל ולכאורה הוא פלא שכל השירות שאמר דוד המלך ושאר הנביאים יתבטלו והלא נאמרו ברוח הקודש מפי צדיקים ולמה יתבטלו?

ובטור ובית יוסף מובא מן המדרש רבה ויקרא כמדומה ט' ז' על זה אבל עדיין הענין פלא למה יתבטל מה שנאמר ברוח הקודש מפי נביאים וצדיקים. ומה נשתנה מזמור לתודה מכל הזמירות ששר דוד המלך שכולם יתבטלו?

וי"ל שחייב אדם לברך על הרע כמו שהוא מברך על הטובה. ובכל זאת בעולם הזה הצער שיש לאדם גורם לו שהוא אומר הברכה להשם עבור הצרות רק בדרך אמונה ולא מרגיש היטב השמחה. שאצלו ושכלו הכל צער אלא שבאמונה הוא אומר ברכתו להשם ולא בדרך שכל שאין זו תהלה שלימה. אבל לעתיד לבא מזמור לתודה שהתודה יהיה מזמור ממש שלעתיד לבא יזכה כל אדם להשיג שכל מה שעשה הקב"ה הוא באמת לטובתו ושראוי על פי השכל שלו לשיר זהו מזמור לתודה שהמזמור שזוכים עכשיו להבין בשכל שכל הצער שקיבל בעולם הזה הכל היה לטובתו ממש והוא שמח לא בדרך אמונה לבד שאין זו שמחה שלימה אלא ו

בשמחה שלימה שהוא משיג ממש שהצער היה לטובת