How to Have Intimacy with your Wife and Go To Gehenum - The Steipler

Igeres HaKodesh from the Steipler copied from my brother's blog daattorah.blogspot.com.

Monday, February 22, 2016

The Steipler: The correct understanding of the mitzva to love one's wife Igros Kodesh #1

Igros Kodesh (#1): 1) While it is true that asceticism in dealing with the lusts of this world is an important thing [assuming that it is done for the sake of heaven to give pleasure to G-d and not just to be more developed in spirituality] but that is only if it is done after he has already fulfilled is Torah obligations. However if by being ascetic he nullifies the slightest of his Torah obligations then his deeds are credited to the Sitra Acher [evil] - G-d forbid and he doesn’t advance in true spirituality. So even though he views himself as becoming a more elevated being by his asceticism he in fact is burying himself in the grave of pride by considering himself a very spiritual person when in fact his spirituality is seriously defective. And this frequently manifests itself as degradation in that it leads him to committing an actual Torah prohibition and he is not able to restrain himself at all as we know from a actual case where this happened – G-d should preserve us!

Conjugal rights of the wife is a Torah commandment just as serious as eating matzo. And even ignoring it when she is pregnant [when the wife has not truly excused him wholeheartedly from his obligations] makes into a complete sinner. And sins like this which are between two people are not atoned for even by Yom Kippur. He is like a robber or mugger who steals from his wife what is owed to her. This is comparable to killing his wife since it is known that the prime hope of a woman in this world is that she have a husband who loves her. Therefore when she see that he doesn’t love her, it is almost life threatening (pikuach nefesh) because of the great upset and anguish he causes her by making her like a widow while her husband is still alive.

The conjugal obligations of workers is twice a week, for a talmid chachom it is once a week. The Achronim write that in modern times we do not have people who are called talmidei chachomim according to Chazal [that is because in modern times we are not properly careful about not nullifying ourselves from Torah study and there are other reasons], nevertheless the reason why a talmid chachom only has an obligation once a week is because the Torah weakens his physical strength. That reason would therefore apply also a talmid chachom in modern times. However a talmid chachom who knows that he has the strength retains the obligation of having intercourse twice a week. This is how it is explained in the Biur Halacha (O.C. 240). This was the practice of the Chasam Sofer as is known – see the Mishna Berura there. It is also the practise of most talmidei chachomim in modern times ]before they reach old age ] It is obvious that she married with the understanding that her husband would follow the accepted practise. And furthermore the husband is obligated by the kesuba to conduct himself according to normative practise [for those similar to himself]. It is obvious that if he wants to exempt himself by have intercourse only once a week and not twice that this is close to creating a situation of a genuine uncertainty regarding a Torah obligation. Aside from that there is a separate obligation for the husband when he is aware that she desires to have relations – even if she indicates this by very slight hints as is explained in Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 240:1 which is from Pesachim 72 and in a number of other places.

2) The details of sexual intercourse of the mitzva of conjugal obligations are explained in the Siddur of Rav Yaakov Emden in the section of the laws of Shabbos night. It should be studied carefully because these are actual halachic obligations. Because according to the Torah it is prohibited to have intercourse in circumstances where the woman is not interested and therefore it is necessary to get her interested with intimate activities such as hugging and kissing until she is sexual aroused and desires intercourse. Because if this is not done first – it is like placing her before a lion who mauls and eats as is explained in Pesachim (49). [It is a terrible sin to deprive her of her sexual rights even if he is doing it for the sake of piety and asceticism. Taking what belongs to his wife can not be the basis of piety by theft and treating her as a slave]. Furthermore to have sexual intercourse against her will results in having children who are sinners and rejecters of Torah – they are call bnei anusa (children of rape).

A husband who grabs and has intercourse immediately without preliminary intimacy and then separates immediate after ejaculation and leaves her, might think that he is acting like a highly spiritual angel. But in actual truth he has not lowered his lust at all even though he definitely has placated his desires for the time being sine he has in fact obtained full pleasure from this intercourse. In contrast his wife felt no pleasures at all from this abrupt sexual act. In fact she has been hurt and shamed and the tears she sheds in private will not go unanswered. That is because our Sages(Bava Metzia) tell us that the Gate of Tears has not been closed. They say that a man should be very careful with his wife honor because she readily cries. There is no question that such a brutal act arouses Divine judgment against him. Furthermore he does not merit to have Divine help either in spiritual or material issues. And this that he mistakenly thinks he becomes a highly spiritual person by trying to be insensitive to his wife in sexual matters – this is a worthless fantasy and a lie. That is because from sins and transgression, one becomes blemished and spiritually impure – not elevated.

And this is stated in Shulchan Aruch (240:8) that it is done only after his wife is placated and is interested in doing it. Because otherwise it is prohibited to have intercourse without her consent as is explicit there in the Shulchan Aruch (240:3) and as is explained in the Siddur of Rav Yaakov Emden and this is actual Torah halacha. [In particular what is written in Shulchan Aruch (68). We see in Orchos Chaim in the name of Neziros Shimshon who writes that according to the Zohar and the writings of the Arizal – the halacha is in accord with the first explanation [that one should not have intent for the sake of pleasure but only for the sake of doing a mitzva]. However according to the second and third explanations [that they should be dressed during intercourse and that it should be done quickly] the opposite is true and there is a prohibition in doing this according to kabbalah. Nevertheless even according to the view of the Shulchan Aruch this is only if done with the full agreement of the wife. And thus is my understanding.

3) One who is intimate with his wife with hugging and other things for the sake of Heaven because he wants to have mercy on her that she shouldn’t be pained and feel abandoned – this will not cause the slightest weakening of his fear of Heaven or succumbing to lust. The opposite is true – it will bring him to holiness (kedusha) and he will be fulfilling the Torah command of imitating G-d. Just as He is merciful so to you should be merciful. Besides that hugging and kissing or any other act of intimacy is an inherent part of the mitzva of onah (conjugal duties) as is explained by the poskim regarding Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 184:10) concerning the obligation when a man goes on a trip just before the time for his wife’s menstrual period. 

4) While it is true that many talmidei chachomm conduct themselves in an ascetic manner in a number of intimate things – but that is only with the complete agreement of his wife and with her forgiveness with a full heart. And this agreement comes in most cases after it is explained to her that in truth her husband loves her and it is only for the sake of heaven that he is restraining himself. Or alternatively she married someone who is known as a tzadik whose reputation compensates for her loss of intimacy with him. But G-d forbid that the husband should conduct himself as an ascetic when it causes pain to his wife who is dependent upon him and does not forgive him whole heartedly concerning that which he is obligated to do for her.

5) Our Sages (Yevamos 62b) say, One who loves his wife as himself and honors her more than himself…is described by the verse "You should know that you will have peace with your wife…." It is important to note that our Sages are not saying to love one's wife with the natural love that man is attracted to a woman but rather to love her with the love that friends have for each other - as someone he knows and has a covenant with him and that they are partners in many things and each one helps and receives help from the other. In addition the love he feels for her should also come from gratitude. He needs to have the clear image in his mind that if he had not gotten a wife and would have remained alone and isolated - how much suffering and pain he would have from this. But now that he has a wife his life is in place and functioning. The significance of gratitude is immeasurably important. In fact our Sages state in the Mishna Rabbi Eliezer (Chapter 7) that all those who lack gratitude to their fellow men will eventually lack gratitude towards G-d. If you look there you will see how extremely stringent they are in this matter. This type of love is what our Sages say a man is obligated to have towards his wife. And again this love does not come from the lust a man has for a woman at all but from one of the good attributes which he is obligated to have. He needs to have this type of love and feeling towards her when he strives to cause her rejoicing at the time of intercourse and well as before and afterwards. Such a relationship is not disgusting – chas v'shalom – but rather it is a mitzva. In fact he should conduct himself in this manner even if he were not obligated by the Torah and surely now that the Torah does obligated it - as we mentioned before.

What does the Gaon Rav Dovid Feinstein Want with His Meeting?

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  • What does Rav Dovid Think of Tamar's Heter?
• Response to my brother's blog daattorah.blogspot.com on Rav Dovid Feinstein.

  
  

  Dovid Eidensohn

  
  

  It seems that the writer of the above feels that Reb Dovid Feinstein is within halachic guidelines if he pronounces Aharon unable to marry and Tamar is married to the new husband. I don't know what mitzvah it is to state the above things that are pure conjecture and I feel they are completely wrong. Anyone who imputes to anyone today the right to consider the Kaminetsky sevorose as halachically binding defies basic Halacha.
  1) First of all, Reb Moshe Feinstein himself says that if he permits a woman to remarry without a GET when she was badly fooled by the husband to marry him, it is only when it is impossible to get a GET. Here Aharon Friedman told me that he is willing to give a GET, and it seems that many people know this. Therefore, Reb Moshe would forbid Tamar from remarrying without a GET.
  2) If Reb Dovid recognizes Tamar's new marriage, he is arguing with his father.
  3) And if his father is opposed to Tamar, who in the world is there who backs Tamar's remarriage? Is Reb Dovid greater than his father and the Noda Biyehuda I:80 who says that even in cases where it is obvious that the woman was fooled by a terrible man to marry her, she cannot remarry without a GET? Does Reb Dovid disagree with the Noda Biyehuda and his father Reb Moshe?
  4) And if Reb Dovid decides to go his own way and pasken against the Noda Biyehuda, the Kovna Rov, both who were gedolei hador generations before Reb Dovid, does this mean he does not believe in ruling like the majority which is usually the case (Choshen Mishpot 25:2 see Gro 18 many sources to this)?
  5) And if Reb Dovid does feel that he can rule against the Noda Biyehuda, Kovna Rov, Beis HaLevi who ruled that one cannot remarry without a GET even in these extreme situations, what does he do with the Mahari ben Leib, considered by some the rebbe of the Beis Yosef, who writes in his teshuva sefer4 19 3 "When we adjudicate about allowing a woman to marry and there is a question if she is permitted to marry because rabbis argue, we are stringent not to allow her to marry even if most rabbis are lenient." Surely if most rabbis are stringent we don't allow her to remarry. But if Reb Dovid agrees with Reb Shmuel, he is a minority against the vast majority of earlier generations and today. What right does he have to even consider this, if he does? Of course, I don't know why he is doing what he is doing, and maybe he has something worthwhile to say for that. But it surely is suspicious nine days of nothing for what?
  6)If Reb Dovid says that he disagrees with the Mahari ben Leib what does he do with a Tosfose in Kesubose 2A that says the same thing, that although in other cases we would be lenient, if we are talking about a woman marrying someone who is forbidden to be with her, and a sin is committed constantly, we can be strict.
  7) The entire episode of Reb Dovid lending his name to someone who has been exposed in the worst way by rabbis throughout the world as one who permits a woman to remarry with no honest halalcha backing, is a first rate chilul Hashem. It will completely destroy respect for Reb Dovid and anyone who will agree with him. Why did he get involved in this?
  8) I don't know. And maybe he did it under pressure from the Agudah, because they, and only they, have a dog in this fight. If RSK is not able to redeem his reputation, and the Agudah is unable to get rid of him, the Agudah is besmirched. The fact that the Agudah is not expelling him when all of the great rabbis in the world have declared him as a mamzer maker tells us something. If Reb Dovid wants to work with them, he is finished with me. I am a close Talmid of his father and got a very warm haskomo from him for my seforim, but if Reb Moshe's son wants to join the evil doers, he is finished with me and with a lot of other people. What a terrible thing. Let us hope he pulls out of this before he does something he will regret. There are people who are famous for their learning and so nobody wants to tell them the truth. Well, I will tell him the truth, here, and in the future. Let him be warned.
  Dovid Eidensohn
  Haskomo from Reb Moshe Feinstein zt"l on my seforim:
  This Rav haGaon (me) is known to me for many years as one who delves very deeply to clarify complicated halochose.
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Halacha of Marital Intimacy - Rav Shlomo Wolbe on my Brother's Blog

taken from Daattorah.blogspot.com - emphasis added

Rav Shlomo Wolbe: Importance of sexual satisfaction - and not just focusing on doing a mitzva

Igros Kodesh (#4):  Question: How to avoid emission of sperm while asleep at night when his wife is a nida and also during the time when she is permitted to him? Answer: I am forced to answer even though it is very difficult to clarify the matter in a written reply. From his letter I got the impression that he needs guidance in the broader topic of what is the nature of married life. Marital relations need to be such that he is sexually satisfied even during the time when he needs to separate from his wife because of nida. Thus we are not talking about the number of times of intercourse but rather the quality of the sexual relationship.

Young men, especially those who are serious about spiritual development, think that sanctifying oneself during sexual intercourse can only mean that one needs to minimize lust and sexual feelings as much as possible. But this is a complete mistake as can be seen from the enlightening comments of Rashi (Nida 17a). Also please look at the Rokeach (Jerusalem edition page 27a) who cites Nedarim (20b) that everything that a man wants to do with his wife he can do in order that he won’t have any interest in other women. 

We see clearly that sexual relations need to be so satisfying until all other women are in his eyes as hens and he absolutely no desire to even look at them. This is also implied by the statement of Chazal concerning the reward for those husband who prolong physical contact with their wives after intercourse is finished. Thus we see the need for intercourse to be intense and satisfying – and not done merely to fulfill one's obligation and similar extrinsic matters. And therefore if a person is concerned for the quality of intercourse itself, I am sure that he will be so satieted and satisfied that lust will not be a problem even during the period of nida. 

Aside from this he needs to strengthen his Torah study. That means not merely study with a book but to train his thoughts to be involved with thoughts of Torah study. For example before he leaves his house or yeshiva to organize Torah issues to think about until he reaches his destination and that he shouldn’t be empty of Torah even when he walking in the street. 

And regarding not looking at women – there is the advice of the Gra that one should pray before leaving to go into the street – that G-d should guard him from all aspects of sin including sinful thoughts until he reaches his destination (See Orchos Chaim #135 at the end of the Gra’s Siddur). 

Furthermore he should learn with joy and not to worry or fear at all. That is because worry and fear just arouse the mind and nocturnal emssions –G-d forbid. And with G-d’s help if he conducts himself as I have described he will see success.

Meeting about Rabbis Kaminetsky and Greenblatt - My Comments

It has now been a few days that the world has been alerted to the meeting of Rabbi Dovid Feinstein and several other rabbis to do something about the situation with Tamar Epstein. Interested parties are Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky and probably Rabbi N. Greenblatt. But after a few days, nobody knows anything that has transpired. People are wondering. Here are my comments.

First of all, since around Yom Kippur past, the world has been notified that Tamar has remarried. Many rabbis have strongly protested. But nothing happened. Now, why is there a meeting of prominent rabbis now? Does RSK think that Rabbi Dovid Feinstein will support him in what he did? If Reb Dovid or any rabbi does that, the rabbi has lost his credibility big time. For Reb Dovid the situation is in more precarious than for other rabbis. Because Reb Moshe his father clearly states that although there are grounds to terminate a marriage in certain emergency situations, this holds true only if the husband refuses to give a GET. However, in the Tamar case, everyone knows that the husband will give a GET if he can be sure of getting custody of his daughter in a meaningful way, meaning that Tamar will have to move back to Washington or Baltimore. Therefore, if Reb Dovid backs the Heter, he is defying his father, which is ridiculous to contemplate. (I have spoke to Aharon about this several times.)

If so, why is there this meeting? Who wanted it and what did they expect from it? Here is my take on it.

I was told that the Nevominsker Rebbe was involved in this, but I don't know, and it seems that nobody knows if any of this is true. But my thoughts coincide with this as I will explain.

We want to know who arranged this meeting. And, simultaneously, we want to know what the arranger wanted from the meeting. Phrased a big differently: What normal person would get involved  in this mess? Why?

I believe that the pressure for this meeting comes from only one group that is desperate to straighten things out, and that is Agudas Yisroel. It is now accepted in the world that RSK did a terrible and wrong thing. But who cares? RSK is a very old man with a very long history of doing important things for the Torah world. Even if he did something wrong at this stage, he has enough students and disciples to survive, even though perhaps most people will reject his "gadluse." And furthermore, for RSK to call such a meeting that has a very small chance of accepting his destruction of Tamar, makes no sense. So who would call this meeting and who is so desperate to call it when it makes no sense for anybody to anticipate anything from it?

The Agudah must straighten this out, because it has clearly marked Reb Shmuel as a major Gadol in Klal Yisroel and one of their great rabbis. In the event that times go on and more and more people are asking why RSK is still silent about Tamar, this will impact more on the Agudah than it will on RSK and his son, who really don't care about what people say about them. I heard this from a Rov who heard it from RSK, that people say this and that about him and he doesn't care. I heard it also from another source.

I am not a friend of the Agudah. I recall that some years back they backed the gays in a defense bill in Washington. I think it was the only religious group that backed the gays. Around that time, I called up two of the senior Roshei Yeshiva of Agudah and asked them to help out with fighting the gays. They both said the exact same words that "it is forbidden to fight gays" and when I asked why they said, "Because we are against hate."

Now, I don't know about the Roshei Yeshiva of the Agudah, but I say a posuk when the Torah is taken from the Aron HaKodesh that says קומה השם ויפצו איביך וינסו משנאיך מפניו . Who in the world is greater enemy of the Torah than the gays who defy the biblical ban on homosexuality?

I have a friend whose wife took him to a secular court. The judge ordered him to give a GET or go to jail. The friend told me that he called up a prominent person in the Agudah and was told that they don't get involved in such things. (After all, they are busy helping gays.)

It is time to go beyond the Agudah. It is a new world and the Chofetz Chaim and Reb Aharon Kotler don't work there any more. Reb Shmuel does, and he has some friends.

The issue is whether or not RSK is a gadol or not. If he is not, he must be removed from the Agudah's rabbinic leadership. But if he has destroyed a yesoma and maybe her child, how can be stay a Gadol? And will the Agudah support women who follow Tamar?

My personal opinion is that there is no kosher way to solve this, and it is likely that whoever pressured these rabbis to have this meeting to save the Agudah or whatever has just made things worse. I don't even know how there can be a revealed end to this meeting. Unless they announce that they have solved everything but it is a secret. That is ridiculous, but the whole meeting is ridiculous. There is no way to have such a meeting and promote RSK as a Gadol and keep Tamar married and having children. But if the Agudah backed the gays in the defense bill, who knows what they will do for their political problems? They needed gays because the big politicians are liberals. That means money for Yeshivas and power for the Agudah. So why not throw out the Torah a second time and announce that RSK is a gadol and everyone must accept it.

I won't.

My brother reports on his blog - A New Beth Din for RSK and RNG

A new Beth Din for RSK and RNG. I have this to say:

A lot of people have a pretty good idea of what RSK did, and what RNG did, and if there is any effort to wash them clean from the anti-halacha things they did, I will protest on my blog torahhalacha.blogspot.com and if my brother allows it, on this blog. And I won't be the only one.

These three people can protest that it is not a real Beth Din, and that it is just there to restore the reputation of two rabbis who have the worst reputation. But the rest of us don't have these goals. And we are waiting. But if they are doing this leshaim shomayim, they will surely merit what I can't imagine, that things will work out for them and for everyone else.

But I am waiting, and as I said, all of us are waiting, and we have had enough of the "great rabbis" and their inventions. This is going to stop one way or the other. The stopping has already begun by rabbis who have nothing to do with this meeting. I am prepared to make war on "Gedolim" leadership if they come up with a whitewash of people who did terrible sins to other people and to the Shulchan Aruch. We can't have a world where prominent people can do every sin and get away with it.

Guest Post - American Women in Military and Draft

by Yomim Postelnik

Regarding women and the draft (and make no mistake, Selective Service registration is for a draft if needed, and one day it might be) aside from going against the morals of any society at any time, it would by nature promote mass rape on the battlefield.

Normal people don't do what happened in Abu Ghraib and battle circumstances change the nature of many. No, not all and not even the majority, but a wartime draft would subject thousands of women to rape.

Don't believe me? I'm just a wingnut?

Fine..... look at college campuses and accept that many allegations are fabricated. How many rapes occur there per year - under far less grueling circumstances than war?

I did not understand the seriousness of this until Rabbi Dovid Eidensohn started a blog on the issue that points out the crucial details that get lost when every issue is spoken of in genteel sophistry.

Please see his writings on the subject -http://womenmakewar.blogspot.com/. He told me in conversation that the Chazon Ish offered to give his life to Hashem in order for there to be no draft of girls in Israel. He passed shortly after, saying right before that it will never be forced on the people because of the spiritual war that many launched (it's on the books but has never and will never be actually forced on women - over there). This is similar to the Lubavitcher Rebbe's offer of giving his life for Jewish security there a month and a half before his stroke.

I know that there are some people who mistakenly use the guise of "women's rights" to promote abortion on demand (infanticide if the mother's life is not at risk), divorce as one upmanship, gender wars under false pretenses and everything else, but do these same Al Sharpton style gender warmongers (most decent people agree with Equal Pay, equal rights in all matters and recognize different natures - remember it's conservatives who say that children need both a Mommy and Daddy and libs who say that two of either or three of each is just as good or better).

But do they now want to promote the wholesale rape of thousands of women for the sake of Political Correctness??!

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Yomin Postelnik
(954) 701-716

What is the Halacha about Biological Desire?

by Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

Years ago, at my son's wedding in Israel, I met someone who had at the wedding become my mechuton, the great Gaon and Tsadik Rav Mayer Bransdorfer. I tried to talk to him in learning during the wedding, but there was too much noise. So the next day, which was Friday, I went to his house and sat with him for an hour. Finally, I told  him it was late and I had no right to detain him any longer just before Shabbos. He was very friendly, walked me to the door and said, "You have the sources, but we don't do things that way."

Before I go further, I want to say that I agree with him when he said "we don't do things that way" but I am also right, that the sources say like me. If that sounds confusing, let me explain.

The laws of intimacy in marriage in the poskim and Shulchan Aruch, contain two opposite thoughts. One is "anything a man wants to do with his wife he can do" and the other thought is to encourage a man to act in a modest and holy fashion. These two are contradictions, major contradictions.

But there are two types of people. One has biological urges that can overpower him. Another person does not have these urges. One lives in America or other treifeh places that swarm with Yetser Hora, and some live in some super-holy neighborhood in Israel. These two opposite kind of people have the opposite kind of halacha in marital intimacy. Americans and those who have biological tendencies that are problems are encouraged "all that a man wants to do with his wife he can do." If he does not do these things, who knows what sins he will commit? I once was told to speak to a certain person. I spoke to him and he blurted out to me how much problems he has. Eventually, he acted upon these problems and ruined his life. You can't mess with the Yetser. So, people with problems have got to stay away from problems, and one way is to do with your wife whatever you sense yourself wanting to do. Maybe there are some limits but the Shulchan Aruch and Rambam are not clear about what the limits are. So we will leave this for your imagination. But for somebody without these drives, why not embrace holiness? Of course, everyone must make their wife happy, that is a posuk in the Torah. But beyond that, there are different people and different halochose.

Somebody asked me about some weird acts, and I didn't respond to him right away. But he kept at it, and it was obvious that he was struggling. Then he told me about his Yetser Hora and his base drives. When he told me this I said, "A person who has such drives and fights them is looking to jump into the fire. Better to satisfy yourself with your wife than doing what else you really want to do."

We have begun our discussion. If anyone has questions about these laws, call me at 845-578-1917 or write to me at dddeid@verizon.net. I don't know you personally and may not be able to know always what you should do, but I will try my best, and maybe after some discussion, I will be able to tell you my opinion.

Thank you,
Dovid Eidensohn

America is at War, Generals are Calling for a Draft for Women, and Torah Jews don't care?

First paragraph from Fox News:

The top Army and Marine Corps generals told senators Tuesday that it will take up to three years to fully integrate women into all combat jobs, adding that women also should have to register for the draft. (Emphasis mine as is rest of article)

A woman drafted in the army is יהרג ואל יעבור a capital crime. Women drafted for the army will kill themselves. And those who don't kill themselves right away may do so after they are raped, as there is a large amount of sexual abuse done to women in colleges and surely the military. See our articles on this on our two blogs, torahhalacha.blogspot.com and womenmakewar.blogspot.com . 

There are those who say there will never be a draft. But the United States now is fighting in various parts of the world, in Iraq and Syria. The Russians have sliced a good peace of land from a neighboring country and fly aggressively near American planes. America just sent billions of dollars of large military equipmenet to various countries near Russia because they are afraid of the Russians. Who says there won't be fighting? And who says there won't be a draft?

China is expanding its control of land claimed by Japan. America is committed to defending Japan. Who says there won't be a war? Who says there won't be a draft?

ISIS is fighting in various countries. America is fighting them. Who says there won't be a draft? And if American woman are drafted to fight ISIS, who guarantees that ISIS will not capture an American woman? 

Let's just keep dreaming. It is nicer than knowing the truth. But when the truth comes, and you're not ready for it, what will you do then?

ראוי לנדותו הרשע גמור שמואל קמנצקי המרבה ממזרים בישראל

What happens if she is pregnant?

What is Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky waiting for? If a baby is born, it will be a mamzer, which is not the baby's fault and not Tamar's fault, completely. It is completely the fault of the Rosho Gomur Shmuel Kaminetsky who convinced a yesoma to leave her husband and marry without a GET and make a mamzer. For such a thing SK deserves to be put in Cherem. At least, those who do not make actual cherems may publicize

ראוי לנדותו הרשע שמואל קמנצקי

This morning I called up Rabbi Noteh Greenblatt and asked him about the tape of Rabbi Hershel Shechter stating that he spoke to Rabbi Greenblatt and told him that the Heter of Tamir was wrong because of this and that, and that Rabbi Greenblatt replied, "If I would have known that, I would not have permitted Tamar to marry." Who told Rabbi Greenblatt these fantastic reasons to permit a woman to remarry without a GET, something that all rabbonim strongly oppose, other than the Kaminetsky clan. The tape is on my brother's blog.

Rav Feival Kohen - Tamar is Still Married to Aharon Friedman and Must Leave Her New "husband"

From my brother's blog daattorah.blogspot.comMonday, January 18, 2016

Rav Feivel Cohen rules heter is worthless and Tamar needs to separate from new husband

This is the psak din and halachic ruling written by one of the most senior poskim in the Litvish American world. This is written after he went through all the details, and ruled very clearly that she has a obligation to separate from her new husband and needs a get from the first one.

It's k'dai to note, that R elyashiv respected him, and relied on him on many subjects.

Tamar: Any Hope? What Should We Do?

By Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

People ask me frequently: Tamar, is there any hope? What should we do?

Here are my thoughts.

First of all, the only way to end this is for Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky to admit that he and his son engaged in lies and halachic distortions in order to create a Hetar for Tamar. This will never happen. Why? Because Tamar was a yesoma, without a father; her mother a widow without a husband. They obeyed their rabbi, RSK. Instead of giving the daughter stronger visitation with the father, Tamar was told to rely on RSK and his son to do something incredible, to imagine that her marriage disappeared. And she did it. Can RSK and son now admit that they were wrong and that Tamar will have a baby mamzer? I don’t think they will do it, although they will go to Gehenum for not doing it.

Second of all, RSK is ninety years old. If he reaches the stage where he can no longer clearly admit that he made a mistake, that is the end of the line. That is, there are people around who consider Rabbis Kaminetsky and Greenblatt their main rabbis. As long as these older people don’t admit their mistake, rabbis and women can decide to just take a powder from the marriages. This will create many mamzerim and will be a disaster for Klal Yisroel.

Third of all, all of us have to fight this mamzer problem and destroy the fiction and lies propagated by the Kaminetsky clan. At this point, all of the major rabbis who have spoken out on this issue, and there are many from Israel, America and Canada, the cream of the crop, have clearly stated that Tamar’s child will be a mamzer. One way is to copy this post and distribute it and to publicize the websites of me and my brother. My blog is torahhalacha.blogspot.com and my brother’s blogspot is daattorah.blogspot.com .

When the Jews under Yehoshua entered Israel after they escaped from Egypt, they came to the Jordan River. There Yehoshua told the Jews that they must be ready to enter Canaan and to battle for the land of Israel. He stated, according to the gemora in Sota 34A, that if they all go and battle for the land, fine, and if nobody goes, Joshua will go himself! Now, Joshua fighting all of the tribes in Canaan who were known to be great fighters may sound very ambitious. But once HaShem promised the land to the Jews, whoever fights, even one person, will merit HaShem’s help.

Thus it is with us. We live in a generation that tolerated the abominations of the Kaminetskies for a long time. And now it is waking up. My brother and I fought this long before other rabbis came aboard. And we are prepared to go on until this is smashed and destroyed. We owe this to the babies who will come into the world mamzerim and ask, “Why did you not save me from being a mamzer?”

All Talmidei Chachomim must publicly protest against Heter of Tamar - Rav Shternbuch

from my brother's blog Reb Moshe Sternbuch's new letter on the heter of Tamar to remarry without a GET

More Gedolim Protest Tamar Heter

Rav Shmuel Auerbach joins other gedolim in protesting Kaminetsky-Greenblatt Heter

Looks Like Women Might be Drafted in American Military - Important Study on Women and Men in College and Widespread Abuse of Women

click below and open the link then click on the link for the hundreds of pages about men abusing women at Harvard and surely this will take place when Obama drafts women into the American military.


Westat_majorreport_forHarvard_Assault

Babbling of Reb Shmuel Kaminetsky's Students

Today my brother posted a new letter from the students of Rabbi Kaminetsky.It says that the second letter, that is, the part of it that I quote, is a forgery. Oh well, oh well. The rest of this post is from the second letter before it was claimed by some to be a forgery.

Let me make an appeal to some student who cares about Reb Shmuel. Ninety year old people can't stand this. Please call me. Why me? Because I was the major force in fighting Reb Shmuel for years. But I fought him leshaim shomayim. There was nothing personal just the attack on what he did with Gittin. Now I want to help settle this thing before it is serious. If you don't want to call me, I don't blame you, but I have to do what is possible, and this is it.

My brother posted an updated letter backing Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky from many of his students who have prominent Torah positions in Israel and America. There are two versions of the students' defense of Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky. The second one adds the following: [The original is on my brother's blog daattorah.blogspot.com and I add my translation here:] And we [the students] do hereby protest with all of our strength the shame of the Torah of our rebbe the glory of the generation. And whoever argues with the rebbe's decision is as one who argues with the Schechina. And even though many great in Torah and Torah scholars have criticized his pesak decision, nonetheless the Torah says, Do not turn aside from the thing that they will tell you right or left and we find in Sifri even if things appear to you that their left is really the right or that their right is really the left obey them."

My understanding is that two major rabbonim visited Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky to protest his encouraging Tamar to marry without a GET and they got him to sign a paper that he no longer supports her remarriage without a GET. Now this letter tells us that anyone who attacks Rabbi Kaminetsky is as if he argues with the Schechina. Now, did Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky sign a leter than he did not encourage Tamar to remarry? If so, what is this letter of the students all about? Either Rabbi Kaminetsky signed a lie or his students never heard about his signing a paper, and they think he still backs Tamar to remarry without a GET.

And if as I understand Rabbi Shalom Kaminetsky the son of Reb Shmuel was the main force of getting Tamar to remarry without a GET after Reb Shmuel signed a letter that he did not back her remarriage, the real issue is not with Reb Shmuel but with Reb Shalom. And if anyone who argues with Reb Shalom is as if he argued with the Schechinah, and if anyone who disagrees with Reb Shalom is violating chazal because Reb Shalom is the greatest sage of the generation, then these students really have it mixed up.

This is an incredible situation. A person whose whole life was being a Rosh Yeshiva in a very senior Yeshiva, and when it comes to defend him, nobody will say one word to explain why he did what all rabbis who will discuss it publicly are saying is making mamzerim.

Basically, if Reb Shmuel had a leg to stand on, these many Torah scholar scholar students could surely have put together a proper response, in pure halachic terms, why Reb Shmuel or Reb Shalom were right in what they did. Obviously, no such thing exists, and the students, with nothing to say to support Reb Shmuel or Reb Shalom, are reduced to babbling.

Rav Chaim Malinowitz Strongly Attacks Rabbi Feldman's contention that blogs are worse than AISHESS ISH

FROM MY BROTHER'S BLOG  Daattorah.blogspot.com
Rav Chaim Malinowitz: Rav Feldman is mistakenly transforming this outrage against the Torah into a mere dispute of poskim

Guest Post

 

The tragedy of Rav Feldman's letter , besides the emotional reference of some unspecified behavior by unspecified people being worse than being mattir an eishess ish to remarry without a Get (!) , is, in my opinion, the language in the letter relegating what has occurred to - "I respectfully disagree". The damage done by such a weak description is incalculable.

We now have a machlokess what berachah to make on rice cakes ; a machlokess about the shiur of a kezayis; and a machlokess about allowing an eishess ish to remarry without a Get based on a hired person (hired by one party) writing a report about another party's mental health without ever meeting that second party and then using that report to shop around till someone is found who will pasken that no one but no one would ever deign to live with such a person (despite the first party actually having done so for a significant period of time) and who will actually allow remarriage without a Get;  and this without a proper investigation that this "condition" actually existed at the time of the kiddushin!; and  all this without the presence or knowledge of the second party (who certainly needs to be heard from by  a Bais Din as to what he has to say to the claim of mekach to'us (may we assume that it is no worse than if I sold you a tape recorder and you claim mekach to'us?) ; and  with everyone subsequently denying that they were mattir (wasn't me, it was him; no, it wasn't me, it was him; no, no,  it wasn't me, it was him)

And this, I now read, is simply a disagreement between Poskim!

Talking about "worse"-- the cover-up is worse than the crime.

Rav Chaim Zev Malinowitz

Brisker Rosh Yeshiva says that Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky May not Teach Torah

Rabbi Aharon Feldman: Tamar’s Heter and “Bizoyone HaTorah”

By Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

Rabbi Aharon Feldman, the Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Israel Yeshiva, is  heavily involved in the remarriage of Tamar Epstein Friedman. He disagrees with those who permit Tamar to remarry without a GET, as he writes in his first letter:  “Because of all these considerations, in my humble opinion, the heter of Rabbi Greenblatt mentioned before can not be relied upon at all. Consequently Tamar retains the status of being a definitely married woman. Therefore she is prohibited in marriage to all men until these matters are dealt with in beis din according to the halacha. And in the mean time she needs to leave her second "husband" and if she becomes pregnant from him the children are viewed as mamzerim.”

[My comment on this – Briefly, the Heter is invalid and Tamar must leave her new husband and if she has a child from him the child will be a mamzer. We now continue with Rabbi Feldman’s remarks]

I now request that  you join me in my protest against the heter  - if you think what I said is correct. While I feel it is important to protest this heter to stop adultery,  but doing it by myself without the support of a group of talmudic scholars  my protest will not be accepted and effective.  My urgent concern is that this heter will open the floodgates for the ignorant in our country to decide to annul marriages in a similar problematic manner to this one. That will result in the destruction (G-d forbid!) of the holiness of the Jewish people. As you know, up until now there have been various attempts of certain rabbis who are basically ignorant of Jewish law and who have not served an apprenticeship with expert rabbis. However they have been stopped by the protest of the rabbinic leadership of our communities. However this heter is different. Since it has been issued by Rabbi Greenblatt - who is recognized as important and expert Torah scholars in these matters - the opposition to improper heterim will fall apart if there is no protest.

In addition to the danger posed because the heter has been produced by Rabbi Greenblatt, in the eyes of the public Rabbi Greenblatt  is viewed as being supported in producing the heter by one of the senior rosh yeshivos (Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky) of the present generation as well as his son ( Rabbi Sholom Kaminetsky) who is also a distinguished Torah scholar. Despite the fact that the Kaminetskys deny this, there is no question that many will rely on these rumors to permit the nullification of the status of being a married woman by means of this heter. That is because they think gedolim have clearly supported this heter.” [My remarks on this – Since this new threat to family values comes not from discredited or extreme leftist Orthodox rabbis but from noted Torah scholars, it is important that the public be informed by many scholars that despite Rabbis Greenblatt and Kaminetsky approving the marriage, it is invalid, the couple must separate and a child born to them without a GET will be a mamzer. Rabbi Feldman publicizes the invalid Tamar marriage and the invalid Heter for it so that the influence of two major rabbis be negated and Tamar will not be accepted in her new marriage. From all of this it seems obvious that when my blog publicized the evil in Tamar remarrying without a GET, I should have had thanks from Rabbi Feldman. Indeed, for years when this battle between husband and wife went on, and the option of remarriage without a GET became public knowledge, I was the only one in America publicly denouncing it. For this major Torah scholars in various countries called me and congratulated me. But there was a fear for them to publicly attack these very prominent rabbis. Now, it seems, great pressure has been put upon Rabbi Aharon Feldman, and he has kept his decision that Tamar is living in sin and her child will be a mamzer from the second man. But he has decided that the blogs that attacked “gedolim” are “worse than Aishess Ish.” Because by attacking prominent rabbis they make "bizoyone haTorah." Well, it is a mitsvah in the Torah to remove the wicked from teaching Torah and to publicize that they are not truly religious people. Otherwise, they will make many women into adultery and many children mamzerim. Can there be a greater mitsvah than saving children and women from making and being mamzerim? Rabbi Feldman is being pressured by the enormous Kaminetsky lobby and he speaks here and there.

Fortunately, at the exact time that Rabbi Feldman’s signed third letter came out with this attack on the blogs, a letter came out from the Gaon Rav Avrohom Yehoshua Soloveitchik, the Rosh Yeshiva in Brisk in Israel. He writes bitterly of what Rabbis Greenblatt and Kaminetsky did and concludes that it is forbidden for anyone to study Torah under Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky because he is a wicked man:

מחאה של הגאון ר' א,י,סולובייצ'יק ר'י בריסק: [דהיינו הגאון רבי אברהם יהושע ר"י בריסק בארץ ישראל]

 נפל דבר בישראל

 באמריקה התירו אשת איש לשוק רח"ל בלא גט

 זהו נבלה ממש

 וחוץ מעצם הענין שאין רוצוני ליכנס בזה שהוא באמת חמור מאוד

הרי אף במקום שצריך ליכנס להתיר עגונות ישבו רבותינו האחרונים שבעה נקיים עד שהוציא פסק

וגם בזה לא היה להם די והתנו ההיתר בהצטרפות עוד גדולים

 וכאן עושים כאילו הוא דבר של מה בכך

ורשעים במחשך מעשיהם התירו ולא התירו

כאן בארץ ישראל כשרצו להתיר שני ממזרים הפכו את העולם

חובה גמורה על הרבנים וראשי הישיבות באמריקא לזעוק צעקה גדולה על זה

והרי זהו אחריות עצומה על כל המשך הדורות באמריקה כי זה פתח לכל מיני רבנציקעש שיוכלו לעשות ככל העולה על רוחם

הכל בא מהקולדז וכו’

ואסור ללמוד אצל ראש הישיבה כזה וכמבואר ברמב"ם על הרב שאינו הולך בדרך טובה.

The Brisker Rosh Yeshiva Rav Soloveitchik clearly says that the Rosh Yeshiva of Philadelphia Rabbi Kaminetsky is wicked and may not teach Torah there. We have to see about his son Reb Shalom and Rabbi Noto Greenblatt, who performed the marriage on Tamar and her new husband while she was still married to Aharon Friedman. I personally feel that  people who take Tamar Epstein, a yesoma, a woman without a father, and whose mother is an almono, a widow, and encourage  her ito marry without a GET, are wicked people. . As far as studying in Philadelphia Yeshiva, what if the Kaminetsky family decides to marry Tamar’s mamzerim to a Yeshiva student? 

My comments on my brother's blog about Rabbis Kaminetsky and Greenblatt

My brother wrote on his blog daattorah.blogspot.com: As everyone knows, the storm resulting from the phony heter to Tamar Epstein has been going on for a while.  R Shalom Kaminetsky's campaign to manipulate Rav Greenblatt to declare the marriage invalid worked only for a while. However a wide range of major rabbis - including Rav Chaim Kaminetsky - have condemned this heter and declared Tamar as still being married to her first husband and thus committing adultery with her 2nd husband. It has clearly been publicly declared by these rabbis that persuading a psychiatrist to write an invalid report - is a a major danger to the Orthodox community and the institution of marriage.

The question is why the issue has not been settled with a retraction of the heter by Rabbi Greenblatt and a rejection of the heter by Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky and his son? Why is the issue dragging on? Why isn't an ultimatum being given to the above - to either comply or be publicly denounced?

The answer unfortunately is not a pretty one. Because if a ultimatum was delivered to the above rabbis - there is a good possibility that they would not comply. After all they have "Daas Torah" or as Rav Greenblatt says "I followed the Shulchan Aruch" and it doesn't matter to him whether the facts are true or not. He views the heter as being independent of how it was obtained and that only thing that matters is that he issued a  psak that Tamar can remarry. Similarly Rav Kaminetsky sees no reason to condemn the heter because was issued by a "bar samcha" Rav Greenblatt and so it doesn't matter if the basis is a pack of lies. In short neither cares whether the heter was obtained through falsely proclaiming that Aharon Friedman  suffers from extreme incurable mental illness that disqualifies him from ever being able to marry.

Thus the real answer why there is no ultimatum is because we have a serious problem here of codependency. What is ultimately preventing the resolution - and the reason that the Moetzes Gedolei Torah will never get involved - is the issue of the priority of  our rabbinic leaders. While Torah and halacha are truly important but there is a greater concern for these rabbis. They view that the system itself is in danger if major gedolim are declared to be in open rebellion against the Torah. These rabbis will never do anything that is perceived as an attack on gedolim. They believe that  faith in gedolim (and daas Torah) is more important to preserve than faith in G-d and Torah! Or rather that faith in G-d and Torah must be through faith in the gedolim.

Unfortunately, by publicly declaring that the heter is false and that a major breach in Torah has occurred - they can't conceal from the public that the agents of this breach are in fact gedolim. The longer they hesitate the greater is the loss of faith in gedolim and the greater the cynicism is amongst the masses - including the yeshivos and seminaries. 

In short, since they have gone public with the existence of a major breach - they can not avoid following that to its logical conclusion. But they lack nerve and don't want to be perceived as the ones who destroyed the public status of revered gedolim - Rav Greenblatt and Rav Kaminetsky. End of my brother's comments.

I have two small comments. One is that among the letters published by major rabbis there were clear attacks on the lies and the anti-halacha content of the heter to Tamar. Whether these attacks should be followed by stronger ones is delicate, because some of the letters cannot be written any stronger. If you call somebody a liar and remote from Halacha, what is the next thing to say? And if you want to put him in cherem, why didn't you do this immediately when you realized that his entire HETER is a lie and remote from halacha?

Number two is a personal thought. I learned and spoke frequently with HaGaon Reb Aharon Kotler and the Gaon Reb Moshe Feinstein. One thing I noticed was that very few if any of the many people who were able to speak to them did so. Reb Moshe was frequently queried about halacha, but to just speak to him and learn more that I didn't see in Monsey where I used to talk to him when he came frequently to visit his daughter with his rebbetsin. And after a while, I realized that I had nothing to do with the new world of Torah. I spent the next few years pestering any gadol who came my way, but the way  things were developing didn't interest me. 

Then I got interested in Gittin and ended up talking to the Gaon Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashev zt"l. Actually, we had made in Monsey a Beth Din to make Gittin for Russians who had no Rov there, and it was done under Rav Elyashev, because who could pasken those shaalose? Finally I went to Israel and spoke to the Gaon at length about a new topic he was concerned with, the Get Law of New York State. I went into him with a list of questions and when it was over I asked him for his name for my Beth Din and he gave it. The years spent with Reb Aharon and Reb Moshe prepared me. And then I found out that some major Torah authorities who did not pester every Gadol they could were making invalid and forced Gittin. 

The last few years I have been fighting furiously with these "gedolim" and what is happening now is not news to me at all. Rabbis who are Rosh Yeshivas or Rosh Kollelim or dayanim who did not study intensely under true Gedolim invented the term Gadol to mean them, not the real Gedolim. So what do we expect?

Number three which should be number one but I had to prepare the ground, was the following episode. In Monsey a video store once opened in the main shopping district. I went to the Magid of Jerusalem Rav Schwadron after he had spoken somewhere and told him. He ignored me completely, actually professionally, because he was a disciple of Rav Lapian who could speak six hours straight and keep the audience. I repeated myself, and he kept the frozen face that said I didn't exist. Then I raised my voice, and said, "Rebbe! Hashchoso!" He was waiting for that. He was a master mashgiach and they specialized in teaching by "putting you in the sack." 

Suddenly, he came alive, his eyes flashing, his hands moving professionally until he pointed at my face and said, "A Yeshiva is hashchoso!" I felt myself falling, falling, falling. A still voice said to me, "Just be quiet. He said this in public. Now he must explain this." And I just stood there. When Rav Schwadron saw how he had stunned me with his comment he laughed and said in Yiddish "that shut his mouth" which sounds much nicer in the Yiddish that he used. (We had bantered just before this and he owed me one.) Then he starting explaining. He talked about the present system and how it produces frustration. At any rate, if we keep it simple, the Yeshiva system is producing problems, and why this is is a long discussion. But by realizing that a Yeshiva is hashchoso, I concentrated in my family and teaching everyone that times had changed and we have to do things in the old fashioned matter, to the best of our ability, because what goes on today is a problem.

Later on, at my son's wedding I met a major Gadol and told him my various complaints about the system. When I told him about "A Yeshiva is hashchoso" he became enthused. I was shocked. I asked my son about this and he said, "Tatee, he always talks like that."

Tamar's Heter: Protecting Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky is more important than protecting the Torah

from my brother Rabbi Dr. Daniel Eidensohn on his blog daattorah.blogspot.com. My comments will follow on a second post. Dovid Eidensohn.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Tamar's Heter: Protecting Rav Shmuel Kaminetsy is more important than protecting the Torah

As everyone knows, the storm resulting from the phony heter to Tamar Epstein has been going on for a while.  R Shalom Kaminetsky's campaign to manipulate Rav Greenblatt to declare the marriage invalid worked only for a while. However a wide range of major rabbis - including Rav Chaim Kaminetsky - have condemned this heter and declared Tamar as still being married to her first husband and thus committing adultery with her 2nd husband. It has clearly been publicly declared by these rabbis that persuading a psychiatrist to write an invalid report - is a a major danger to the Orthodox community and the institution of marriage.

The question is why the issue has not been settled with a retraction of the heter by Rabbi Greenblatt and a rejection of the heter by Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky and his son? Why is the issue dragging on? Why isn't an ultimatum being given to the above - to either comply or be publicly denounced?

The answer unfortunately is not a pretty one. Because if a ultimatum was delivered to the above rabbis - there is a good possibility that they would not comply. After all they have "Daas Torah" or as Rav Greenblatt says "I followed the Shulchan Aruch" and it doesn't matter to him whether the facts are true or not. He views the heter as being independent of how it was obtained and that only thing that matters is that he issued a  psak that Tamar can remarry. Similarly Rav Kaminetsky sees no reason to condemn the heter because was issued by a "bar samcha" Rav Greenblatt and so it doesn't matter if the basis is a pack of lies. In short neither cares whether the heter was obtained through falsely proclaiming that Aharon Friedman  suffers from extreme incurable mental illness that disqualifies him from ever being able to marry.

Thus the real answer why there is no ultimatum is because we have a serious problem here of codependency. What is ultimately preventing the resolution - and the reason that the Moetzes Gedolei Torah will never get involved - is the issue of the priority of  our rabbinic leaders. While Torah and halacha are truly important but there is a greater concern for these rabbis. They view that the system itself is in danger if major gedolim are declared to be in open rebellion against the Torah. These rabbis will never do anything that is perceived as an attack on gedolim. Thy believe that  faith in gedolim (and daas Torah) is more important to preserve than faith in G-d and Torah! Or rather that faith in G-d and Torah must be through faith in the gedolim.

Unfortunately, by publicly declaring that the heter is false and that a major breach in Torah has occurred - they can't conceal from the public that the agents of this breach are in fact gedolim. The longer they hesitate the greater is the loss of faith in gedolim and the greater the cynicism is amongst the masses - including the yeshivos and seminaries. 

In short, since they have gone public with the existence of a major breach - they can not avoid following that to its logical conclusion. But they lack nerve and don't want to be perceived as the ones who destroyed the public status of revered gedolim - Rav Greenblatt and Rav Kaminetsky.

Consequently there is great pressure to try and save the reputation of these gedolim by putting pressure on Aharon Friedman. It is widely viewed by these rabbis that almost all goals will be accomplished if he is sacrificed by forcing him to give a get and receive nothing in return.

Let me make it absolutely clear. Aharon Friedman will never back down. He will not sacrifice his reputation or his relationship with his daughter in order to allow Rav Kaminetsky and Rav Greenblatt to save face and not be held accountable for their sins. Aharon Friedman is not going to be the scapegoat that allows the rabbis to avoid the horrible task of destroying the reputation and legacy of Rav Kaminetsky and Rav Greenblatt - if they won't back down and condemn the phony heter.

Another women freed without a GET - Gedaliah Schwartz - Some more mamzerim

Someone sent me a copy of a letter from the Chicago Beth Din signed by Rabbi Gedoliah Schwartz dated September 22, 2004. This is also listed in the letter as the seventh day of Tishrei, 5765. So, three days before Yom Kippur, when people are probably ready to give a GET at least lichumro to save from making even possible mamzerim, we have a new approach to mamzeruth, Make them and blame it on something that nobody ever heard of. The excuse in this letter is "It is quite evident that this marriage is not halachically valid. This is due to the fact that there was no consumation of the marriage and there is evidence to that effect." Translation, since Rabbi Gedaliah Schwartz has determined that there was never Biah, the marriage never took place. That is what he says, and he once told me this orally. I then asked him how he knew that there was no Biah. He told me the doctor said so. I asked him how the doctor would know if there was a Biah that did not tear anything, such as anal intercourse or neshika, just a touch. No answer.

But the real problem with this "pesak" is that the Shulchan Aruch clearly states that Kiddushin comes about for three reasons: The husband gives his wife a ring or something of value, the common type of kiddushin, and a Kiddushin made with a special document of the couple agreeing to marry, or, a third way, Biah. But the first two approaches are completely valid without Biah. But maybe Rabbi Schwartz never got to that section of the Shulchan Aruch. So let me quote it to him.

Even Hoezer chapter 26 paragraph 4: A woman is married in three ways, with a value of silver [such as a ring, the common way of marrying] or a document or biah." The Shulchan Aruch says that one who marries with Biah is given a beating, but the marriage is still valid. But GS tells a couple married like all marriages with something of value that they are not married because somehow he decided that they had no Biah, something that I challenge him to prove, if he knows the laws of Biah. But since he doesn't know the laws of marriage, why should he know the laws of Biah?

I recall some years ago that a major Rov told me about a couple that went to Rabbi G. Schwartz for a GET and he told them there was no need.  I asked him why no GET was needed and he told me because there was no Biah.

I just want to add that the seforim of the poskim are full of men going to a woman and giving her some money and telling her that she is married to him. Nobody ever said that the marriage is no good because there was no Biah even though in nearly all of this questions there was nothing more than a quick giving of a ring or similar value. But Rabbi Schwartz would make it easy on all of those people and just tell them that if there is no Biah they don't need a GET. If that is different than what the great rabbis of all generations paskened, it just goes to prove that GS has a different Torah than the one Moshe brought down from Sinai.

SHOULD RSK GO TO REB DOVID FEINSTEIN?

Somebody called me yesterday and told me that Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetsky has agreed to submit his permission for Tamar to remarry without a GET to Rav Dovid Feinstein. He asked me why I did not support this. I told him that  the only Rov who permits these things in the first place was Reb Moshe Feinstein, and he made a strong condition: If the husband would give a GET, even with strong conditions, he does not permit the woman to remarry without a GET. Thus, if Reb Dovid permitted Tamar to remarry without a GET even though the husband Aharon would give a GET if certain custody rights could be restored, Reb Dovid Feinstein thus disagrees with his own father Reb Moshe! And I should accept this?

But let us say that Reb Dovid, in a theoretical case, did not disagree with his father. Let us assume that he disagreed, not with his father, but with all of the rabbis such as Rav Chaim Kanievsky and Rav Suriel Rosenberg, the leading poskim on Gittin in Israel. If so, at best we have a SOFEK DIORAYSO a doubt in a Torah law which we must be stringent and rule that she is forbidden to remarry.

Also, I would like to know if Reb Dovid is going to take the enormous amount of time necessary to study psychology and to discuss the matters with the various people who are supposed to have said that Aharon is mentally damaged and can never be a husband, something that Tamar never said until the Kaminentsky reshoim taught it to her. Those few rabbis who did take the time to study these things think that Kaminetskies invented a pure lie. Now, if Reb Dovid says it is not a lie, but many prominent rabbis said it was a lie, we now have a question if Reb Dovid is a greater expert in lies than all of these Rosh Yeshivas.

But let us keep it simple. If Reb Shmuel wants to go to Reb Dovid, why does he not go? It is a free country. And the answer is, that Reb Shmuel has complete faith in his "gadol" capacity to say whatever he wants about anything, despite  his Torah knowledge, that I know personally to be  limited. Reb Shmuel does not have the backing of a single known posek! And yet he still encouraged Tamar to remarry without a GET and have a child that everyone else considers a mamzer, as the great rabbis wrote clearly in their protests at the remarriage of Tamar.

The answer to Reb Shmuel is this: You made up something that is accepted by great rabbis as a pure lie without any backing form a great posek, only yourself or some other feminist rabbi such as _____. And when the world erupted at this, you want to find a fig leaf and ask Reb Dovid. 

But the fig leaf won't help you. You destroyed Tamar. Her baby will be a mamzer. And you will be a greater disgrace. And yet, you don't care. You are so sick that you think  you are smarter than all of the great rabbis who tore your HETER to shreds.

And what is the next step? Probably to put you and your dear son in Cherem, to kick them out of the Philly Yeshiva, and to deal with RNG as well.

How To Fix the Tamar Mess?

taken from my comments on my brother's blog

Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn

The above article [in my brother's blog written by a Cons rabbi]  contains: "In its recent article, the Forward quoted Rabbi Aharon Feldman of Baltimore’s Ner Israel Yeshiva as calling for the former agunah (whose original marriage, and therefore whose status as an agunah, he deems to remain intact) to leave her new husband. Rabbi Feldman declares any future children born to the Fleischers to be mamzerim — “bastards”— themselves forever debarred from marriage to “legitimate” Jews. Rabbi Dovid Eidensohn similarly is quoted as describing the dissolution of Ms. Epstein’s first marriage as “a sad joke based on a clear corruption and misuse of halachic principles,” and declaring Ms. Epstein an “adulteress.”

I want to clarify something. Technically, Ms. Epstein is an "adulteress." But she only followed, like a good Jewish woman, the teachings of her rebbes, the Kaminetskys. Her father was a pious man who was greatly admired by everyone but when he died her father became the Kaminetskies. They, and they alone, are responsible for her being an "adulteress" and if she has a child, all of the rabbis have declared it would be a "Mamzer." The "mamzer maker" will be the Kaminetskies. Now this is a very important fact. Let me explain.

The proper solution that everyone wants is for the three rabbis involved in this to tell Tamar it was a mistake and that she must leave her husband, at least long enough to settle with a GET and avoid mamzeruth. Since these three rabbis are busy inventing the Torah, they will have no trouble doing this. But what will they tell Tamar? Will they tell her that they made a mistake? And now that she may be pregnant, what will she say? How will she feel? And how will her mother feel? If the three rabbis do this, what will people think about them? That is why it will probably never happen. And one mamzer after the other will be born. 

I merely want to point out the pain involved for RSK to admit to Tamar that he was wrong, which basically means that he is not the Gadol perfect rabbi he thought he was, and I don't see that happening so fast. I surely hope and pray that I am completely wrong.

There is another factor here. You have two ninety year old rabbis who are getting a lot of pressure. We have to pray for them to stay healthy until they take the terrible step of admitting their mistake to Tamar, which is really a heroic deed. They are the only ones who can fix this, and for that, they must be healthy enough to be alive!

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We want to point out the great difficulty in creating rules for paskening. Today  the world is much different than it used to be. Once every city  had a recognized Rov and  Beth Din that ruled for everybody but not today. We will point out various Torah sources that are designed to clarify כללי הורארה but in today's world there is confusion. This session does not claim to clarify all the confusion, but to point out various aspects of הוראה that should be understood by someone interesting in the rules of paskening.